Mind + Speech Networking Hacks
Recently I led some group discussions on Mind + Speech Networking Hacks at the ATD Puget Sound Summer Networking Extravaganza. We had some great conversations and learnings, and I'm going to share the highlights.
Your Networking Mindset
Before I get to the hacks, you need to know a bit about the different networking mindsets. In March 2019, Adam Grant released a podcast episode entitled "Networking for people who hate networking" - and one of his guests was LinkedIn cofounder Reid Hoffman. Hoffman, who spent a large part of his career helping people create better networks, found that people approach networking with one of four mindsets:
- Connect to immediately trade favors
- Connect to get a favor with the intent to return the favor later
- Connect for the sake of connecting with others
- Connect with the intent to help because they believe in helping others
Most people approach networking with mindsets 1 and 2...usually because we wait to network until we really, desperately need help. But you're unlikely to get the right help from someone you just met. The right help usually comes from someone with whom you already have a relationship. You can meet tons of people regardless your mindset...but unsurprisingly, the most successful relationship builders are from the 4th category: the Givers.
Adam summarized with this simple advice:
Don’t focus on what you can get. Focus on what you can give.
The Mind Hack to Improve your Networking
My favorite way to help people change to this 4th mindset is:
Pretend the person you're going to meet is your customer.
When you frame someone as a customer, you become more inquisitive, more empathetic, and you want to help them solve their problems. This quote attributed to Dale Carnegie really sums it up:
To apply this simple mindset hack, mentally set up the following scenario:
If this person were my customer, what would I want to know about them? What questions would I ask?
The great thing about this mindset is that it doesn't just help you set the foundation for strong new relationships - it's also a great way to improve those existing relationships.
The Speech Hack to Improve your Networking
The speech hack is a two-parter. First...
STOP leading with questions like "Where do you work?" or "What do you do?"
We ask those questions because they're easy, but the answers are usually boring and don't generate further conversation. Instead, use a question that cuts straight to the person's interests, motivations, and needs. Here are my four favorites:
- What is your biggest challenge?
- What are you here to learn? or What brings you here?
- What’s the Next Big Thing you have coming up?
- What are you most excited about at the moment?
For more ideas, check out my article Networking 101: How to make a connection.
Director for Teaching & Learning | Consultant for Colleges | Speaker
5 年Great article! Thanks for sharing! I personally like to network to learn from people. It is amazing to see a wealth of information people I connected with are sharing.
GALLUP Strengths, Executive & Career Transition Coach | Leadership Development | Recruiting Strategy
5 年It was so much fun, thanks for sharing this Jenn!?
75+ Growing Teams Awakened || Stop fighting human nature. Boost team chemistry, PERFORMANCE, and morale || When will your team become unstoppable?
5 年Spread this far and wide! The more people network with this shift in mind, the more fun we'll all have being networked. One additional way I approach it is to look for people to connect to others I know... To more densely network my network.