THE MIND GAMES

“You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind.” - Darwin P. Kingsley

If we feed our mind with the right thoughts about ourselves, our success is inevitable.

A couple of years ago when conducting a session on Friendship and Bonding in one of the schools, I was surprised when I asked the question – “Is there anyone here who does not have a friend?” There was one boy who raised his hand and said, “ I don’t have any friends in this class. No one talks to me.” I checked with the remaining students if it was true that no one talked to him. I was told, “ We do, but he does not talk back.” A grade 4 boy, very cute looking, everything normal, why then did he feel so alone. On further questioning , I learnt that he felt everyone was jealous of him because he looked good and was smart and very good in his studies. What shocked me even more was, these thoughts were fed to him by none other than his mother. There are many such cases I can share where young adults carry an impression of themselves based on what they have been hearing all through their growing years. We need to un condition the mind and un learn facts about ourselves. It is all in the mind. Once we break the barriers created by the mind, we open up a world of opportunities for ourselves.

If ever we tune in to the tape recorder of our mind, we find scores of childhood messages which have actually shaped up our values and beliefs about self and society. Surprisingly, it is these messages that become the foundation of how we receive other messages as adults.  In the case of the above example, any compliments received by him will always be perceived as flattery and his mind will send out warnings of “beware ulterior motive.” Thus, his response or reaction will be more defensive and calculated. Mistrust can hamper personal and professional relationships. This can lead to emotional stress which if not taken care of in turn leads to stress related diseases. A bright, smart young mind, capable of achieving more than one can realize, is wasted in unnecessary, imaginary thoughts, blocking one’s own path to success.

How do we tackle it? Follow these simple steps

1] Keep aside 10 minutes daily just for yourself.

2] Sit in a relaxed position, take a few deep breaths and relax.

3] Watch the thoughts that cross the mind. Just watch, do not get carried away by a single thought.

4] Focus on the one thought or message the mind is sending out to you which you wish to change.

5] As an example, the mind says, “ Aha! Trying something new. Let me see, how many days?.”

6] Continue with your deep breathing and keep repeating loudly and firmly – “ I can do it and I will do it.” 

7] Once the mind understands that you are serious, it will prompt another message.

8] Idea is to rephrase every negative thought thrown at you by the mind, rephrase into a positive thought.

Sow only those seeds of thought in your mind, the fruits of which you would like to enjoy. Playing games is healthy but mind games, be alert and aware.

-      Arpita Ghosh , Life Coach and Soft Skill Trainer

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