The messy side of saying No
Dana Pharant
Dominatrix, Author, High Priestess and 7 Figure CEO | Writing a "Eat Pray Love meets 50 Shades" Book | Surrender Expert | Leadership Training for Men and Women
Would it shock you to know that saying No is not actually natural for me?
You would think my training as a Dominatrix would have me owning that NO with so much ease.
The truth is, that my deep programming growing up in a religious cult continues to rear it's ugly head.
Saying NO was often not an option.
Saying NO was not something I learned how to do.
As I result, there have been way too many times I said YES because I felt obligated, because I thought I should, because I was trying to get it right.
Letting men pick me instead of me choosing who I wanted to be with.
Saying Yes to sex, when my body was clearly screaming NO.
I have come a very long way from who I was in my 20's, that person who had to eat and drink to numb out from all the NO's I did not speak.
And yet, it still shows up.
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These days it is much smaller things, things that make me laugh when I see the pattern repeating.
Like tossing a bottle of wine because I am not really loving it.
Like throwing out food that I am not actually going to get around to using up (better to wait until it is fully rotten lol).
Like being tempted to go on dates with men I have been chatting with on a dating app because there is nothing "wrong" with them, but it is not a "hell yes"
Ugly truth moment - I did have one of those dates this week, but I did choose to bid him goodnight after dinner and go home alone (the full story is going in the book - too steamy for LI).
The deeper I dive into surrender and awakening my sexual energy (that magnetic life force that makes me super irresistible), the more I see that the target is to improve and hopefully not repeat the same mistake twice.
Getting comfortable to saying NO when it is a NO opens the door for the hell yes's in life and business.
Tell me one thing you are going to say NO to next time - big or small I want to hear it from you.
Oh, and there is still that invitation for a wee chat for that one precious space I have for someone (maybe you) to unleash your sexual energy into the world. It is time for everyone else to see how brilliant you are, time for you to deepen your relationships and time for your productivity to switch gears so that you can join in on things instead of always doing.
Book a spot to have that wee chat www.bookDana.in
Global Brand Strategist | Purpose & Sustainability Advisor | Board Director | Author, Award-Winning Thought Leader & Speaker | Advocate for Human-Centered Leadership, shifting the consciousness of business
2 年"Getting comfortable to saying NO when it is a NO opens the door for the hell yes's in life and business." What a great way of looking at it. So much more empowering than "creating boundaries."
Lover of life, language and literature, advises brands on how to win hearts and wallets.
2 年No can be a very difficult word for people-pleasers, particularly in the customer service sector where "the customer is always right" can lead to some pernicious behaviour. Better to find other alternatives, including walking away, although this is always much easier to say than do.
?? Keynote Speaker, Comedian, Culture Guy. I blend comedy and strategy to help teams collaborate, innovate, and create cultures that are comfortable with getting uncomfortable. Want to challenge the status quo? DM me!
2 年Saying yes to no has been something I've been learning in real time booking a comedy showcase, but because I do, it makes the shows that much better. Is there a way to say no while still offering conditions for an eventual yes, or is that opening yourself up to that continuous cycle of people pleasing?
LinkedIn CONTENT CREATOR, PRODUCER, Visual Storyteller, PhotograpHER. I help business coaches + service-based entrepreneurs create content they love, grow organically + elevate the conversation they're having on LinkedIn
2 年Saying No can be so difficult, especially as a woman! But once we start using our power and saying No you can feel the energy shift. Dana Pharant
Bringing Responsible Leadership from Good Intentions to Action in Business and People Growth: AI | Cultural Change | Marketing | Innovation.
2 年I'm not a pro-NO, everything good in my life comes from YES. Setting boundaries doesn't work for me.