Mind Your Language!

I’m no psychologist—I’m a recovering accountant—but I think I’ve learned enough about the human condition to confidently say, “Mind your language!”

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I’m originally from Warwickshire in Central England, the county that gave us William Shakespeare—or “Billy Shakes,” as we used to refer to him in our school assignments. He wrote in Hamlet, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” He first penned this in the early 1600s.

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The shoulders on which Billy stood, though, came from the Book of Proverbs, which states, “As a person thinks in their heart, so are they.” This collection of wisdom is believed to have been completed around 700 BC—about 2,300 years before Billy took the stage.

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What does this historical detour have to do with the working world in 2025? I’d propose—everything! Our words have immense power: they can lift us up and inspire others, or they can drag us down and negatively impact those around us.

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Let’s look at some examples. Are you impressed by people who constantly tell you how “busy” they are? Are you even more impressed when they emphasize their self-importance and frazzled state by saying they’re “crazy busy” or “super crazy busy”?

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I’ve observed that many people use their busyness as a smokescreen to avoid accountability. If I’m “super crazy busy,” you’re less likely to ask me to take on more work as my manager, and you’re more likely to excuse late or substandard work.

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Here’s something intriguing: the Chinese word for “busy” consists of two characters—one meaning “death” and the other “heart.” If the brain truly accepts whatever we suggest to it, as both Billy and Proverbs imply, I wonder if we’re unconsciously saying “death to the heart” when we rush around, overwhelmed by how busy we claim to be.

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If we have a lot on our plate, we can still be truthful without reinforcing stress. Instead of saying “I’m busy,” try “I’ve had a challenging day” or “I’m pretty full-on right now.” Polynesian cultures embrace this kind of proactive language, describing it as being “on top of the surf” rather than “under the surf.”

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I encourage you to avoid phrases like “busy,” “crazy busy,” “super crazy busy,” “buried,” or “slammed”—words that serve neither colleagues, customers, nor vendors well.

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Do you have a habit (and that’s all it is—a habit) of telling people how tired you are? If you say you’re exhausted at 10 a.m., do you feel more or less tired after lunch? Our words can be self-fulfilling prophecies. If you keep saying “I’m exhausted,” your body will comply. Instead, try saying, “I need more energy.” You’ll likely find yourself reaching for water and fruit instead of caffeine and sugar, finishing the day much stronger.

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Now, let’s talk about the word “try.” How confident are you that something will get done when someone says they’ll “try” to do it? Nobel Prize-winning researchers Ornstein and Sperry discovered that the brain doesn’t truly understand the word “try.” It responds best to decisive language like “yes” or “no.” So, don’t “try” to do something—either say “yes” with conditions or “no” with reasoning and alternatives.

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Gandhi once said, “A no uttered with the deepest conviction is better than a yes uttered only to appease but not actually do.” That ancient Book of Proverbs echoes this sentiment: “Let your yes be a yes and your no be a no.” It seems there really is nothing new under the sun.

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Our words are simply habitual behaviors. One of the wonderful aspects of being human is that tomorrow doesn’t have to be the same as yesterday—we have the freedom to make different choices today. We truly become the sum of our choices.

Orwell once said, “By the time you leave this earth, you have the face you deserve.” I believe he meant that our thoughts turn into actions, and those actions shape both our lives and even our physical appearance—a principle also referenced to in those timeless texts I mentioned earlier.

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So, as we step further into 2025, may we mind our language—squeezing the maximum juice out of each workday, serving others at our highest level, and finishing the day with enough energy to be fully present for our loved ones.

Paul Butler is a Client Partner at Newleaf Training and Development (newleaftd.com) and can be reached at [email protected] or 661 288 1004.?

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