Mind Control, Getting on with Barry in IT and a Swing-o-Meter.

Not quite Jedi mind control, but some times it feels like it.

I so want to talk to you about POV. Point of View. Perceptual Positioning, or to put it simply, more effective communication with others and how to get them to do what you want them to do.

I want to just take you back to an old swing-o-meter. I don’t know if you remember those?They appear on TV when there are general elections, electronics and graphics these days. They are used to show how the country was voting, a 6% swing to the Tories or a 5% swing to labour.

Pre graphics days, a little arrow would swing across in one direction or another, from bad to good, good to bad whichever upon your view of politics.

 I want you to bear in mind the swing-o-meter and I'm going to take you through a little scenario.

Imagine you are in a position to buy a new car and you visit your local showroom.

Unknown to you, the car salesman has been instructed by his boss that nobody can buy a car and less if taken it for a test drive.

This, on the face of it, this is a fairly good idea or at least a reasonable one.

You arrive on the on the forecourt and their salesmen approaches you and engages you in a conversation, during this he says, 

“I can't sell you the car unless you take it for a test drive”.

What would your reaction be?

If that was me, he was talking to, instantly my hackles would go up.

I'd be thinking, if not saying, why am I being imposed on? Why are you telling me your rules for me buying the car?

If I want to buy a car without having a test drive, I bleep bleep will.

The words he has used, with the best intentions, has wound me up, I would feel not aligned with me, he’s not on my side, he's just telling me what the rule is and to be honest, I'll probably go somewhere else.

If the Swing o Meter has “Poor communication” on one side and “Great communication” on the other, his choice of words would have the needle moving towards the "Poor" end.

How could he improve?

May be if he said something like. “You really ought to come for a test drive before you commit to buying a car like this,” or, “you really want to come for a test drive before buying the car”.

The reaction of the needle of the swing-o-meter goes back to the middle. His choice of words is more sympathetic, it’s a suggestion not a rule.

 It's neither good nor bad. He's of thinking of me a little bit.

 I wouldn’t get upset with him. I think he was probably yes, probably right. I might go with him on might not if I didn't want to test drive.

The salesman’s POV. Point of Views got better. He is more aligned with me and my response is more favourable.

Could he do even better?

A better choice of words, to get the needle of the swing o meter to move to the great side, the salesman could say something like.

“In order for you to be really happy and confident with the car, can I suggest that we go for a test drive”.

Much better POV.

He started to come on to my side, he started talking about my feelings and what I want.

I want to be happy and confident in the car, then he's suggested we go for a test drive which in this context seems totally reasonable.

I am much more likely to go? Yes.

 I do want to feel happy and confident about buying a car? Yes.

His words make sense, the words are logically ordered and put my feelings first.

 I feel quite good about it. I started to think he's on my side, I start to think he wants me to be happy and confident rather than he’s a self-interested bleep, who is trying to impose his rules upon me.

The POV clash!

You know that person from accounts that you can’t speak to?

The idiot in I.T. who’s not on the planet?

The Boss, or Director you just can’t get on with? Well may be try a little POV on them.

Start with your words with “In order to …. could we …. Try to stand alongside (metaphorically speaking) them rather than directly in front of them.  You never know, it might just stop the head banging between people and departments.

The words we use are critically important. Remember, put the benefit of doing an action before the request to do it. I love “in order to” it starts the sentence off in the right way.

 in order to get the benefit, the feelings that I want, we need to take this action.

It is said that Motivation is the Art of getting other people to do what you want them to do, because they want to do it!

If people can see the benefits of taking an action, they are much more likely to do it.

Better POV, Better words, Better relationships.

May the Force be with You.