The Message That Never Came

Maya had reconnected with Siya, her old college roommate, a few years after they both graduated. Though life had taken them in different directions, their bond had remained strong—or so Maya thought. They kept in touch through occasional messages, checking in on each other’s lives, and celebrating each other’s successes. Siya had always been someone Maya trusted to offer a listening ear and advice whenever she was in a dilemma.

So when Maya found herself grappling with a significant decision at work, unsure of which direction to take, she reached out to Siya. After all, Siya had been there through the late-night study sessions, the moments of doubt in college, and had always given her sound advice. Maya sent a long message describing her dilemma, expecting Siya to respond with the same thoughtful guidance she’d offered in the past.

But days went by, and there was no reply.?

Maya brushed it off at first, assuming Siya was caught up with work or life. But as a week passed, Maya’s initial understanding began to turn into disappointment. She started checking her phone more often, her heart sinking with every notification that wasn’t from Siya. How could someone who had once been such a vital part of her life suddenly go silent when she needed her the most??

The longer the silence stretched, the more Maya’s thoughts spiralled.

Had their bond faded over time without her realising it?

Was she expecting too much from Siya?

In her frustration, Maya began to doubt the strength of their relationship.

But as she sat with her emotions, something shifted. She realised that maybe, in her need for advice, she had overlooked her own inner wisdom. For years, she had leaned on Siya’s perspective to validate her decisions, but now she saw that this silence was a nudge to trust herself.

This time, Maya made her own decision. To her surprise, things worked out well. She found her answers, and it became clear to her that what seemed like a setback—Siya’s unexpected silence—had pushed her to recognise her own experience and wisdom.

In time, Maya reconnected with Siya, and they caught up on life. The disappointment was still there, but when Maya learned that Siya had her own challenges to deal with and needed time, space, and silence, her perspective shifted.

The responsibility of?being?an advisor was weighing Siya down.?This realisation helped Maya understand that each of us needs to develop the capacity to find our?own?answers. Relying too much on one person can create dependency, and it places the burden of responsibility for decisions—decisions that aren’t their own—on the other person. As life unfolds, relationships evolve, and dynamics change. Ultimately, the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves.

This story got me thinking about the times when we turn to others for advice, only to find they?are not able to?give us what we need. It is not that they don’t want to be there, but perhaps they no longer have the capacity, space, or time to handle what life throws at them, while also processing the challenges of those around them.

Whether?it’s distance, time, or simply life’s distractions, we all have a lot going on. In those moments, silence can feel like being let down by someone we trust, but maybe it’s also an opportunity to rediscover our?own?inner guidance.

It is encouraging to see?that more people are?reaching out to professionals like therapists and coaches. They provide not only support but also help us build the capacity to trust our?own?judgment and make decisions for ourselves, without taking that responsibility away from us.

Have you ever had the experience of turning to yourself for guidance when those whom you leaned on couldn’t be there and discovered how well your own inner guidance worked for you?