Mind Yourself!

Prologue

• This article was incepted when a fellow explorer, Jasmine Talreja, brought to my attention, the fascinating insights of Brendon Burchard (a New York Times Bestselling Author, and a leading High Performance Coach).
• Brendon's video titled 'How to Reprogram Your Mind (for positive thinking)' has given life to the expressions that ensue herein. The Brendon video (15 minutes) is available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmx_35rQIRg
• Admittedly, this piece embellishes Burchard's content with ideas from Basil Harris (my mentor), Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Joe Dispenza, Anthony Robbins, Les Brown, and several others. My humble apologies for any names not mentioned here. I have always stood, and continue to stand, on the shoulders of these Giants!
• As with any learning material, treat this as a buffet of ideas: Use whatever resonates with your Current State, And / Or, Use whatever helps you to Elevate your present State.., assuming that is something that you want to do.
• I have effectively used the 'Movie Awareness and Replacement' process (described here) on myself - and felt prolific results. I have also used it with hundreds of Coaching clients - across age groups & cultures. I encourage you particularly to explore the 'Paradox' principle that is elucidated here. It has served me and others most prolifically.
• Note 1: The idea presented here is just one of many tools that can be used to sharpen your thinking & quite literally Smarten you up!
• Note 2: If you are at a stage where your thinking is now mostly positive, you may not need to delve into your 'old movies', as suggested in this article. Rather, you can just work on embellishing your 'new movies'. Regardless, when the 'old movies' do appear on the screen of your mind, consider applying the 'paradox principle' suggested herein.
• Note 3: Pay it Forward. Share this in part or whole, with whomever you think will benefit. Any credits to the author are totally optional!

Patience

• Daniel Kahneman's book 'Thinking Fast and Slow' is a profuse and well researched work on the power of 'thinking slowly' i.e. allowing your ideas to marinate, before making important life decisions.
• Kahneman postulates that, the best strategic thinkers 'Take Time' to decide. In other words, they defer decision making in important areas, whenever possible. They seek more information, they ruminate, they reflect, they rest.., and Then they decide. So they invest time and effort into a Thinking Process. 
• Kahneman highlights our erroneous addictiveness to Fast thinking, to a hurried mental procedure, to an urgency to arrive at A solution, rather than wait for the Best solution. Fair warning: Kahneman's book is a 440+ page hard slog. Cheat Chit: Reading just the first 100 pages can start to alter your thinking... about your thinking!
• The Mind Movies idea expressed in this article, is a derivative of Kahneman's work, in that, it places value in the concept of, taking Time to enhance the Quality of your Thoughts. To deconstruct, then reconstruct, and to do this with finesse, with poise and with elegance.
• In the words of bestselling author and speaker, Dr. Joe Dispenza.., 'Meta Cognition' is:.. Thinking about what you're thinking about. It is an Awareness of, an Observation of.., the words, tonality, sounds, pictures, feelings, scents & tastes that play out on the 'movie screen' of your mind. It is an astute cognizance of the 'Mind Movies' that you consciously or inadvertently play out, in your head (and in your body), during preferred and un-preferred circumstances.
• Now, this is really where it all begins - an Awareness of your Current Program.., an appreciation of the 'movies' that you play on the screen of your mind, particularly during un-preferred situations. These movies are a portrayal of (a) what you think i.e. Substance, (b) how you think i.e. Sequence and (c) the emotions that you feel while you think i.e. State.
• Hence.., programming your mind is just Two Things:

(1) A detailed awareness of your habitual (current) Mind Movies and

(2) A vivid construction of the New (desired) Mind Movies that you wish to perpetuate.

• We will insert a Third Vital step between (1) and (2) in the section that follows. This third step (which actually becomes the second step) is.., the Principle of Paradox.

