MIDDLE KINGDOM - CHAPTER 1, Part 1

CHAPTER 1

HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

-Shanghai-

By every possible standard Fai was a loser. He had failed high school, had no friends and lived on his mother’s sofa. He had also failed to find any meaning in society or keep a job. He lived for the arcade, located just two streets from his sofa bed. Here, despite being a young man now, is where he found some form of peace. Fai could spend hours there, away from his mother, step father and the real world. His good looks were squandered with a solemn, semi depressed attitude. His fashion sense showed the rest of the world he had given up.

Walking home one night he passed through the landscape of Shanghai. It was a metropolis, the clash of bright skyscrapers merging with crowds of excited people were enough to induce a panic attack. Fai was dull to this sensory overload.

Walking back he seemed unaffected by both the setting and his future. He was on his way back from the arcade, having spent what little leftover money he had in his pocket. As his feet scuffed the pavement he thought to himself,

“What is the point in going on?”

This thought crossed his mind most days. His attitude growing up had always been optimistic, full of ambition and big dreams. He remembered everyone used to say there was something special about him… but those days were long gone. Fai blamed his father’s disappearance for his lack of success. After his ‘bàba’ vanished one day, Fai had become a recluse, choosing to isolate himself from the world.

In doing so he was dragged by his mother through Shanghai’s social housing projects. His option was to go with her or face being homeless. Sometimes Fai wondered about life as a homeless young man, in many ways it was more appealling than his current life.

It was not until Fai’s mother settled with her new husband, who would become Fai’s step father, that he felt at last all hope was lost. Their temporary, turned permanent home, was located on the top floor of a huge tower block. It had been built in the 1980’s and was now starting to fall into disrepair. The ceilings had mold, the staircases had vegetation. Fai did not mind this. Fungi, weeds and roots grew through the floors of the top floors. It provided him some comfort watching nature reclaim this place he hated so much.

At night it also reminded him of the dystopian, derelict warehouses from his fantasy games. Capable of making the best of things Fai would keep trudging along, day by day, likening the world around him to the games in the arcade. Many of the walls along the communal hallways still bore the markings of Triad graffiti. This was one of the few features he could not twist in his imagination. For the longest of times Fai had thought they were the cause for his father vanishing.

Often, he would fantasize about how his life could be, or how it would have been, if he was born in a different era. The thought of mystery, danger and adventure, and not the practical elements to get his life moving in the right direction, were what kept him up at night.

Tracing his hand along the wall and an elongated graffiti marking he thought,

“If these gangsters were still around I’d probably join them and try to find my father... or I would become a policeman and investigate their activities.”

Yesterday he had thought about a similar scenario. In fact he had thought the same thing every time he walked up these same damn stairs. His grandmother had told him long ago his parents came to Shanghai as part of a much larger rural community. The policy of the time encouraged young families to come to the city. The promise of work in the businesses and factories was largely successful, just not for Fai or his family.

The first home in which they had moved was just across the road, in the adjacent tower block. As China’s economic boom and development occurred these two mega-structures somehow remained the same. With no investment and no upkeep, the only thing to change was the people. The structures had once been home to the hard workers of the past, now they housed the misfortunates and unlucky.

Fai had left school almost one year ago. He could not find the energy to continue or try and gain a place at university. Competition was fierce, but rather than surround himself with other losers, he decided to make himself even more of a loner. At the back of his mind he had been eliminating all ties and reason to stay in Shanghai. He had subconsciously been freeing himself of all reason to stay.

Normally the highlight of Fai’s day was walking the city in the evening. Even this now felt dull, inspiring no new feeling. He had exhausted all the districts and had nowhere new to walk, nor any money to do anything else.

As he reached the top floor, Fai had been unable to get the idea of destiny from his mind. Despite his own diagnosis that his spirit had died, he could not help but think he was destined for something better. As he pulled the house key from his pocket the last words from his father filled his mind,

“Fai, there is no greater sin than wasting your potential.”

As he pushed the door open to the sound of chaos, it suddenly became clear. He was not only dishonoring his father and his advice, but also wasting his youth. As Fai avoided his aggressive mother and their alcoholic neighbor, both who had been at the table drinking, he came up with a plan.

Fai did not eat, drink, or leave the balcony until everyone had gone to bed. The next morning he changed his routine for the first time in years. He woke before everyone, including the usual alarm consisting of overpowering cigarette smoke, a screaming infant and then a line of insults from his mother.

This usually went on until he climbed off the sofa, the only spare space to sleep, and make breakfast. After this his first thoughts of the day were typically,

“I hate my life.”

Today was different. The early morning had started out with no notable differences, the sound of commuting traffic echoing through the building from the street below. But instead of being groggy and half asleep, Fai sat upright. He had not changed his position for the last few hours and appeared to be looking off into the distance. He felt energized. His heart thumped and his thoughts were clear. All of this was unusual after a night in the stuffy apartment on the sofa. Yet today, at approximately 4.30am he sat on the sofa fully dressed.

