On Mentorship

?Most would agree, much of what Noncommissioned Officers accomplish is through Teaching, Coaching and Mentoring others. This article is about mentorship. I believe it important to define each of the above because these words are not synonyms. In fact, each is very different!?

·??????Teach:?To transfer knowledge to another person. Providing instruction, on how to perform a task or to provide an individual with new or improved skills. In fact, in my book:?Behind the Colors: Where NCO Leadership Lives, one of the three skills a Corporal or Sergeant needs to master is to Train (Teach) individual, team, and crew tasks.?

Example:?Marksmanship, EIB, ESB, and EFMB

·??????Coach:?The role of a coach is to make you better. The coach doesn’t have to be better than you to be effective, they simply work to move you from where you are, to where you want to be. Good coaches don’t offer solutions. They help you develop your own solutions by asking good questions. A great book to improve coaching skills is:?The Coaching Habit,?by Michael Bungay Stanier.?

Example:?Promotion board preparation: Develop and execute a personal strategic plan: Help develop specific skills, build on strengths, or help identify and overcome negative tendencies?

·??????Mentor:?Mentors tend to have experience in the professional pathway or pursuit of the mentee. They have walked the path you are on. Mentors can provide you insights through their own experiences. But true mentorship is a relationship that is established based on trust and respect. This relationship is personal in nature where the mentor is vested in the development, and success of the mentee.?

Example:?Career Development: Accelerate the transition into a new leadership role or even positioning you for these roles behind the scenes: Assists in fast forwarding wisdom and insights?

?The mentor and coach relationships are different. With coaching, the relationship is all about improving your performance. Mentorship on the other hand, often has a personal component to it. Mentors tend to be people who care deeply about your development, and the relationship is longer in term.?

?Instead of looking at teaching, coaching, and mentoring, as something we do,?think of them as tools we use.?Just like a mechanic might use a wrench, screwdriver, and a set of pliers. The fact is, he often uses multiple tools on the same job. He selects the tool that matches the situation. He is deliberate and intentional about how he uses each of his tools. Coaching and mentoring require different skills and a different focus. In order to achieve the right outcome, both the mentor and mentee need to be intentional. Sometimes it is as simple as listening. The people we are working with may not be looking for us to solve their problems, they just need to say things out loud.?

?During my 34 year career in the Army I can only think of one person that I would classify as a mentor. I may have been mentored by many, but by definition I only had one mentor. A true mentor relationship is so personal that it isn’t something that can be assigned. You might not even know you are in such a relationship until you’ve been in it for a while.?

?In order to be in a true mentor/mentee relationship you must:?

·??????Be able to send your mentor a note or give them a call knowing they will pick-up or respond quickly.?

·??????You can be totally vulnerable with them. You can play with your cards facing out, without fear of judgement, retaliation or breach of confidentiality.

·??????In return you can count on total honesty. Sometimes it might hurt, but they will not deliver it in a hurtful way.?

·??????Sometimes the mentor shows up when you need them, even if you didn’t realize you needed them, but they show up just the same.??

·??????Mentors are champions for their mentees. They work behind the scenes to position the mentee for opportunities.?

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?My mentor was Command Sergeant Major Marvin Hill. The seeds for this relationship were sewn in November of 2003 when I was an operations Sergeant Major at Fort Carson. CSM Hill was the Division Command Sergeant Major for the 101st?Airborne Division (Air Assault). I was on the appointment list for CSM. I sent CSM Hill an email while the Division was deployed to Mosul, Iraq asking if there would be any Battalion CSM positions opening in the coming months. I had a reply the next morning when I woke up. It said, “I got it – don’t make contact with HRC – Stand-by.” Twenty days later I was in Mosul as the CSM for 3rd?Bn 502nd?Infantry. Marvin Hill remained my mentor for 14 years.?

?There were so many pearls of wisdom and insights I was able to glean from him that I was able to pass on to others for almost two-decades. Below are just a couple.?

?My first week in Mosul we had two Soldiers killed in separate attacks. I was a brand new Battalion CSM working to ensure our memorial ceremony paid the appropriate respect to our fallen Soldiers while allowing their comrades to pay tribute their friends.?

On ceremony’s: CSM Hill simply said, get the colors and the music right! That single and simple statement stuck with me so much, I wrote a book dedicated to “The Colors”.?

?When I was a Brigade CSM, I was given, what I believed to be an ultimatum by a more senior CSM through an email. So, I responded with an email, in kind. I may have gotten a little over my skies but I said in no uncertain terms I was willing to submit my retirement packet if that would solve the problem. Not even 12-hours later CSM Hill popped in the Brigade HQ for a conversation. We were deployed at the time. He didn’t come in to scold me for my response. He simply was seeking clarity and understanding. I don’t remember exactly what he said to me, nor do I know what he did behind the scenes, but in the end, it all worked out.?

?Then as a Division CSM, I was seeking insights in what service past the Division level might entail. CSM Hill told me that if I was considering a position where I might deploy again to make sure it was a position that came with an office at a home station. Then about 4-months after I redeployed he called me and asked if I was interested in one of those positions he had warned me about. See, as a mentor he gave me great insights but he didn’t try to shield me or keep an opportunity from me. He gave me the insights, offered the opportunity, and allowed me to make the decision.?

?I realize these are very high level examples but the same type of wisdom and insights can be gleaned from the ranks of Sergeant through First Sergeant. What would be a better assignment for me, recruiting or drill sergeant? Conversations on how to approach difficult conversations or dealing with individuals who have character flaws are critical in order address these challenging situations. Another challenge leaders at these levels struggle with are preparing difficult NCOERs, recommendations for promotion, awards, and accountability.?

?Mentorship is a very powerful tool! It’s a relationship between individuals who work together over time to support personal and professional growth, development, and success. It is possible to use mentorship as a tool but to hold the title of mentor is very special and rare.?

About the author: Scott Schroeder is Managing Member of The Proximity Group, a business consulting company focused on growing trusted and confident leaders. Scott retired from the U.S. Army in 2017 as the Command Sergeant Major of U.S. Army Forces Command. He is an AUSA Leadership Fellow. He currently lives in Charlotte, NC.?