Microaggressions are hurting your team’s effectiveness

Welcome to Lead With Inclusion! This weekly newsletter is a resource for EVERY professional. Whether you’re a manager ready to be a more inclusive leader, or an employee ready to be a DEI champion in your workplace, inclusive actions lead to inclusive outcomes. Leading with inclusion simply means starting with inclusive actions in everything you do. It means identifying the areas where bias is at work, and shifting mindsets to make change.?

If you’re not sure where to begin, start here.

Microaggressions. They may sound small or insignificant—after all, "micro" is in the name, right? But these seemingly minor comments or actions, especially when compounded over time, can have a significant impact on the people who experience them.

It’s the everyday slights, snubs, or insults and comments that, intentionally or not, communicate hostile or derogatory messages to people based on their identity.

This brings me to a story that took me by surprise…

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I was on a call with a prospective client who wanted Rework Work to deliver a DEI training session. During our discussion, I suggested focusing on microaggressions. The client paused and then asked, "That sounds interesting. But what exactly are microaggressions?"

At first I was at an utter loss for words from disbelief. But then, I reminded myself: Concepts that are familiar to me might be entirely new to others—and that’s okay! Ignorance on any topic is not a personal failure; it’s a chance for growth. (Persistent ignorance when you have the chance to learn is an entirely different story.)

So I’m not criticizing anyone who doesn’t know what microaggressions are, but I am sharing ways for you to become a more inclusive ally and leader.

1. Do your research: People from marginalized communities—whether they are people of color, LGBTQ+ individuals, women, or people with disabilities—are the ones saddled with the job of educating others about their experiences and it can get exhausting. You can show true inclusive leadership by taking the initiative to learn on your own about, say, microaggressions, rather than relying on others to explain. It’s time to do your homework.
2. Understanding the definition of a microaggression isn’t enough: What matters isn't whether you know the textbook definition of a microaggression. What matters is that you acknowledge they exist, understand their harmful impact, and are committed to recognizing, interrupting, and avoiding them. (And if you’re unsure how to do this without knowing the definition, remember point #1.)

How you feel about microaggressions doesn’t change the reality that they harm people—your colleagues, friends, neighbors—regardless of what you think. The real question is: Do you care enough to learn, recognize their impact, and change your behavior?

Here’s the challenging part about doing the work of DEI: It’s not about you. It requires setting aside your ego, leaning into empathy, and focusing on the experiences of others.

Lead with Inclusion

So, how do you start addressing microaggressions in your workplace and in your own behavior? Here are three actionable steps:

Understand that your intentions aren't enough

In DEI work, we often say, "Intent doesn’t equal impact." This means that even if your intention was good, your words or actions can still cause harm. For example, consider how Black women often receive comments about their hair. You might think, "I was just complimenting her hair. What’s the problem?" The problem lies not in your intent but how the person felt given her experience with comments about her hair.

A comment becomes a microaggression when it's only directed at certain groups Do you also comment on—or worse, touch—your white or Asian colleagues' hairstyles? Seemingly neutral comments like "I didn’t expect your hair to look like that," or "I didn’t expect your hair to change" have subtext.?

The bottom line? The recipient determines whether a comment or action is a microaggression. The impact on them is what makes it a microaggression. So what can you do? Check your ego and notice when you only direct comments at certain groups. Other examples:

• Only asking for pronouns or sharing your own when you're around people who don’t conform to traditional/visible gender norms.
• Describing someone as “articulate” or “well-spoken” because they are Black, Latinx, Asian, or speak English as a second language.
• Asking mothers, but not fathers, about balancing work and childcare.
• Commenting on a person’s accent or food choices.

Test your perspective

Before you make a comment about someone’s appearance, accent, or behavior, ask yourself: “Would I say this to a person of a different race, gender, or background?” Kristen Pressner offers a powerful example of this in her TEDx talk, "Are you biased? I am." She shows how comments that might seem “innocent” can actually hold people back. These moments add up and contribute to a culture of exclusion. And if you’ve participated in one of my workshops, you’ve probably seen the clip I utilize to make my point.

Apologize and take responsibility If you realize something you said might have been hurtful, acknowledge it. You may come to this conclusion because you realize you wouldn't have made the same comment to a white colleague and it may in fact be a microaggression. While it might feel awkward, setting your pride aside is essential. Even if the person wasn’t hurt, demonstrating your awareness and commitment to doing better strengthens trust and allyship. For example, you might say, “I realized the comment I made earlier about your lunch might have come across as intrusive/offensive/rude/condescending (take your pick). I'm sorry. I’ll do better.”?

By taking the time to learn, reflect, and adjust your behavior, you contribute to a more inclusive and supportive environment for everyone. It’s not just about avoiding harm; it’s about actively promoting respect and dignity for all.

For further learning, our program Unconscious Inclusion: The Work Beyond the Workshop? unpacks different types of micromessages, including the aggressive ones. With practice opportunities like identifying microaggressions in pop culture, you’ll come away with a deeper understanding, empathy, and toolkit for addressing these harmful comments.?

As always, I’d love to hear from you: Have you found strategies that helped you recognize and address microaggressions that affect other people? How about those that affect you directly? Let’s share tips in the comments.

About Stacey Gordon:

Stacey Gordon is a Bias Disrupter and an unapologetic evangelist for inclusion. As the Founder of Rework Work , she anchors action using change management principles while facilitating mindset shifts. She is a global keynote speaker, Top Voice on LinkedIn and a popular LinkedIn Learning [IN]structor with nearly two million unique learners enjoying her courses.??

Want to work with Stacey live? Consider booking her for your next keynote, leadership development meeting or consulting engagement.