Mindful Parenting

Mindful Parenting


Parenting is hard. As I discussed in my podcast with Christine Amour-Levar , so much of parenting seems beyond our control, and I really feel that now that my kids are teenagers.

When I am at my best:?

  1. I listen to understand, not to fix
  2. I see my children as people, not as problems
  3. I have a sense of humour
  4. I am able to stay out of mum guilt
  5. I am able to reinforce boundaries and give them the gift of exercising their frustration, tolerance and resilience muscles.

But when I am super stressed and busy with work, I do the exact opposite!

Quality vs Quantity

I used to think that quality time was all that mattered when it came to being with my kids, but I’ve realized that both quality and quantity are essential. There were tasks I delegated because I didn’t see them as things I had to do myself, but those were actually moments my kids cherished. For instance, I didn’t think I needed to be there while my teenage son got his haircut, but I could tell it made him very happy when I did.

Unlike at work, we can’t really outsource parenting tasks. While it’s important to set boundaries for their growth and learning, being present for the little things — especially the ones that matter to them — makes a big difference.

Mindful Parenting

If you’d like to learn more about mindful parenting, join our senior facilitators for our Parenting With Purpose ?workshop. You will learn how to establish a deeper relationship with your children, without losing your sense of self. Part of the workshop will also help you discover the power of self-acceptance in your parenting journey, and uncover your inner child wounds that impede your success as a parent. Get more details here .

Nothing in life will ever prepare you for the lessons you will learn while being a parent. And any success you have in your life will not matter, if you don’t feel you’ve brought up your kids well.

But, perfection is an illusion, and judgment and shame can be toxic. Be honest with yourself, but also practice self-compassion. You can do this by bringing more intentional awareness into your daily life as well. At the end of the day, we can only do our best.

Much love

Crystal


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Dr Emily Ng

Specialist Orthodontist (Invisalign & Braces) at Denticare (One Marina Boulevard) | Partner at Royce Dental

1 个月

Is that your mum there? Lovely family portrait. Yes, sometimes it's the littlest things that matter to our kids :) Parenting really does expose where we need to reparent ourselves. It's great you have a course for the hardest role in the world! Looked at the PwP course outline - looks great!

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Yes! Thank you for writing this Crystal Lim-Lange. This is consistent with a psychology article, Laurent et al, 2016, which defines mindful parenting as (a) listening with full attention, (b) nonjudgmental acceptance of self and child, (c) emotional awareness of self and child, (d) self-regulation in the parenting relationship, and (e) compassion for self and child. This research shows that mindfulness parenting can reduce stress (measured by cortisol levels) in both mothers and children. You can read more about the science of mindfulness here https://www.dhirubhai.net/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7234580950347608064/

Jason Smalley

Head chef. Coca-Cola. North Sydney. Australia.

1 个月

Highly recommended

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Great advice Crystal. Thanks for sharing.

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Tim Bowman

Author of The Leadership Letter weekly column; Consulting Expert with OnFrontiers; advisor and mentor on leadership and public service; retired U.S. Army and U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services Officer.

1 个月

Even playtime had teachable moments, Crystal, in which I reinforced lessons and built trust. Fast-forward to post college graduation when my daughter was faced with an ethical issue on her job, she calls me for advice. I let her know how glad I was that she called, as she knew where to turn, and reminded her she'll never be too old to ask. (The situation worked out fine.)

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