The metamorphosis from boy to father.

How often do we see the ‘boy’ in so many of us men? He shows up in our moments of fear, need for control, rage, domination, etc but also in our moments of playfulness, need for support, attention. All the while in all the above and many more examples looking for love and acceptance.

This yearning for love and acceptance is predominately given by our parents/caregivers. Initially we should be given a healthy dose in childhood to set us off throughout our life without any need for external supplies. Building a healthy supply of resilience and teaching us to feel safe within ourselves. Yet so many of us are sadly deprived of this nurturance, and I emphasis with no fault of anyone, and will forever be seeking it outside of us for years to come. Maybe even until our last breath.

I lost my dear father a 3 weeks ago at the time of writing this. We had so much love for each other intermingled with the challenges of life and relationships. Hindsight made we aware that when people are alive, we, (hopefully consciously but more often subconsciously) believe that the day to reckon and heal will come and we can say what we quite can’t comprehend in the current moment at a time when we will be able to articulate it.?

I managed to find peace with my dad, but the finality of death still left an ice-cold water effect on my being. That’s it now! Anything need saying, doing, mending, and healing from now on will have to be done by me. Although I do now realise it was always only meant to be done by me but death kind of put an emphasis on that.

This is for me the part where the predominately subdued ‘father’ in us comes to the fore. This is the part of us that brings guidance and compassion, encompassed in strength and love that supports us with the reality of our very lonely existence. We enter this world vulnerable, and we leave it powerlessly. Our individual journeys are ever and only about us and how we impact ourselves and others. In the micro and macro scale of influences.?

I am the perfect male specimen to highlight the ego, fear, projection, low self-worth masquerading as a professional and sporting success yet in dire need of unblocking the river of love that flows within each of us. When this life force of a river is blocked everything else is but a compensator and never a liberator. I did it! I am doing it! It’s not without its pain points, resistance, and stuck-ness but it surely is liberating. Almost addictively.

I wish to impact this world, in my various self-professed superhero roles of boy, man and father. I wish to bring other men the peace and liberation our souls long for. I wish to impact every soul I come across with love and hope. I wish for all of us men to find the nurturing father within and start caring for the inner-child that is innocent to this day and only ever wishing to be loved and seen. I know this is a sure way to heal generational trauma and bring humanity together.??

I WILL do this without a doubt. In honour of myself, my father, and all men. The healthy masculine is on the rise, and I will be behind it, propelling and expanding it. For the collective good of all.

Here’s to the healthy masculine in all men and women,

Coach Lyndsay.