The Mind Wanderings of a Mum at a Crossroads

Part 2: Fog to Focus: Navigating 'The Fuzz'

Navigating ‘brain fuzz,’ reframing capability as a working parent, and leaning into strengths.

Parenting three children (5yrs, 4yrs, 11mo) has left me navigating a condition I like to call ‘fuzz on the brain.’ The short-circuits. The TV static. The ‘no-signal.’ The ‘compuu-er sez no.’ The limited focus-time, particularly in those first few months back at work. It can feel like you’re trying to download a file with dial-up internet.

It’s not debilitating, but it does change the way I interact with and process information. And, admittedly, it can be frustrating. Like the time I blanked mid-conversation with a senior leader and forgot where I was going with my point. Okay… that’s happened more than once. Or when I sat in a meeting, knowing I’d read the document being discussed but couldn’t recall the one detail that was suddenly the hot topic. The old me would have obsessed over those moments, replaying them in my mind. But, I’ve had to adapt.

With so many professionals achieving incredible feats and seemingly doing it all, it’s easy to fall into the rabbit hole of comparison. I catch myself longing for the days when I felt sharp—when I had the mental bandwidth for details and could speak clearly, without my mind glitching mid-sentence. Albeit, days with less sleep debt.

Pre-kids, I had the capacity to hold a serious amount of detail. I knew 3.1.5 of the leave policy and a mental inventory of those with high leave balances and amounts, in real time. Now, my mind works differently. It has to. I’m learning to cut through the fog and deliver value where it counts.

Instead of feeling the pressure to memorise every detail, I’m coming to embrace my natural strength as a synthesiser of information. I’m practicing active listening, pulling out key themes, forming connections between ideas, people, and problems, and weaving them into narratives that make sense. A way for my mental filing cabinet to store something meaningful. The honey that sticks.

I’m two months back from my third, and final, parental leave. Each time I've returned, I’ve found myself needing to lean more and more into my strengths—and the strengths of those around me. The fuzz has forced me to be more intentional. To work with it.

As a People Business Partner, I’m fortunate to work alongside leaders from diverse fields, each bringing unique knowledge and perspectives. My role often involves exploring their challenges and breaking them down into manageable chunks. It’s not about having all the answers but about creating clarity and fostering unity, and offering the space for solutions to emerge. Where in this do I say I need to be Google? My sharpness lies in understanding the emotional nuances of work, connecting ideas, and helping people navigate their challenges more effectively. I love being part of it.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on this ‘brain fuzz’ and trying to reframe how I see it, bringing some perspective to the situation. My greatest quality. While my capacity for certain work details may feel different than it once did, I’ve gained strengths in other areas, which I've highlighted in this reflection. Maybe my definition of sharp needs to evolve. Maybe sharpness isn’t about knowing it all. Google doesn’t even have that job covered. Maybe it’s about adaptability, agility, and evolving with life’s rhythms. A maturing of the mind.

This year, I’ll be practicing working to my strengths and agility in my work. Whether it’s brainstorming sessions, breaking down problems, or learning and translating new concepts into insights that leaders and I can use and understand. The fog of motherhood has opened space for new ways of working, thinking, and connecting. Mental capacity isn’t static. It evolves.

And as I embrace this new mental rhythm, I’m also embracing the support and strengths of others. I am surrounded by seriously talented people. Whether it’s a work mate, friend or my husband, I’m not afraid to ask, 'What do you think? Agility is going to be key this year, not just for the challenges I already know are coming, but for the opportunities I hope to create.

This is the year I practice trusting my strengths, leaning into the collective wisdom around me, and keeping sight of what’s important.

This continues the reflections and revelations shared in my previous wandering, The Swiss Army Knife of Time. If you haven't read Part 1, please feel free to check it out.