The Mindful Mediator
What is mindfulness? Why is the state of the mediator’s mind so important?
Mindfulness is the state of being ‘in that moment’ to become more aware of thoughts and feelings and it is believed by achieving this state of mind one's focus is sharpened. Many leading companies and organisations now use ‘Mindfulness Training’ as part of their leadership programmes.
Why is the mediator’s mind so important? Undoubtedly the mediator’s mind is in an intellectual sense the source of the processes and strategic moves engaged to assist parties in resolving their disputes. However how that mind is feeling also plays a huge part in a mediation session and staying in the present moment (mindfulness) rather than being distracted is part of the experienced mediators’ skill set.
Mediators are human beings first and mediators second so like everyone else they struggle with the pressures of life and work. However, when the door opens and the parties arrive to try and resolve their issues they expect and deserve a mediator who is fully attentive and focused on their case and needs. A mediator can’t give just 85% of their mind during a mediation session while the other 15% is distracted by the news that their child didn’t pass their exams or the offer on their house is far less than they’d like. Total commitment and concentration are called for.
It is very important for the mediator to be in the right frame of mind as he/she may be the neutral party directing the process but human interaction plays a large part so the state of the mediator’s mind and emotions have a very real effect on the parties involved and the mediation outcome.
We all know if we go to any sort of meeting the way the others present behave has an effect on how we feel; it’s not just what they say but the way they say it and their overall demeanour. Human interaction is systemic so a balanced and calm mediator is more likely to instil those characteristics in the parties thus leading to a feeling of more confidence both in him and the mediation process itself.
How do I achieve that right frame of mind? That mindfulness? Obviously in the hour before the mediation begins I do a thorough review of the facts of the dispute to familiarise myself with all the details. Then as many people do to achieve that state of mindfulness I use some simple meditation ( yes meditation) techniques like breathing exercises, concentration and releasing tension to clear my mind and be in that ‘now moment’. It really does work try it.
Then with a clear mind and positive energy, that inevitably rubs off, I get great fulfilment empowering the parties towards a resolution.