Millennials Are Not the Pioneers of Entitlement, We Are

I recall that I watched this particular video by Simon Sinek on "The Millennial Question" over 2 and half years ago - it was forwarded by someone within a very small quartet Whatsapp group - and I inadvertently sparked off a debate with my response to that share. I completely agreed with Sinek's observations about millennial entitlement, and their total inability to cope with the rigors of corporate life due to lack of focus. Sinek had also pointed out that the rise in suicides and depression also stemmed from lack of purpose as well as the entitled upbringing of the millennials. I pointed that Sinek spoke with compassion, nevertheless it was a feeling I was unable to relate to - then.

Watch: The Millennial Question by Simon Sinek

I remember when I made these statements and the person who shared the video concurred with me, basis our individual professional and personal interactions with millennials - there was one lady in her mid-50's in that group, a friend and well wisher who vociferously countered Sinek's arguments with her own - among the things she put out, this part stood out. She said, "Millennials seek purpose and impact, and reject rigid corporate politics and hierarchy". The fourth person in the group remained silent, and for obvious reasons - the lady was his spouse and we - the other two - his friends. He just didn't offer any comment or take sides. Wise man, in retrospect :)

I am not sure if the debate resulted in any grief among us, or perhaps it did very briefly. But, on a serious note, when I reflect on that video, which incidentally got re-forwarded to me by a friend just yesterday, and I happened to watch it once more - I connected the dots a little differently this time.

It would serve well for many of us who are now slightly over and above the millennial "age group" to do some soul searching. Aren't we the pioneer generation of entitlement? Let me explain where I am coming from. I was an urban teenager in the 1990s, growing up in a fast changing India - during those times, most of us were part of 2-kid families - most middle class families had begun to raise daughters almost like sons - and many girls had entered professional courses just like their male counterparts. Girls had long entered the workforce as a matter of right. And importantly, children, irrespective of gender, were being moderately indulged by parents - we were gaining access to privileges that generations prior to us really did not enjoy. In short, we were first generation "entitled" folks. All the after effects of the pioneer entitlement spilled over into my early work life and impacted it adversely - it took a long journey to realize the hard lessons of life, and shape into the person that I believe I am today.

And so, by what standard of judgement today can we assume a holier-than-thou stance towards younger people when it is us, the pioneers who have been raising these so-called "entitled" Gen Z'ers? Going by the law of nature, every successive generation is different from the previous - and so, if we were entitled, then our children are only going to be more entitled; there are no two ways about it.

Cut to the present: My career in a large tech media house has allowed huge interactions with millennials and I realized while the entitlement part is quite true in some cases, it was never overtly on display by most of the youngsters I interacted with - I was perhaps fortunate in this matter. I have tried with varying degrees of success and failure to guide and mentor.

Some of my observations here:

• We are living in a world where we lack role models. All of us are looking for emotional, social and spiritual nourishment. So, it is all the more imperative for older people to show young people direction when they can. Let us stop being in denial of our age and stature - and stop being part of the new age BS of "being young at heart" - the idea behind being young at heart is much larger than merely trying to look young, and acting narcissistic and childish. It is about being agile, energetic and gracious enough to realize the changes sweeping across our world and how we can contribute to a better world - and that includes in a large sense to being valuable mentors and guides. If parents and eventually teachers, leaders are not going to play that role, then who will?
• It is time for older people in responsible positions to call out the toxic man-eats-man culture that is all pervading. Families and then eventually, organizations are perpetrating a very outdated toxicity that millennials totally reject. They are intelligent, digital native with access to information and services at the click of a button. They can see through the narrative and cliches in a heartbeat.

The lady who argued this case over our Whatsapp debate was right - she got this one absolutely right. Unlike the previous generations, millennials resent office hierarchies and corporate politics like never before. While their friendships and kinsman-ship tend to look shallow, they definitely bond better and co-opt better than older generations. They are really not into pulling the rug under each other's feet - as a result they often find themselves perplexed by organizational dynamics. At this stage, it is a combined call-to-action for family and corporate systems to not compel these young people to conform to toxicity but to give direction and help them sift between entitlement, growth, purpose, professionalism and commitment. All they need is direction - and hey, we will have tons of these young people making valuable contributions to the world. It takes selfless or simple visionary leadership at any level to catalyze these changes. Instead of competing and coercing, we would do well to harness their skills and intelligence to foster and nurture

While we may seek refuge in theorizing on "Why should we be responsible for some lazy, unfocused, entitled kid who walks into our office?" - I did this too for a while - let us step back to remember that each of us is raising one such kid back in our own homes and we are for the best part in denial of the truth, claiming we are doing a great job. We are in many ways perpetuating a loop culture further into the next generation. Somewhere there has to be a start to stop. And that calls for conscious rebuilding of our own approach before anything else. And this, I figured was precisely what Sinek was trying to drill into his audience at some point in the video as well. It is time to shed our collective amnesia about our own past.

If you have any comment or questions around this, feel free to reach out to me on LinkedIn or on [email protected]