The Mind of Right and Wrong

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,?There is a field. I'll meet you there.?When the soul lies down in that grass,?The world is too full to talk about.?

-- Rumi

We are judging creatures.? It’s built into our DNA.? Deciding what we like and don’t like, what is dangerous and what is safe – these are essential functions that help us survive and thrive. They help us differentiate toxic mushrooms from nutritious ones and distinguish safe driving habits from dangerous ones.

And of course, self-criticism often goes hand-in-hand finding fault with others. But when this critical faculty is tamed, we become kinder to everyone, including ourselves.

But as we know, our judgments sometimes do more harm than good.? As the 13th century Persian poet Rumi eloquently reminds us, the world is so much bigger than the limiting judgments we are constantly making about it. When we observe the current political climate, with its heated debates and conflicting ideologies, we witness the inflaming of this “mind of right and wrong” on a grand scale, and the effects are mostly harmful.?

Zen and the mind of right and wrong

Many of us seek refuge in spiritual practices like Zen meditation, hoping to transcend the limitations of this mind of discrimination. We sit down to pray or to meditate, planning to leave the mind of right and wrong at the door, only to find it to be a persistent visitor.

During meditation, we often find ourselves face-to-face with the very things we wish to avoid and push away. It could be the person sitting next to us who we decide is breathing too loudly, or the traffic noise that’s disturbing our peace and quiet. In these moments, the mind of right and wrong awakens within us, dividing the world into preferred and unwanted experiences.

Ironically, it’s these divisions – these preferences that we’re so attached to – that cause us the most pain. It’s often our likes and dislikes, rather than the actual circumstances of our lives, that make us suffer. So, how do we make sense of the paradox that meditation unleashes the very mind we aim to transcend? The mind of right and wrong, which can wreak havoc in the world, can instead become a source of nourishment and healing.

David Brazier's insightful book, "The Feeling Buddha," sheds light on the role of suffering in our lives and its connection to awakening. Suffering, he says, may never entirely cease. Meditation involves channeling and containing that suffering. By sitting with our aversions and judgments, we learn to observe them without moving, without being swept away by their power. In doing so, the mind of right and wrong gradually loses its grip.

Mental health and problems with self-criticism

Although occasional self-doubt is part of life for most of us, chronic or excessive self-criticism may contribute to serious mental health problems, such as depression, social anxiety, or even suicide.? Many people suffer from crippling inner voices that are unrealistically harsh. Although most of us learn to tame our inner critics as we grow up – often with the help of supportive parents, friends, and partners – some of us find it impossible to remind ourselves that no one is perfect, that everyone makes mistakes, and that we can live with our shortcomings. Good psychological treatments are available to help with harsh self-criticism.? And of course, self-criticism often goes hand-in-hand with finding fault in others – a tendency to judge the self and others harshly are often two sides of the same coin.? This, of course, sets us up to be wary of others and less connected than we might want to be. But when the this critical faculty is tamed, we become kinder to everyone, including ourselves.

Lifespan research: When people reflect on what really matters in life . . .?

In the Harvard Study of Adult Development, we asked people in their 80s to look back on their lives and tell us what they regretted or wished they had done differently.? Two big regrets were the most common among the people in our study:

• “I wish I hadn’t spent so much time worrying about what others might think of me.”??
• “I wish I had spent more time with the people I cared about.”

Both of these common regrets bring us back to our judging minds – the minds that hold us to unrealistic standards, that build walls which shut us off from ourselves and from other people.??

Rumi reminds us that there is another way to live: Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, There is a field. I'll meet you there.

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