Messages from noisy seagulls this morning

back cove on my drive this morning was breathtaking

but my real message this morning came from the very loud seagulls

they were very chatty this morning and brought a smile to my face - my husband does this thing where he choreographs conversations animals are having and it's hysterical (think dr doolittle)

reminded of an old friend - Kathy Plummer - who used to do the same thing when we worked together at MMC when i was in high school (pre-dr doolittle)

i haven't seen her in decades and was reflecting on a conversation that changed my life; it's funny when those pivotal moments happen for us - i remember what i was wearing, where i was standing and the despair i felt

i was about 8 or 9 days sober and a friend had been kicked out of the half-way house we were in and i was talking to someone about it at a meeting

he gently held my hands and said "Carolyn, god puts people in our lives for a reason ... and he also takes them out for a reason"

and in that moment, my life changed course

it was a deep seated core belief that was ingrained in knowing that I was loved and cared for by some source of power i had no knowledge of

that friend had no way of knowing that the two of us had had plans that were not in our best interest, he had no way of knowing that he would forever change the course of my life (he does now because I've shared this with him) 

today, when relationships shift and evolve, i trust that it's in our best interest and have since that moment. i don't wonder what i did wrong or blame them in any way - i just trust that even if i don't understand it, it's being done for us and not to us or because of me or that other person

when i've done something to strain the relationship - i'm thankful for those courageous enough to talk to me about it and allow me to change as a human; otherwise I just trust this path that sometimes doesn't make sense to me

loud seagulls can bring messages for me when i can quiet my mind and let some goodness in

grateful beyond words this morning.