Mind Your Language

We use language every day. However, how much thought do you put into your words when wanting to make a point??

How about imagining the language you use as a pair of glasses? Every word you utter is like looking through a different lens, altering how you and others view the world. This metaphor goes a long way in helping you understand the power language has in leadership. Let me share some techniques used in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) to help you improve your verbal communication.?

The Metaphor of Glasses:

The language we use shapes our reality. For you as a leader, the words chosen are more than just a means of communication; they are tools you use to shape perspective, morale, and productivity.? Changing one's language can alter one's outlook, like switching lenses.?

The Influence of NLP:

For me, Neuro-Linguistic Programming offers insights into how our use of language affects the receptors in our brain. NLP suggests that our words can influence our thoughts, feelings, and, subsequently, our actions. Therefore, as a leader, your language can directly impact the performance mindset of those you communicate with.?

A Transformative Story

Give thought to Arrah, whom I worked with some years ago.? As a leader, she was known for being direct and, at times, having a critical approach. Although her team was technically proficient, she needed them to be more cohesive, and they sometimes suffered from low morale. While working together, Arrah deliberately changed her approach, focusing on some simple techniques to alter her language.?

Three Transformative Language Techniques

1. Positive Framing:

Arrah began by looking at the way she described situations to her team and found she would mostly use negative language to frame a situation.? After reflecting on the general results she was getting from the team, Arrah decided to see her challenges as opportunities to bring her team closer together. So, instead of saying, "This project is behind schedule," she reframed her language to say, "What can I do to help us get back on track?" This subtle shift in her language turned what could have been a tricky situation into a chance for her to bond with the team and let them know she was there with them.?

This technique certainly doesn't mean ignoring the elephant in the room. It means approaching the team with a mindset that seeks solutions and learning opportunities instead of apportioning blame. At this stage, blame helps no one. This approach can foster a more collaborative mindset.?

2. Empowering Questions:

During one of our sessions, I asked Arrah about the type of questions she asked her team, and her response wasn’t surprising, “Questions to get the job done!” she replied. After unpacking what that meant, Arrah realised she spent most of her time giving ‘orders’ rather than stepping back and asking questions.? So, we looked at what she wanted to achieve by her questioning and devised a plan to move away from giving direct orders to posing more questions. Arrah replaced statements such as, "You need to do it this way," with, "How would you approach this task?" This approach encouraged her team to think more critically and own their work.

Now, I hear you all shouting that this approach takes time, and in 'your' environment, you don't have the time.?However, it might be worth asking yourself why you lack time. It may be because you spend too much time thinking operationally rather than concentrating on the strategic outcome. Does it have to be your way, or is it just because you feel comfortable ‘managing’ that way? Yes, of course, it will take time in the short term; however, in the long term, you'll create space to work 'on the business' instead of 'in the business.' As Steve Covey would say, it's a 'Win-win!"

By asking instead of telling, you can empower your team. This approach will help grow your team's confidence and encourage creative thinking and problem-solving.

3. Inclusive Language:

When Arrah and I discussed who owned the work, she referred to the team; however, when talking to them, she would often use terms such as 'I' and 'me' so, with some reflection, she was able to realise how much more powerful using 'we' and 'us' would be.? This simple change engendered a sense of teamwork and collective effort. Statements like, "I need this done now," became, "How can we achieve this together?" Or "When can you get this done?" Which opened the door for a realistic discussion about timescales.

Inclusive language creates a sense of belonging and unity. It reinforces the idea that everyone is part of the team and that their contributions are valuable. This can help boost morale and encourage collaboration.

What else can I do?

The Other Side of Language:

Active listening complements effective language use. It involves genuinely listening, understanding perspectives, and responding thoughtfully, enhancing communication and team dynamics.

Adapting Your Language:

You must be adept at modifying your language according to the situation. The language you use in a crisis will (hopefully) differ from that in a routine meeting; otherwise, everything seems urgent all the time, and your team will eventually become immune to your need for urgency. Understanding the context and adjusting your language are marks of a skilled leader.

Conclusion:

Language is a powerful tool to have in your locker. By developing the art of language, as a leader, you can change how you see the world and how your team perceives and interacts with it and you. Leaders who consciously alter their linguistic approach can expect a positive transformation in their communication and overall work environment.

Language, when used effectively, can be transformative. It's not just about what you say as a leader but also how you say it.?

What will you notice in your next conversation?