Mentor's and why we all need at least one

Mentor's play perhaps the most important role in becoming a true leader, yet there is no class, no guide to what this means or does not mean. Mentoring has many layers to it and frankly it is not something one should take lightly. So absent a "Mentor Guide", let me share a few insights that can help you on this journey.

What a mentor is not:

  1. Not your best friend
  2. Not your "yes" person that always agrees with you
  3. Not the person that is using you to get what they want
  4. Not your wing person or drinking buddy
  5. Not just someone either more senior to you or older than you( could be but by no means is this a criteria)

So what is a great mentor and please understand this takes time and thought. You must look hard at yourself and be brutally honest with yourself and what you understand is weaknesses and aspects of who you are that you just need someone that can take time ( yes they need to be willing to invest in you) take time and to share what they see as ways to assist you. I see people that are great friends and that could use mentoring all the time but the EGO gets in the way, this is another key. You are surrounded by potential mentors but often your own ego blocks them helping you get better or gain wisdom because, "Well if I ask them to mentor me, that shows weakness or shows I lack knowledge and skills". UNPUFF Your chest and learn to grow up.

A great mentor is someone, remember the "what is NOT a mentor" and will be frank, honest, but most of all help you self reflect on issues and items. Someone that will sit and look you in the eye and say, but what if you did it this way? What if you thought about the situation like this? They are honest, they are often brutally frank, "yes, you screwed up" now move on , if you cannot handle that you will never grow.

And keep in mind sometimes a mentor gives you pearls of wisdom small and large. Here are two mentors I had in my career.

Jack Hamlin: VP Human resources at Peoples Drugstores. "Kevin, never forget to tell people, thank you and let them know they did a great job. Do that in a very personal manner, often we think it is the bonus check or some big award, but in reality leaving someone a hand written personal note sharing how you felt about the effort they gave, they will remember that forever. He was never wrong on this and used it till this day.

Ralph Nichols: CEO Dale Carnegie's largest franchise in the US: Kevin, how old are you today? How long do you expect to work. Let's write those numbers down( I was struggling to think what I wanted to do in my career and he helped me set my goals and align my thinking) now we have this number and what I see is you are not even halfway to your end of career so the first years are just learning, just preparing you for all you can and will do now, it takes time to learn skills and those will help you and help others later in your real career. So true now as I look back.

Last, the mentor wins too, as being a mentor is a massive learning so look to be someone's mentor as well, it will make you grow. We all need to have mentors and to be a mentor or asked to be someone's mentor is the highest show of respect anyone can give you.

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