Power in Paradox

• Now let's Play the game.
• The next time you are in the midst of an un-preferred event - a rude person, a traffic jam, an injury, an illness, a loss of money, a disappointment, a broken promise, a betrayal, etc.., observe the program that your mind automatically plays out. Witness 'the Movie' (aka your negative thinking) that is unwittingly produced within, with all its intricacies:.. the Visuals: colors, shapes, motions, distance & size.., the Sounds: volume, speed, tone, pitch, variation, echo.., the Feelings: texture, temperature, emotion, placement in your body.., the Scents, and the Tastes.
• Bottom Line: Establish a detailed awareness, of your Habitual Mind Movie (assuming that this is a negative movie of course). Play & Replay this old movie until your logical mind has memorized it in full. At this stage itself, you have created Enhanced Self Awareness.
• Remember: The Movie is not the actual un-preferred event! This is not what we are recording. The movie is - the thoughts that you think, when (during and / or after) you encounter the un-preferred event. This is what we are recording!
• A few Empowering Questions to ask yourself here: (a) Now that I am Fully aware of this habitual mind movie of mine.., what do I think about it? (b) Where did I learn to think this way? (c) Who's thinking patterns / habits am I emulating? (d) How does it serve me to think in this manner? (e) For what purpose am I holding on to it? (f) What Benefit or Gain do I perceive that I will receive, by staying with this movie? These questions bring this movie to the awareness of your Logical (conscious) mind. Work slowly through these questions. This will help you to gradually become a detached spectator.., a 'thought curator'. As you curate, observe how the Emotion within you starts to shift - from disempowering to empowering.
• This kind of Enhanced Awareness is an Empowering emotional state - in and of itself. This is Meta Cognition!
• Permit this self discovery and, most importantly, Eschew Self Judgment. You are who you are! Allow yourself to be just that. Any change does not have be immediate, intense or incapacitating. It is normal for any sort of transformation to take time (reference Kahneman). Don't rush into solution (or panic) mode, just because your current Movie is embarrassing to you. If this is how you think, then so be it. Accept, allow, permit.
• Eventually, you will work on a New (Empowering) movie that will replace the Old Movie. However, if self judgment or self persecution starts to seep in, at the awareness (of the old movie) stage, then defer any action to replace this old movie. This is an important psychological tenet.
• Important: Any New Movie will only be effective once you release self incrimination with regards to the Old Movie. Remember, the Old Movie, albeit negative, IS STILL VALID, because it was created by you! Granted that you will eventually replace this movie (negative thinking). However, let the replacement happen only after you accept the Old Movie as a Valid Choice! Under a certain set of circumstances, you created that old movie - and at that time, it was ok to do so. Now, you are just becoming astutely aware of your current thinking paradigms.
• Paradoxically, wanting the old movie to go away, causes it to stick around a lot longer! Instead, un-judgmentally embracing the old movie, as part of the 'whole you', leads to an organic & effortless release.
• So now, here are the Three Steps (as opposed to the two steps that were mentioned earlier):

(1) A detailed awareness of your habitual (current / old) Mind Movies.

(2) An unconditional, un-judgmental acceptance that, the Old Movie was, and still is a Valid Choice. This step is soo important. Our pain is actually twofold: (a) the actual pain of the old movie (i.e. re-living the event, with anger, regrets, etc) and (b) the pain of judging ourselves for even thinking these kind of thoughts. The fallacy of positive thinking is that we have to eliminate negative thinking. The paradox principle encourages Embracing your negative thinking, as a part of you. When you extend love to that part of you, that thinks negatively, suddenly that old movie doesn't feel negative or painful anymore. That 'negative energy' is Transmuted not Eliminated. (Remember Physics 101: Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it can only change form). Please understand that this is not the same as Self Forgiveness, because, forgiveness still implies that you are doing something wrong (i.e. repeating those negative thoughts), rather, it is Self Acceptance, it is Self Permissiveness. When you resist the Negative thinking, it persists. When you allow the Negative thinking to just Be.., while you continually enhance your un-judgmental observation of it, the Negative thinking will leave you - of its own volition! This is the power of Paradox!

(3) From this place of self permissiveness, you will find it easy, almost effortless, and fun even, to create your New Mind Movie(s). The New Movie creation process is now almost organic, it is automatic. Creativity flows. There is an explosion of empowering ideas! The blockages have been removed and the tumor has dissolved. You experience flow, sureness, certainty and glee. You will incept positive, new, empowering Movies with grace and grandeur.

