Mentorship: A Master Key to Success

"The No. 1 reason for failure in life and business is not the lack of skill or resources, but the lack of a good mentor! If you were asked to walk barefoot through a minefield, would you wish you were first, or the second? Find a Worthy Mentor." —Rajesh Murthy

"Choose your mentors based on who you want to be. Mentors can reflect where you want to go, they can create access for you, and give you guidance as you plan your own personal development...Having more than one mentor is important — then it's like having your personal board of directors." —Ranu Gupta

"One of the greatest values of mentors is the ability to see ahead what others cannot see and to help them navigate a course to their destination." —Dr. John C. Maxwell

"Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding." —Proverbs 4:7

Mentorship is a master key to success in any area of life.?I believe that there are two primary ways of receiving wisdom: making mistakes and learning from one's mistakes or developing a relationship with a mentor.?I believe that everyone should have at least one mentor, advisor, or coach.?Once one has achieved any meaningful level of success, I believe that one should volunteer to be a mentor to those who are ready to learn from their wisdom.?I believe that everyone should seek out an uncommon mentor in any area of one's life that is a struggle.?Most people are successful in at least one area of their lives but might be struggling in other areas.?For example, one might be exceptional at work or in business but not be very good at being a supportive spouse or parent.?Such a person may not need a business mentor but will do well to seek the advice of someone who has a successful marriage or a happy family.

A mentor is someone who has been where you are trying to go.?A mentor has already experienced the pain of the problem you are about to create.?A mentor could make a significant difference in your life.?A mentor could be the difference between demotion or promotion, loss or gain, success or failure, deterioration or restoration.?A mentor can fast track your path to success by providing you the privilege to learn from his or her experience and access his or her trusted network or resources.?You do not have to re-invent the wheel; you can borrow wisdom from others who have gone before you.?You can gain wisdom from a mentor through relationships.?A mentor could be the difference between where you are currently and where you want to go.?A mentor can see all of your blind spots because he or she was once where you are today.

A mentor is not necessarily one's best friend.?Mike Murdock once said:

"Your best friend loves you the way you are.

?Your mentor loves you too much to leave you the way you are.?

Your best friend is comfortable with your past.?

Your mentor is comfortable with your future.?

Your best friend ignores your weakness.

Your mentor removes your weakness.?

Your best friend is your cheerleader.

Your mentor is your coach."

An uncommon mentor is worthy of pursuit.?When you find someone who has achieved what you are trying to achieve, it is your responsibility to pursue that person as a mentor and not the other way around.?I have many mentors who have taught me many things.?I have found that most people will be willing to help you out, guide you, and share their experiences with you if you ask nicely.?Sometimes, it is not possible to have a physical relationship with an uncommon mentor.?In those cases, make sure to pursue mentorship through the mentor's work: books, training programs, seminars, conferences... It is incredible to me how much one can learn by reading a book that only costs $20 that took the author a lifetime to write.?You can gain insight and wisdom from someone you have never met and who might no longer be physically with us, but whose wisdom is still speaking through his or her published works.

Once someone has agreed to mentor you, you must protect and highly value his or her time.?As mentioned earlier, your mentor is NOT your best friend.?You don't just hang out and shoot the breeze.?When you have the privilege to be in the presence of an uncommon mentor, you must come to each session prepared with a plan and ready to learn.?You must prioritize your mentor's time.?Do not show up late.?Do not talk about things that do not matter.?Your mentor is partly successful because he or she manages his or her time very well.?Your mentor could be doing a thousand other things right now than speaking to you.?Always treat it a privilege to have your mentor's full attention and never take it for granted.?Generally, I only meet twice a year with my uncommon mentors, usually for less than thirty minutes.?At times, when I have to make a major decision, I will request my mentors' counsel and feedback.?Sometimes, I have had to change my own schedule to invest time with my mentors.?An hour with my mentor could easily be worth a thousand hours elsewhere.?A few minutes with my mentors could potentially save me hours of pain and headaches and help unlock my destiny.?Time spent with my mentors is literally priceless.

An uncommon mentor must be listened to.?You do not always have to agree with your mentor, but you must listen to him or her.?Your mentor has experience that you can only dream about.?You need to listen to every word, seriously think it through, and do exactly as advised.?Remember, you are the one who pursued the mentorship relationship, not the other way around.?The least you can do is listen.?At times, you may not agree with your mentor. It's your life after all; you should do as you please. However, I would highly recommend that you think twice before doing anything opposed to your mentor's advice.

As an uncommon protégé, you must always resist the temptation to become a parasite.?Some protégés use their mentors' influence or fame to advance their own careers or ulterior motives.?There is nothing necessarily wrong with taking pictures with your mentors, just be mindful of how you use the image of your mentor.?Some mentors do want to protect their privacy.?Some protégés may want what the mentor has earned instead of what the mentor has learned.?What the mentor has earned may be one of the reasons I decided to pursue a relationship with the mentor; however, as a mentee, my focus is to extract what my mentor has learned and apply the same knowledge to earn my own.?Another differentiation between uncommon protégés and parasites is the fact that they are transparent with their mentors.?Uncommon protégés freely discuss their dreams, aspirations, and pain with their mentors.?The value of the feedback received from one's mentor is only as good as the quality of the protégé's disclosures.?It does not make sense to ask for advice and not be transparent about the situation one is facing.

Mentorship has been a major key to my success so far.?There is no way I will ever be able to repay my mentors.?The good book says, "for unto whom much is given, of him shall be much required." Once one has been mentored by an uncommon mentor and starts to achieve any level of success, one must return the favor by mentoring someone else who is ready to learn.?Not everyone is ready to learn, and you do not want to cast your "pearls before swines." As much as you may want to sometimes, you cannot force someone to learn from you.?I believe Laozi once said:" When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." As they say, "you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink." I believe there is somebody out there, who is ready and seeking an uncommon mentor, that mentor may as well be you.?Once you agree to be someone's mentor, you should keep in mind that you should not answer questions that your protégé refuses to ask.?Mentorship is a relationship; it takes time to develop.?Sometimes, all good things do come to an end.?As the mentor or the protégé develops and grows, it is sometimes ok to end the mentorship relationship.?Mentorship is highly desirable, but it might not be for everyone.?Choose your mentor and protégé carefully.

Here are some of my primary mentors:

Spiritual Mentors: Apostle Dr. Charles Ndifon & Rev. Dr. Donna Ndifon

Information Warfare Mentors: CAPT Ryan Mahelona , CAPT Philip Notz (Ret) , CAPT Thomas Follo (Ret) , & CAPT Joel Rothschild (Ret)

Cybersecurity Mentors: Jamil Farshchi , Keyaan Williams , & Hemma Prafullchandra ?

Leadership Mentor: Dr. John Maxwell

Success Mentors: Brian Tracy & Darren Hardy

Personal Development Mentor: Tony Robbins & Shellye Archambeau

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