Mind my mindfulness...or get out of my bloody way!
Is it the plumber with the leaky tap, the leadership company with poor leaders or just human nature, that we often find experts in their field to sometimes lack in their personal lives what they empower or teach others to do? While I am no expert on mindfulness, I know we all have our moments. It is a bit like a "shaken up coke bottle" that someone has opened and it has just sprayed everywhere. There is no stopping it!
AND once it starts spraying everywhere it is really hard to stop it!
What does it mean to be mindful?
What does it mean to be mindful? ... Merriam-Webster defines mindfulness as “the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one's thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis.” Basically, mindfulness means being aware of and controlling your experience.
Now if you think someone can be "mindful" consistently you maybe correct however one thing I do know is that we are all human. With so much information coming at us in so many different ways (often 24 hours a day and 7 days a week).....It is no wonder that we are becoming less "mindful" and more stressful everyday. AND suddenly we are spraying everywhere, over everyone, causing more mess with our behaviour. Completely unintended right? Our reaction can even surprise us because we thought we were coping!
What is coping?
In psychology, coping means to invest own conscious effort, to solve personal and interpersonal problems, in order to try to master, minimize or tolerate stress and conflict. The psychological coping mechanisms are commonly termed coping strategies or coping skills.
Notice that little word, TRY !
“Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Yoda - The Empire Strikes Back
Now if you google "mindfulness" you will get lots of information and easy ways to practice mindfulness. In fact you will get lots of information some maybe helpful, some may not. It is something that often we think we "don't need" in life. It is a little like getting a coach or a PT Trainer or for some people even having a holiday. They think I don't need that!
And while you might not think you "need it" by the time you realise the value of it - you maybe further down the hole.
Back in 2003, I had panic attacks and anxiety. I had no idea what it was I just thought everyone felt like that. Completely self induced. Running a business, two preschool aged kids and having so many balls in the air and still pushing harder and harder to be "perfect"
I remember saying "If only I didn't need to sleep - I would have enough time" Ah but how long until I used that time up and needed 28 hours a day instead of 24 hours a day?
It was my lack of "mindfulness" that lead me down this path. And I am not saying you need to sit on a hill under a tree and chant for 40 days and nights. What I am saying is give yourself some time out. Give yourself some space and put yourself first.
Look after the most important person YOU !
Key signals to watch out for
- Knee jerk or emotional reactions to small things
- Lack of sleep
- Waking at night or not being able to get to sleep
- Getting upset about little things
- Loop thinking i.e. where you get stuck in a conversation in your head
- Feeling negative about things
- Going into overwhelm
- Feeling emotional for no reason
- Road rage
After recovering from anxiety (and yes I had many things on that list but just ignored them) I put together my first ever recording of meditations call "Rinse & Reset" It takes a few minutes everyday! No matter what 'method' you decide to use.....BE GOOD TO YOU!
A REMINDER HERE:
“Do. Or do not. There is no try.” Yoda - The Empire Strikes Back
Come and join my win:win community and find free resources at my website Colombo Consulting - see you there !
And you can even find my meditation track
Feel free to private message or connect with me as I would love to hear from you !
Franchise Consulting / Executive Search & Talent Acquisition / HR Strategy / Performance Psychologist
5 年I can related to this article in many ways. Its important that people understand what leads to their own 'personal mindfulness'. When I started martial arts in my very late 30's I had almost zero sense of mindfulness for myself. There are many things now that contribute to it for me including diet, sleep, regular kick boxing classes, regular communication with my kids and partner...when I miss one, the others certainly feel the strain.
President Football Coaches Australia, Socceroo #263, Senior Consultant at Gary Cole Consulting, Podcast host ‘The Football Coaching Life’
5 年Thanks for the share, so much truth here. I also think that many of us can be mindful professionally but be the can of coke at home with loved ones. Make time to be mindful in all circumstances ??
Wordpress Web Designer ? Online Business Manager ? Strategy & Accountability Partner ??? Managing tech & backend chaos, so that you can focus on your business ??? ?????? communicative | strategic | practical | organised
5 年Great list of key signals. I really know that my mindfulness has gone out the window those days when random people on the street annoy me for no acceptable reason beside me being edgy. Taking breaks that make me feel disconnected from the frenzy business brain activity are really my favourite moments of the day now. Still could learn to leave the phone a little bit more often, though... ;)
National Program Manager at BCD Travel
5 年Relevant article for so many, well done. Openly sharing your past issues with anxiety is a great approach to allow people to know they are not alone. Generally speaking .....Understanding / accepting who you really are and being comfortable in projecting that person forward is absolutely key. Fight todays obsessive compulsive need to be accountable to everyone and everything at all times in the pursuit of a perfectly delivered social media life, benchmarked to individuals possibly hiding larger issues than your own. Suddenly you will find yourself in a world we once had, rich in the profit of time, which can be now dedicated to the treasured shared experiences with those few that really matter. The simplicity of the resulting utopia is staggering and must be protected with your new mastery.
Producer, Inventor, Designer, Dad, Husband, and most importantly, a Devout Christian.
5 年Great article Sandy. Those little words have stuck with me all these years, “Do. Or do not, there is no try.” Try is the expression that sets you up for failure, because it gives you an out.