Micro-doses of Hope

Dear lovely Community,?

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend with your people. Thank you so much to my beautiful Wellbeing Prefects, Charlotte and Julian for their fabulous blog last week. I am very grateful to everyone who reached out with such gorgeous feedback! They will be back soon.?

Over the past few weeks, I have been talking to my classes and writing my blogs about Hope Theory. I have shared that I am a “high hoper” meaning that on the Adult Hope Scale, I am someone who scores highly in agency thinking (goal directed energy) and pathways thinking (planning to accomplish goals.) Quite simply, I am someone who perseveres and believes something good will come. However, as I have also mentioned before, being a high hoper does not immunise me from pain, fear and failure. Nothing can do that. In fact, along with being a high hoper I am also someone who deeply feels the pain of people and the world. I believe it is this understanding of the co-existence of strength and struggle that shapes who I am and brings meaning to my life.?

When I talk to students about hope, I am also talking about despair for they are inextricably linked. When we talk about happiness, we are also talking about sadness because one is not possible without the other. And when we talk about gratitude, we are also talking about grief, because both are inevitable.

For me, relationships are everything and while we are all destined to experience hope and despair, happiness and sadness, gratitude and grief, it is our relationships that are constant and bring purpose to our lives.?

When my first baby was born, and I held him in my arms the love was indescribable. A moment of complete, utter, whole-body joy that was bigger than the universe. And then I got to experience that moment again and again with the birth of my second and third baby boys. But my heart didn’t only beat for joy in those moments, it was simultaneously beating for all the other emotions and experiences I was signing up for…the despair, the sadness, the grief. All of it. I had signed up for it all.?

Without really knowing it at the time, my first moment of joy with my darling baby Jack led the way for all the sadness I have been dress rehearsing ever since. I grieved giving up breastfeeding before the moment arrived. I sobbed for his first day of Kindergarten before he started. And now my heart is breaking thinking about him graduating from high school next year. And all of this is ok…It’s the hope and despair, the happiness and sadness, the gratitude and grief that I signed up for.?

For some people dress rehearsing despair, sadness and grief steals their joy in this moment. But that has never been the case for me. As a “high hoper”, I am here for all the emotions and deeply appreciate the power of every single one of them, even the so-called negative ones. They all have a place in the process of finding hope.

Over the past few weeks, I have had many conversations with students about despair, sadness and grief. We have talked about exams, friendships and of course, global politics. My role is not to offer my views on the world, but to listen and support young people to shape their own ideas and identity. Some issues are big, and some are small, and sometimes hope feels out of reach. For me, I am old enough to know that the claustrophobic and isolating feelings of despair, sadness and grief will pass. And if they don’t pass, they find a new place in our hearts that doesn’t burn as much as it once did. But for young people, their worlds are so immediate and raw and big it can be hard for them to see a future beyond this moment. It can be hard for them to be hopeful.?

As humans, I truly believe that we sign up for it all. For me, being hopeful is my super strength, allowing me to move forward in times of despair. While there may be people who mistake my hope for toxic positivity, it is my hope that makes me strong, brave, resilient, kind, compassionate, caring, and loving. But it has taken me 44 years to know this. So, what can we tell our young people when they feel like hope is lost. We tell them to take it one step at a time.

Taking micro-doses of hope, when ‘big hope’ is not available to us, is the only way to take one step at a time. I must say, this weekend I didn’t really feel like being a ‘big hoper’ but I could manage taking it one step at a time. My micro-doses of hope this weekend included supporting Harry at his first ever swimming meet, watching Grand Designs and eating pasta with Charlie, enjoying Harry’s delicious baking (he makes the best choc-chip cookies!), cheering on Charlie and Jack at their rowing regatta and hearing all about Harry’s fabulous trip to the Christmas lights at Hunter Valley Gardens with his beautiful grandma and cousins. While all these things seem small and normal, it is exactly these small and normal things that help us to move forward especially then these things connect us to our people.?

Over the weekend I read a beautiful post from Brene Brown who was reflecting on her feelings after the US election. She went on to talk about Hope Theory and the way that it acts as a powerful antidote to despair. Even though she feels as though she has “no access to big hope right now” she knows that she can still move forward by supporting the people around her, the people on her team and the people in her community. Staying committed to courage, kindness and caring matters and is the only way forward.?

When times are tough and we feel like despair is stronger than hope, sadness is overpowering happiness and grief is threatening gratitude, sometimes the only thing we can do is the “smallest next right thing.” And with the support of our people, this will lead us to hope. One step at a time.

Wising you all a beautiful week. If big hope is not available to you that is totally fine. I am with you. Hope waits for us. Sometimes just reaching out to your people with courage, kindness and caring is enough.?

Take care and sending love,?

Ms Marnie Thomas?

Also, here are some beautiful photos of some of our Year 9 students harnessing hope before their exams last week at our Morning Meditation session. It was such a pleasure to be with you. We look forward to seeing Year 7 and Year 8 students this week.