Mind the Reactivity

Some of the reasons contributing to a heightened sense of stress, anger and anxiety are our reactions towards events we find disappointing.

Reacting to worrying news.

Reacting to people openly flouting hygienic SOPs

Reacting to others reacting to disappointments.

Reacting by blaming, labelling, and condemning.

“Infections are high, we’re in friggin’ MCO, and these people have to converse in public without their masks on! Stupid idiots! They ought to be shot!”

No wonder many of us have difficulty focusing on daily routines and get easily stressed up, affecting our quality of life and well-being. All these add up to be very overwhelming.

Tensions in the body take up energy. We get tired more easily. When we’re tired we become less caring, less rational and less efficient. These can snowball into further misery.

So one way to cope is to be aware of our reactions, their consequences and think about whether they’re what we want. If not, can there be alternative beliefs that we can generate to create more effective and preferred consequences (i.e., less reactive, more rational and composed, more solution focus and better sense of control)?

We have many demands of ourselves, other people and life in general. We demand that we are effective at all times, that others be fair and considerate, and that life should be better. These demands form our automatic thoughts that are part of our beliefs.

Are we hopelessly doomed this way? No.

Can we ever change? Yes.

Easier said than done but with practice, it gets easier and better. There’s research evidence, too.

Firstly, acknowledge that these demands are not necessary. They can be replaced with more rational beliefs. With constant practice (by yourself and together with others), these more effective thoughts can turn into new beliefs.

“I’m worried about… but I don’t need to dwell on this. What I can do is….”

“I’d have liked … but it isn’t so. I’m upset but I don’t have to remain upset. Condemning only makes me angrier. What I can do is …”

So yes. Get proactive about reactivity. Focus instead on replacing the sense of helplessness with finding solutions within your means and ability. Have that sense of control. Get back to sense of certainty and hope. Where needed, get help. Get learning about ways to be more rational.

There’s no need to wallow. Be kind. Move on. Get solutions. Get adapting. Keep practicing. We need you to be functional. Our collective well-being depends each other’s well-being. Let’s help each other out.