Millennium moms do the balancing act

Last year during the pandemic, I remember having an interesting conversation with my mother who saw me cooking while attending a Zoom meeting. She asked me how do you make sure there is no ‘surround sound’ when you unmute and speak. I told her I have learnt the art of timing what to say with the pressure cooker whistle. After all, desperate times call for desperate measures!

As a ‘70s kid, I remember growing up managing school, play time, personal hobbies while helping with household chores (a fairly standard expectation from most kids those days). Since there were no 10 minute grocery deliveries, we were also the default for any last minute ‘Run and get this now’ requests. This childhood grounding has actually stood me in good stead whenever life has thrown unexpected curve balls, like the current pandemic. With increased household work, children at home, parents to take care of, challenging work schedules and health concerns, it's been a roller-coaster to say the least.?

So is there a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or a cheat sheet to help millennial moms figure it out??

Here’s mine (In an ABCD format no less!) for multitasking, time-pressed moms:?

Ask for help: You know what? It's perfectly ok to ask for help. Also working moms are not ‘superwomen’ - just women who do more and have to multitask out of necessity. Just write this somewhere and reinforce everyday that asking for help does not make us any less competent. I learnt this early on, when one memorable day I had to pitch for a project with no babysitting help and a screaming toddler. My friend saw me having a mini panic attack and just offered to take care of my kid (who surprisingly decided to be at his best behavior, while he was with my pal) while I attended the meeting. As they say it takes a village to bring up a child. Please unabashedly ask for help. Have family, friends, folks who can cook and deliver food on speed dial and also remember to pay it forward!?????

Bless the mess: I remember meeting a pal who had recently become a mom. She was an ace professional, and a very talented painter, whose house always looked perfect. Post motherhood, she was struggling with baby duties, unable to find time for herself and going to pieces with the ‘mess in the house.’ I remember telling her, just pick three things from your long list of priorities to get through the first few months of motherhood. That is something I always fallback on when pressed with multiple competing responsibilities. Stack rank what is critical and just focus on it. Sometimes it is really hard to let go of the perfectionist streak, but it helps prevent a burn out and is totally worth it in the long run.??

Chicken soup for the soul: ‘’I had a terrible childhood because my mom went to a pottery class three times a week’’ - Said no child ever! As moms we ignore and forget our need to unwind and relax. Steal some time to do whatever makes you happy, with people who make you happy. Could be a solitary or group activity and trust me your family will thank you for it.?

Don’t undersell yourself: I remember one memorable conversation a few years back, on the very first day of a new job. My hiring manager told me besides being ‘good and clearly better suited’ than the rest of the candidates, I was also the one who negotiated her salary the worst! Whether we are working from home, working from the office, working in a? hybrid mode or part-time, we have to stop selling ourselves short. We also need to stop feeling guilty about leaving slightly early to beat the traffic because we compensate for this in a million different ways. From no coffee and smoke breaks to working on weekends, getting up at the crack of dawn to manage work deadlines with mommy duties.?

And for those of us still in need of some inspiration, here’s Michelle Obama,’’ For me, being a mother made me a better professional, because coming home every night to my girls reminded me what I was working for. And being a professional made me a better mother, because by pursuing my dreams, I was modeling for my girls how to pursue their dreams.” –???