The Most Important Skill You Should Master This Year —?Putting Down the Phone

In this series, professionals describe the skills they’re building this year. Read the stories here, then write your own (use #SkillsGap in the body of your post).

Jim Elliot wrote, “Wherever you are, be all there.”

To be fully present is a gift to yourself and those under your leadership. In 2016, this can feel impossible.

Today’s business world is different than the one in which I came of age. Modern technology is a miracle; it’s also causing what I call a crisis of presence. We have so many distractions vying for our attention: buzzing phones, notifications for everything from chats to Facebook to weather alerts. Because we can fill every second with business matters, we do. We email from our smartphones between (or during!) back-to-back meetings, make phone calls from airplanes, even text in the car. Our obsession with 24/7 connectivity isn’t just distracting; it is dangerous and bad for our health.

I think I’m not alone in saying that being truly present and giving my full attention to a given matter at hand is a significant challenge through all this noise. When I’m in a meeting, I need to pay attention to the people in the room. When I’m working on an email, I need to focus on my writing and not check every phone notification I hear.

Staying present is a skill I’ve been working on for 40 years, and I will continue to do so, because I need that focus today more than ever. I practice mindfulness through daily meditation, and I have since my wife Penny first dragged me to a Transcendental Meditation class in 1975. Meditation changed my life, and I’ve dedicated both my personal life and my study of leadership to the ways in which mindfulness can improve people as leaders. Even with a daily practice, I know that staying present is a skill I could greatly improve. I can’t imagine my level of distraction without meditation!

In my book Discover Your True North, I discuss the ways in which mindfulness can help you become a more authentic leader. Good leaders need to be self-aware. They need the time and space to look inside and honestly assess their lives, values and motivations. A mindfulness practice offers this space.

Authentic leaders also need integrated lives. We are not healthy as leaders if our lives are all business, all the time. Family, friends, activities and community involvement must also take priority. Mindfulness practices help us calm the constant stress of our business lives, helping us see that disengaging from the office when necessary actually makes us more effective as businesspeople and leaders.

How would I advise today’s generation to learn mindfulness techniques and acquire the skill of staying present? I think they need a two-pronged approach.

First, they need to understand that mindfulness is a practice, not a destination. Second, they need to learn to put down the phone.

While I’ve discovered that the practice of mindfulness is best accomplished for me through meditation, I don’t think this is the only way to achieve it. Some people find that stillness of mind on the running trail, or in yoga class. Some people journal, or pray, or simply take dedicated time to relax every day in some sort of calm setting. You can find the practice that works best for you. The most important part is doing it once you’ve found it.

Don’t practice mindfulness sometimes, or when it’s convenient — make it a regular part of your life. If you choose to take a walk around the block at work, do it every day, even — perhaps especially — on days heavy with deadlines. If you choose yoga, find a class you can attend every single week. Do whatever you do intentionally and with dedicated, and you will reap benefits in your working life.

Finally, disengage from your devices. Don’t bring your phone to your meetings. Cordon off regular time in your daily schedule in which you don’t check email, and be open about that practice so that people come to expect it of you. Cut the cord. You’ll discover a calmer, more focused, more productive workday if you do.

As I head into 2016, I intend to rededicate myself to the practice of staying present. Will you join me?