Fai could not stop thinking about the dream he had just woken up from. He was not sure if he was in fact asleep of if it was some kind of trance or vision. It replayed in his mind, becoming sharper and clearer the more he thought about it.

As Fai’s mother came into the room with a cigarette hanging from her lips, she nearly fell over. Shocked to see him sat there staring at the wall the dream rapidly escaped his mind. Despite looking as if his mind was a million miles away her insults very quickly bought him back to reality.

“You can’t even wake up like a normal young man.”

She tutted as she said it, pouring herself a shot of Baiju in the kitchen. Fai ignored the comment, trying to remember the dream which seemed to slip from his mind. His mother kept one eye on him, looking at him with contempt. After a few sips the cynical and malicious insults began, waking up Fai’s infant brother. Fai knew this was coming and prepared himself mentally. As his younger brother woke up and began to scream Fai remained quiet as his mother asked,

“What are you doing up so early?”

Knowing that whatever answer he said would not be good enough for her, he kept his mouth firmly closed. Her voice and insults grated, yet Fai blocked her from his mind as he pulled his coat from the chair. Taking a cigarette from the pocket he walked toward the door. As one hand put a cigarette in his mouth, the other hand ruffled his young brothers hair.

Seeing this unusual response and affectionate gesture, his mother edged closer, raising her hand as if to slap him. Before she could bring her arm down Fai was half way down the outside corridor. He was walking quickly, the unlit cigarette still in his mouth. His eyes did not once look bach at her or at the graffiti on the walls.

Fai’s heart was thumping. His mind was clear, not on the consequences of his early morning escape, but on where the day would take him. He knew there would be no punishment tonight as he was never coming back.

Concentrating on the sound of his feet he reached the bottom floor of the building. His feet slapped through the puddles of the staircase. He could hear his mother shouting from above, her voice echoing down the stairwell.

“Where do you think you are going?”

“You have not even started your chores you useless boy…”

Fai was not upset, but he knew it would be the last time he ever heard her voice. The last words ringing down from the top floor were,

“At least bring me back some Baiju!”

Entering into the street below Fai swapped the cracked, weed filled floors for relatively new cement. He was also met with bright sunshine, which somehow managed to avoid entering his old home. The eerie silence and his mother’s shouting from the staircase was replaced with the sound of the city.

It was ferocious, despite it still being early morning. Commuter cars whizzed by, the nearby construction site erupted in huge ‘crashes’. Fai zoned out until all he could hear was the melodic hum of the heavy machinery. Heading toward the noise Fai pulled a lighter from his other pocket, lighting the cigarette in his mouth.

In the same pocket as the lighter was an old mobile phone. Carrying it in his hand he went to sit at his usual spot, a metallic bench overlooking the red earth of the construction site. The builders below were laying the foundations for another new skyscraper. As he watched a small group of workers undertake their morning brief, he punched a memorized number into the phone.

The old buildings of his neighborhood were a stark contrast to the skeleton developments of these new luxury apartments. As Fai seemed to examine the cities progress a voice at the other end of the phone shouted into his ear.

“FAI!”

Momentarily he moved the phone away from his ear. Looking down at the screen the number had come up as a recognized contact, “Nai Nai”.

Fai spoke into the phone, playing with the spilt sand by his feet,

“Grandmother?”

The answer was inaudible among the sounds of the construction site. The line was active as the crisp voice of an enthusiastic grandmother suddenly shouted back.

Fai continued,

“Good morning, sorry to bother you so early.

I am going away for a while, please keep an eye on my brother and continue to bring him snacks…”

As Fai sat and listened the elderly voice on the phone fell silent. His heart began to thump even faster, not from the nicotine in the cigarette but from anticipation. His Grandmother seemed to understand what he was saying. She ended the call with a distinctly, and uncharacteristically clear sentence,

“Take good care of yourself young man.”

As the line went silent Fai slid the back off the phone, peeling the whole back from the case entirely.

He took the sim card from inside, snapping it in half. He threw it in the trash can next to him, taking his wallet out of his other pocket at the same time. Emptying it of cash, Fai pushed the few notes in his trouser pocket. Placing the worn, empty wallet on top of the broken sim card in the trash can he was now off the grid.

Strangely it felt amazing knowing he was now unable to be contacted by anyone from his past. With just a handful of notes he felt both liberated and excited, two feelings he had not felt in a long time.

Walking deeper into Shanghai Fai really began to wonder where the day would take him. His first point of call would be to buy some lunch and a bottle of water. The heat from the Sun was strong, the air was dry, filled with the dust of new construction sites.