Perspective

• Treat yourself as part of a Whole. You are the Divine and the Diabolical, the Saint and the Sinner, the Profound and the Profane. All capacities exist within you - the capacity for Good and the capacity for Evil. For Light to be observed, there must be Darkness. Hence, in the larger paradigm, Light and Darkness co-exist within the same realm, and the presence of one helps us to appreciate the other. You are the yin and the yang, significant yet trivial, worthy yet paltry! You are the essence of Paradox. Those negative thoughts were birthed by you. Your truant child.., is still Your child!
• This Paradoxical 'Old Movie Validation' process is the seat of your Power! You can expect lasting emotional change to arise Through it. I have used and continue to use the Paradox thought process to bring calm to many turbulent minds. The tranquility that it evokes is unparalleled and I dare say.., unwavering.
• All of a sudden, the horrendous old movie, isn't horrendous anymore - it can be witnessed with higher and higher degrees of detachment and awe.
• Your Primary Goal is to Become an Equanimous Observer of your Negative Thoughts.
• Your Secondary Goal is to Introduce Positive Thoughts into your mind-frame.
• A Non Sequitur if I may: I have even used this paradox method with clients to help reduce physical pains and dissolve ailments. When the client embraces the pain (or dis-ease), observes it, accepts its presence within his /her body, treats the pain as a guest in their home, talks to it - as he would to a friend.., paradoxically, the pain starts to mitigate. Conversely, when the client insists that the pain go away, feels concern, projects fear, debates, argues and fights.., or takes action that is assertive or resolute, the pain continues to persist OR.., it goes away for a while and then comes right back!
• Movie Observation Note 1: Sometimes, and especially with intense negative emotions, you are only able Recall the entire old movie post facto i.e. after you have returned to a calmer state of mind. This is perfectly all right. You will gradually be able to witness your old movie while it is 'in progress' (i.e. while you are thinking those thoughts), and with the detached emotions of an outside observer.
• Movie Observation Note 2: Intend to Record the old movie in High Definition. Take your time. Your emotions may inhibit you from creating a quality recording straight up. Be patient. Take as many days as required. Be gentle on yourself with regard to this observation and recording process. Remember Kahneman's work on Slow Thinking. Allow time for awareness and the 'observer status' to descend upon you.

Production

• Here are Two Steps for creating Your New Empowering Movie.

Step 1:

• On a sheet of paper, describe the 'Ideal You' (i.e. what you wish to become) using Three words.
• Now Pause. Take a deep breath. Read these words out loud. Check how you feel when you say these words. If you have done your paradox process properly, you will Enjoy seeing, hearing and feeling these words.
• Now, write Three More words to describe the Ideal You. Read these additional words out loud. Check again how you feel when you see and speak the words.
• As an example, here are My 3 + 3.
• (1) Inspired (2) Intelligent (3) Intuitive.
• (4) Intense (5) Introspective (6) Imaginative.
• Note: Consider using an alliteration. These tend to be more memorable, and it rolls off the tongue. In this case, all my words start with the letter 'I'. This is just an idea. By all means use whichever words feel good to you, regardless of whether they alliterate or not.
• You are now Ready to Produce your New Movie!

Step 2:

• Here, you will essentially Morph the Old Movie into a New one!
• Play back Your Old Movie... this time very slowly... frame by frame.
• Pause at the very first frame.
• Turn up (or down) the Brightness and observe how it makes you feel. Do you like it brighter or would it feel better if the frame is darker? Now do this with Contrast, then with color vs black & white. Then increase or decrease the size of the characters and objects in this frame. With each amendment, check in with yourself and ascertain your Emotional response. The idea is to discover the changes that get you to feel at the very least happier. A creative client of mine did this: She morphed the face of her nemesis into the face of Daffy Duck! With color, expressions, movement, et al.
• Now, turn up or down the volume (this time run the video forward for a few seconds), increase or decrease the speed, change people's tone of voice, change the sounds emitted by objects. The same client mentioned above, changed the voice of her foe into the quacking sound of Daffy! Do you think she was entertained? Did this shift her mood - from pissed to blissed!? Did it get her to feel differently towards the same (now edited) movie? That would be a loud and resounding Yes!
• You could also change things like temperature, texture, scent and taste memories that are embedded in the old movie.
• Do you now have some ideas on what you could do to Edit your Old movie?
• If you have a need for variety (which a lot of us do), then let it flow. Edit the visuals, sounds, textures, etc on your old movie, as many times as you wish. Sometimes, just the variety evokes Positive Thoughts and Emotions!

Post

• As you apply these ideas, in whole or part, feel free to share your experiences with myself and others.
• You are Worthy! You are Deserving! You are Capable! You are Competent!

(Arjun Aiyar is a 'Life & Abundance' Coach, Psychotherapist, Motivational Speaker, Corporate Trainer and Entrepreneur. He owns a Management Consulting firm, and lives in Dubai. He adds value to Corporates, Leaders & Entrepreneurs across the globe. Arjun also works with Individuals, Couples and Families - helping them to resolve deep Emotional Issues and achieve Peace of Mind. He can he reached at www.stepupuae.com)