Mentorship: A Bridge From Where We Are to Where We Want to Be

I recently had a conversation with an advisee about the challenges she’s experiencing as she pursues her degree. She said that she is trying to find a bridge between two worlds; from her background and previous experience to a new world she is building, utilizing her education to create new opportunities and a new life for herself and her family. ?Her words have resonated with me the last few days. She was asking how to bridge between two worlds, the world she knew and the world she wanted to be part of.

That’s what mentoring can be – a bridge from where we are to where we want to be. There are times that we cross this bridge as a tourist, seeking what’s on the other side but not planning to stay. There are times we cross the bridge as traders, navigating back and forth because we recognize the value on each side of the bridge. There are also times we cross the bridge as a guide, helping others to cross and find their way to their destination.

If we do not find ways to cross the bridge, and then help others to do the same, we are not experiencing mentorship.

I shared one of my most powerful mentee moments with this advisee during our conversation. Early in my career, I was frustrated by what I viewed as a colleague’s lack of effort and poor performance. I was a bit too vocal about this frustration, sharing my perspective with colleagues in and out of my department.

I know – not my finest moment.

My manager sat down with me and discussed the situation. Of course, she provided coaching about the situation at hand and redirected my time and energy back into my responsibilities. However, she also served as a mentor, using the opportunity to address a broader theme and impact my career beyond the specific circumstances of that situation. She shared a thought that has stuck with me since – a thought that guides me to this day.

When we speak ill of someone, we hurt who they are and who they can be.

I have taken that phrase and turned it around as well.

When we speak well of someone, we build them up. We support who they are and who they can become.

Part of my mentorship journey, a bridge I needed to cross, required a guide to help me learn inclusive professionalism instead of office politics. As I gained more experience and skills, I was prepared to navigate between different departments, organizations, and industries with confidence. Now, I can serve as a guide for others, helping them build confidence to cross the bridge themselves.

My life was forever changed that day, when I was given a glimpse into who I was becoming and realized I needed to shift. I wanted to be the person that built others up, that helped them in their journey. My manager – one of the most powerful mentors I’ve ever had – helped me navigate the bridge to become the professional, and ultimately the person, I wanted to be.

This article will be my last about mentorship – for now. I leave you with a thought. Who are you on the bridge right now? Are you a tourist, a trader, or a guide? If you’re a tourist, is it time for you to become a trader, comfortable navigating without consistent, daily support? If you’re a trader, is it time to consider being a guide? If you’re a guide, are you empowering others to act without you? Or are you creating followers who rely on you to continue crossing the bridge?

Bridges can be intimidating. We can help each other cross them, though. Mentorship allows us to care for each other and build each other up as we navigate the bridge between who we are and who we want to become.