MENTORSHIP…..Another way of God’s Blessings!

“If you have seen further than others, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants” – Isaac Newton

A life lived with a Mentor to enrich it, shows not just more promise, but delivers on it too.

Mentors in today’s day and age are a dying breed and if you have a good one, hold on forever. The relationship between a Mentor and Mentee is what stuff legends are made of, though hopefully your Mentor won’t ask you for your thumb like Guru Dronacharya asked Eklavya eons ago. I have been earning a paycheck for around twenty years but the fondest memories have been of enriching lives as a Mentor and getting uplifted by some wonderful Mentors along the way.

The term Mentor originates from one of the earliest and most seminal pieces of literature of all time— Homer’s epic poem ‘The Odyssey’. The Odyssey sheds light on the triumphant ten-year journey of Odysseus back home from his victory at the Battle of Troy. Mentor is a character in the story who is entrusted by Odysseus with the care and education of his son back home. In fact, at one point this character becomes transformed into a vehicle of the Goddess Athena so that she can appear on Earth and give guidance to his son. The three traits that a Mentor must demonstrate start with that of a Regent, a person of deep trust who can safely hold the space for another, while the other goes on a journey or quest; second, the Elder Teacher who can instill knowledge in another, particularly knowledge from an elder, a person of wisdom, to another person about the other person’s journey of discovery of self. Finally, at the end of the first part of the Odyssey, Mentor appears again in the masquerade of a wizened old man but is in reality Athena, and in this case as the peacemaker. Here is yet a third role of Mentor, the role of the elder person of wisdom assisting the pupil in his journey to achieve peace. In these three roles we begin to see what the art of mentorship may be. I find it fascinating that Homer in Mentor, combines the historic male virtue of intelligence and the historic female virtue of intuition in the same character.

Mentoring should not be relegated to what one usually subsumes it to just being a Teacher, or a Friend, or an Elder or even a Coach. A memorable Mentor may take elements from these four Wise Men but doesn’t necessarily become a subset of them, rather is a Superset of all of them and far beyond. 

A Mentor doesn’t pass on information and knowledge in a one way medium like a Teacher, but actually both Mentors and Mentees learn from each other over the course of time. 

A Coach is usually limited to partaking in activities which transmit skills to enhance the Trainee in his chosen field and is mostly limited to practicing those skills time and again to become a reflex action.  

A Friendship is an equal keel beautiful relationship in which the relationship is of trust and sharing, though is fundamentally non-hierarchical and may form in Mentoring after the task is done, so as to not confuse the boundaries of Mentor and Friend.

An Elder has a role in guiding us in our lives which they do as part of their Tribe responsibilities and is different from mentoring as its not focused on single individuals.

The functions of a mentor 

Now that we understand what a Mentor is not, and why Teachers, Coaches, best friends and elders are all important relationships but are not the same as Mentors, what are a Mentor’s particular functions?

A Mentor is not necessarily the person who answers your questions but actually the one who asks you questions so that you find yourself through this process of probing and prodding. A great Mentor wishes to know you inside out and helps you discover yourself in the beautiful journey of this enriching relationship. Mentoring can’t even start before the Mentor understands the way the Mentee learns, hence more questions and less answers.

It’s never a one-way street with Mentor-Mentee stories and I speak with personal experience that whenever I have taken up the mantle of the Mentor, I have come out of the journey more enlightened by their thoughts and point of view on life, with each one of them leaving an indelible impression and making me better for the long haul. Never approach it with this notion, that you shall only impart, as it doesn’t work that way. It requires incredible openness and teaches humility by being open to learnings and this makes this relation stand out from all others.

One critical mindset trait both parties need to keep in mind and adhere without doubt is to begin and work together as Apprentices in the Zen sense of having “Beginner’s Minds”. A Mentee can’t start a session with a Know-It-All attitude, Already-A-Master approach as that leaves this on to the path of doom. Even the Mentor never knows where this shall lead to, no idea what questions shall the Mentee ask, wherein the answers shall lead the conversation to.

The ways Mentoring can eventually lead to learning is either of these undermentioned three ways hence always remember there is more than one road, a Mentor shall take you to hallowed grounds.

Mentors help you to sustain laser focus on your Challenges in a way to overcome them, help in Choices, so that you make the right ones, maneuver Consequences, to ensure there are no adverse ones, hold your hands towards Creative Solutions, when there is no hope, and help you cross the finish line with Conclusions, which you shall cherish for the rest of your lives.

Is there an Ideal Mentor? The closest you can come to perfection is if your Mentor is an active listener, gives you ‘Honest Pull No Punches Feedback’, is specific always in advice and doesn’t over promise by always ensuring they raise their hands in areas where they don’t have any expertise. A Mentor wears many hats over the time of this association, sometimes of a Counselor by listening and guiding. Some days as a Consultant by giving their domain expertise insights based on a wealth of knowledge. There are times the Mentor has to become a Cheerleader, providing support and enthusiasm, and celebrating even small successes.

If we traverse Indian Mythology, the Lord Krishna and Arjun story comes up as a beautiful example of how Mentoring can change the course of history and become the premise for one of Hindu Religion's foremost treatise "Bhagawad Gita".

Mentorship may start at a hierarchical plane but it always without exceptions, hands the baton to a beautiful friendship for the times to come. In my score years of working and learning, I have had the privilege of being mentored a few times and each one of one of them is a person, I can say enriched my life in more ways than one and I would carry on the torch of their mentoring legacy by lighting up as many lives as I can, in the years to come.

Willingness to be mentored is the greatest gift we can give ourselves, by throwing away first the notion that we can do it alone. Remember one thing that even the Greatest Basketball Player of All Time, Michael Jordan also needed Scottie Pippen by his side. To be asked to be a Mentor is the highest gift we can bestow upon another and whenever I have had that privilege, I have smiled more than often and slept better than ever. To do this well in this calling is beyond complicated because of its intricacies and because it risks damage to the Mentee should it go awry. It is, therefore, the relationship that is of the highest order based as it is in the giving of complete trust from one to another with the nakedness and openness of spirit such a gift entail. Not to have a Mentor is to risk finding oneself in a dark world with no place to go. And one word to all the Mentees, Pay it Forward!

It is my wish that all of us find through the will and fortitude we exhibit, in a Mentoring relationship: 

• the true Joy of Living that a Mentorship relationship provides, and 
• through such a relationship, find the way to greater self-awareness and the freedom it brings, as each of us (Mentor and Mentee) journeys in pursuit of self-fulfillment. 

“A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” — Oprah Winfrey