Fai walked quickly to the shopping mall. Not one of the modern shopping center's but an underground mall, known for it’s bargains. It had several floors, but was far from luxurious. Most of the stalls were underground. Every floor was completely unique, but all managed to somehow lead to the coach station. The coach station was the perfect blend of modern China. It fused Soviet like architecture with Chinese flair. It was as old as the modern nation itself, with market vendors weaving their way in between buses. From here you could reach any part of the country, as long as you were willing to tolerate the time and bumpy roads.

But for now Fai was still on the other side of the building. Fai’s favorite dumpling stall was also tucked away, just one floor up from the colossal underground fish market. Often he found himself having lunch here, spending what little money he had after success in the arcade.

As he walked through the malls entrance he was immediately sweating. Outside was hot, but the crowds and lack of air conditioning led to dangerous humidity.

Always observant, Fai noticed an unusually beautiful women around his age. She was walking toward him. For a few seconds their eyes locked and for a moment his mind went blank. Even in situations like this Fai found himself getting flustered. He was shy, but this situation was close to inducing a panic attack. As the young lady looked back she smiled, not with her mouth but with her eyes. As the two crossed paths a lone shopkeeper watched them. He could not help the side of his mouth twitching into a smile as Fai passed her.

Unable to control himself, Fai could not help but stare. The girl had a fascinating face, her eyes were fierce but softened as she seemed to notice Fai’s stare. His palms became wet with sweat. He used all his concentration to avoid tripping over. Little did both of them know they would remember this brief moment for the rest of their lives. He walked past, looked back, and Fai saw the young ladies head had sunken as his mind began to whirl,

“What would she do if I asked her to join me for some dumplings?” Fai thought to himself.

It was too late. Even if he could make her out in the now large crowds of people, he did not have the confidence to ask. Even thinking about asking a tight ball formed in his throat. His stomach turned to jelly as he looked back once again, only to see she had turned back too, as if anticipating a question.

Their eyes locked once more, she half smiled, half blushed, as if inviting him to come and say hello. Wiping his sweaty hands on his trousers Fai panicked. He looked back into her eyes and spluttered, sending spit down his chin.

She turned away quickly as if to be polite and pretend she did not see the incident. Fai had blown it and he knew it. He turned and walked quickly in the opposite direction. Even walking away now, he knew he could not let this embarrassment destroy his momentum today, so he tried to forget about it as quickly as possible.

He reached his favorite dumpling stall by himself and in record time. Buying a bottle of water he sat and waited, watching the shoppers pass.

After destroying a quick bowl of dumplings Fai took a casual stroll around the shops. Despite going in the opposite direction of the coach station, he somehow found himself there. Looking out over the rows of buses behind the sun filled doors his mind clocked the time. Somehow the day had almost passed. The afternoon sunshine was bright, the sun having reached the highest point in the sky, which from this angle meant it was later afternoon.

It’s shimmer made the tarmac bright, emitting a slight glow across the coach park. Between the buses lines of people waited in the shade. Some where there to buy their fares, some there to travel, some to hustle.

Walking toward the nearest red bus Fai thought to himself,

“Why not?”

Counting his change he joined the line of people preparing to board. On the side of the vehicle the symbol read ‘Altai’.

“Was this the brand or the destination?” Fai had no idea. His leg began to shake as he bought the ticket from the conductor. Half of him thought,

“What have I really got to lose?” and the other half thought, “Where am I going?”

The bus conductor took the last of his notes, saying in a wise voice,

“It’s enough for a single.”

Fai nodded looking back at him. The conductor was a rather fat man, but also young. It appeared his authority, at least in the line for his bus, seemed absolute.

Fai’s mind was still split on what he had to lose and where should he go. Rather than wait for a reaction the conductor opened Fai’s tightly clenched hand, pushing his change of three coins into his palm. Moving onto the next customer Fai was once again lost in thought. As the line shuffled forward a voice behind him whispered in his ear,

“Surrender to the universe…”

The corner of his eye caught a glimpse of something vibrant and bright orange. Turning to look back, Fai’s attention was quickly drawn to the voice. It had come from someone just beneath him. As he looked down he saw an old man with a hunched back. His hunched back set him at a crooked angle and shielded the majority of his face. He was half the height of those around and had snuck into the line to beg for change.

Fai was one of the last passengers to board the coach. Wondering what this old beggar meant by his words, he looked down at him. Rather than repeat his first message the beggar looked up, saying,

“Please, please, your change?”

Without a second thought Fai handed over the last of his coins, dropping them into the beggars outstretched hand. The old man lifted his head, causing himself what looked like great pain, but to show his gratitude he smiled up at Fai. His toothless gum filled mouth was covered in a long goatee. His eyes showed sincerity.

Fai climbed aboard the bus without another thought. The last passenger had gotten on just behind him as the doors closed shut. The old beggar continued to stare as Fai nudged and squeezed his way to the back row.

As the engine came to life Fai looked out the window. Shanghai looked magnificent in the afternoon sunshine. It’s famous skyline visible from the back window where he sat.

Continues in the article - MIDDLE KINGDOM - CHAPTER 1, Part 2 -

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