Milestones & Moments Military Parents Might Miss
Think about your life or your child's life. What do you remember? Holidays and birthdays, celebrating as a family. Baby pictures and videos, with parents smiling as the little one takes first steps or shows a new skill. Graduations and games, with Mom and Dad cheering.
For military kids, those same big milestones and moments might look a little different. And it all starts from the moment they are born.
Milestones & Moments Military Parents Might Miss
Military kids are used to living life on the go, moving every few years and essentially starting over. New house, new friends, new school. Most people know about these challenges.
The bigger issue is that military kids are often living life with one parent missing due to deployments, training, and work schedules.
Birth via Skype
Right from their first breath, military kids might be connecting with a parent via video conferencing. Many military children are born during deployments or while one parent is out on a training mission.
These first important moments are shared over the internet and captured in photos or on video. But nothing can replace the time that parents have missed, right from the start.
First Year Milestones & Memories
For military families with infants, it’s almost inevitable that one parent will miss at least a few important milestones. From those first little coos to early steps or even the first birthday celebration, one parent might be catching those moments after the fact with pictures or videos.
This is especially true for active duty troops. Their training and deployment schedules often mean that they are constantly in and out of their “home” duty station. The trickle down effect is that during the busy first year of life, they might be called away to complete a mission - missing some of those sweet memories.
Birthday Celebrations
Missing birthday parties and celebrations doesn’t stop after the first year. Many military kids joke that they get two parties: one when both parents are home, either before or after their actual birthday, and another one on their actual birthday.
Military parents must answer the call of duty, even if their child is celebrating a birthday.
School Year Milestones
From the very first day of school to graduation, it’s not a guarantee that military parents will be there for their kids.
Many parents end up missing big events, like sending their child off to the first day of kindergarten or parent-teacher conferences. Some might even miss graduations! Sure, there are always those very sweet “surprise” homecomings at crucial moments, but those are the exception and not the rule.
Military troops can’t skip a training mission or deployment just because a major school milestone is coming up.
Sports, Dance & Other Memories Missed
Many MilKids might be used to having just one parent cheering in the stands. Due to trainings and deployments, troops often miss the big games, recitals, and awards ceremonies.
At these crucial moments, it can be challenging for military kids to see just one parent in the stands or in the audience. It hurts to know that work sometimes comes before family, especially for children.
Solo Parenting for MilSpouses
The high operational tempo, especially over the last 18 years, has left many military spouses operating like single parents - even though they are married. When one partner is gone frequently, military spouses on the homefront shoulder the bulk of parenting duties. They are also making sure to document and record all of the moments and milestones that their military partner might be missing.
This can feel overwhelming and challenging. It’s hard to be “on” as a parent 100% of the time, while also juggling the unknowns of a combat deployment or the stress of constant military-related changes!
How You Can Help MilKids & MilFams
- Send a Bear Hug from KOAH! When you donate your time or resources to fill a Hug box, you’re sending tangible love to a military child with a deployed parent. Receiving a Hug from KOAH (and you) can help to make a tough time a little easier!
- Offer to be a supporter. Show up to events with the at-home parent, cheer on a child. Seeing another consistent and friendly face can make it easier for a military child missing their parent.
- Volunteer your time or services. Do you love photography or take great videos? Contact your local hospitals and schools. Offer to provide free or heavily discounted services, capturing important milestones and moments, like birth photography or sports action shots. Then share these photos with the families!
- Carpool or swap duties. If you have a military neighbor that’s constantly on the go, offer to carpool. Take all the kids to school or sports one day, swapping duties the next day. This can give that parent a moment to breathe and collect their thoughts.
- Spread love at on-base events. Military units host many special events throughout the year, like pre-deployment gatherings and holiday parties. Offer to volunteer or join one of KOAH’s many events!