The "MIDLIFE CRISIS" of a social impact professional

All of us who are working/associated with the social sector are anchored towards different motivations - from serving the underprivileged to fulfilling altruistic endeavors to doing meaningful work to solving personal pain points. It was our passion to change, to create a difference in people's lives, and attitude to challenge the status quo that led us to join the sector in the first place. But does this passion continue for a longer time? Has the bubble ever got deflated? Have you ever felt that it is suddenly making not enough sense as you thought it would be? If you are a mid-career social impact professional and are engaging with these questions, this article is for you. In this article I have tried to share my perspective on our relationship with meaning-making in this sector and how does it evolve.

In the spectrum of passion, we all exist: In our career time, we dwell between the realms of romanticism, hopefulness, optimism, neutrality, and cynicism. Post my activism days at Jadavpur University, I had joined the Gandhi fellowship to work with the rural and tribal communities of Rajasthan. I had no clue what the work was, but was romanticized by the idea of staying in villages (4 times in 2 years) without any money! The adrenaline rush was to explore "Bharat", move out of my comfort zone and serve children to provide opportunities for quality education. Initially, it was overwhelming, but soon I can see and feel the joy in the faces of children and parents I used to work with. I felt proud of my actions and choices for the first time in my life.

Post that I continued my stint in the sector with a leading non-profit (Piramal Foundation) with a focus on systems strengthening towards improving quality of education outcomes in Aspirational districts. It again felt meaningful to positively impact the lives of people who faced adverse challenges growing up in these districts and lack basic opportunities to thrive in life. In many of the aspirational districts, the schools are washed away due to floods, the mid-day meal is the only meal that children eat in a day and girls are getting married at the age of 15. It felt heartwarming to see the hope in people's eyes, as the system started rallying behind the vision of the Prime Minister and the NITI Aayog - improving human development indicators of 117 most backward districts in the country.

At the same time, I was getting far from the ground, enabling implementation teams with strategic support and supporting the organizational leadership in conceptualizing and driving this large-scale initiative. The role gave me a holistic sense of the "mechanics" of development, from fundraising to managing government/board's expectations to meandering politics of change. I could sense, the idealist in me was slowly passing the baton to the newborn pragmatist and me slipping from the optimistic zone to the neutral zone.

It is perfectly fine if you feel cynical at times: Do we really impact people's lives or we are just playing with the data to serve our cause? Will the NGOs close down if the social problems are ever solved? Will poverty ever go away? Is sustainability a myth? Does professionalism in the sector come at the cost of courage? Is this what I had signed up for - to dance to the whims of capitalists? If you are facing these questions and not able to bring the same enthusiasm to work that you used to, you are not the only one, you are dwelling in the cynicism zone. It is perfectly okay to feel cynical about the cause, the sector, and the cost of development.

You are feeling cynical because you care, your intent is in the right place, you are in search of meaning and you are just tired of the status quo. It happened with the best of the athletes, bravest of the freedom fighters, and sternest of the faithful followers. It is natural and please do not resist it. I now work with a social impact advisory firm (Sattva consulting), where we work in the triangle of people, purpose, and profit and collaborate with Non-profits, CSRs, Foundations, and Governments to deliver impact. Here, some of these questions are part of everyday routine, during team discussions, lunch-side chat, and smoking breaks. The upside is, it helps you to be in a learning zone, in realms of discovery, stopping you to become the part of the system that you wished to change once. The downside is, it can also negatively affect your motivation to contribute, drive to perform every day, and optimism for change.

This is what I call the midlife crisis of a social impact professional - where the hope is dripping out, passion has plateaued and visibility of purpose has blurred.

Like all Mid-life crises, we need to put effort to come out of it: In the quest for meaning-making, stagnation and boredom are bound to come. It is upon us to deal with it, not to prove a point to anyone but to find the inner harmony that can go for a toss during these chaotic times where existence even becomes a question. Three ways in which I have been able to meander my mid-life crisis as a social impact professional:

• Delinking every day's motivation to long-term purpose: While this may seem a bit counterintuitive, I have often seen this strategy to de-risk future disappointment. While you can enter a flux in figuring out your purpose in critical junctures of your life, you can still find the everyday motivation to continue coming to work. In my case, it has been my amazing co-workers, the subject of the project (currently its social-emotional learning), and the satisfaction to solve a new problem every day.
• Sound boarding to find the right balance between head and heart: Trying to solve some of these questions on your own can lead you to analysis paralysis (e.g. moving in circles), reach extreme conclusions (e.g. I should not continue with this sector), and develop impostor syndrome (e.g. maybe I did something wrong in the way). It has always helped me to soundboard some of these questions with people who have either crossed this phase or are in the same, to evolve objectively and find the right balance between the head (starting to rationalize emotions) and the heart (getting emotionally overwhelmed).
• Grounding periodically with people whom we serve:?As we move up the professional hierarchy, there is a greater likelihood of us being far from the ground, barring frequent interactions with the stakeholders that we serve. Given this understanding, I have tried to visit the field as much as possible, speak with stakeholders directly to get a sense of the work I do, and draw inspiration from the fabulous work of partners. The grounding has provided me with much-needed humility, move out of echo chambers and evolve from being an armchair solutionist.

We need to gear our mindsets towards the"infinite game": As Simon Sinek has tried to argue in his book, finite games are played by known players, they have fixed rules and there is an agreed-upon objective that when reached ends the game. Infinite games, in contrast, are played by known and unknown players, there are no exact or agreed-upon rules and there is no such concept as winning. More and more I am realizing, the social sector problems require an "infinite mindset" as the problems are wicked, there is no linear solution and the nature of the problem evolves each passing year. Taking an example from the education sector - it took a decade to solve the access to school problem and then bring back the system's focus on the quality of learning. Teachers were prepared to deliver classroom instructions assuming schools would never be closed and children would come to schools. COVID has altered the scenario completely, the past training seemed to have minimal relevance, the system had to adjust to new virtual realities and have to start again from scratch (from bringing back children to school and solving for learning loss). Agility and adaptability seem to be the backbone of 21st-century leadership and therefore solving social sector problems would require a mindset to run a marathon and not a sprint.

Plotting yourself in the journey, acknowledging the questions, and setting the right expectations can help you meander the midlife crisis objectively. Looking forward to chatting with anybody who is experiencing the same phase and challenges!