Mentors make the Difference by opening doors that save Decades
Dr. Elmer Towns, co-founder of Liberty University, started mentoring me during graduate school. While you may never have heard of Elmer I learned by watching this remarkable leader develop others, which saved decades of time trying to learn leadership on my own. Here are the mentoring lessons to help you.
When I met Elmer over 35 years ago I had no idea how much he would impact my future. There is an old saying, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come.” Often times you may not realize the tremendous value brought by the leaders around you, or the great opportunities to learn from them. If you keep a student mindset to learn more- a mentor will come- you just have to be prayerfully watching. Here is some coaching to help you through that process.
Who could be a mentor?
Mentors can come from many places- coaches, teachers, pastors, employers, grandparents or coworkers. I’ve benefited from the personal mentoring of leaders like John Maxwell, Pat Williams, Steve Brown, Jerry and Elmer Towns. However, you can also be mentored through a process some call, ‘mentoring- one step removed,’ where you regularly study the teaching of a leader through books, audio books, radio, video or podcast messages. Media can give you a tremendous amount of value from a mentor as they speak into your journey, which is a good start, yet it misses the importance of face to face contacts and the importance of direct accountability to stay focused.
Mentors are committed to helping you grow into your potential as a leader, so it’s a combination of teaching, guiding, challenging, role modeling and coaching to draw out your best, all within the framework of a relationship with honest accountability. This transformational process saves considerable time because your leader can open doors and guide you to develop insights you might not find on your own for decades.
Mentors make a huge difference, yet how do you go about finding one? Here are some key factors to get you started to grow faster and maximize your potential by finding a trusted mentor.
1. Look for leaders with considerable experience
Mentors are people who have ‘been there- and- done that’. They have a proven track record of knowing what to do because they have learned from their failures and leveraged their successes to achieve greater results. Nothing replaces experience in a master teacher or mentor, so anticipate that they will be older than you, yet with that age comes practical wisdom from battle scars you can't find anywhere else.
2. Look for leaders who know what they believe
A mentor is a person who has strong convictions and has gone well beyond talking about their values to earnestly living them. If someone is wishy-washy about their core values and purpose in life they won’t have much to add to your journey, and may even become a roadblock by creating more doubt than adding discipline. A weak leader who doesn't believe in something might be able to talk it, but won’t be consistent in living it; compared to a strong mentor who is rock solid in what they believe, so it's easy for them to consistently live out their core values.
3. Look for leaders who are inspired to help others
A mentor is motivated to make a difference, so be alert for people who want to do more with their life. You may not find a mentor who is a best-selling author or national television personality, yet is making a huge contribution in your local community. Don’t be distracted by the lack of formal education either. Some of the greatest role models didn’t have the advantages of advanced degrees, but they have earned PhD's from the school of hard knocks and know how to prevent you from taking wrong roads that waste time. Watch to see who really cares about people and you will find they often will take time out to invest into the lives of those around them. Just ask.
4. Basic mentoring requires structure to grow strong
In a formal mentoring relationship there is a clearly defined structure of times to meet, clear goals, well defined expectations and accountability to keep you on a path of positive growth and change. In a less structured mentoring relationship there are times of teaching, encouraging and equipping, yet you have to be watching more closely because these training times come fast and often leave just as fast. Mentoring can be maximized by follow up calls, emails, text messages or handwritten notes to challenge and inspire you to press on to reach your potential.
A successful mentoring process is closely tied to your hopes, dreams, goals, values and personality. If you are a quiet person of prayer, it is likely that you will connect best to a mentor with those personality traits. If you are a people person who is highly verbal, your mentor will likely have similar traits. As develop as a leader it will become apparent who is a good fit to mentor you at different stages of your career. It's not up to great mentors to find you, rather, it's up to you to grow enough to get on the radar of great leader. The more you grow, the more options you have.
Sometimes well-meaning parents will try to force an unmotivated son or daughter into the presence of a master teacher, yet it usually ends up being a complete waste of time. Coaching Strategy - stay ready to grow and you will meet the most amazing people along the way, yet usually when you least expect to find them. And if you aren’t growing you won’t meet mentors because they will walk on by to invest in someone who wants to make the world a better place- instead of just taking up space.
Elmer Towns was a tremendous mentor who made a huge impact on my life. Here are a few of the key success principles I learned from this master teacher that made a positive difference, which I hope will add greater value to your life as well.
Have a vision and keep moving forward, no matter what
Elmer Towns partnered with Jerry Falwell in 1971 to build one of the fastest growing universities in the country. These men faced impossible odds together and often stood up to incredible challenges, yet always with courage and faith. I never saw either of these men discouraged, at work, at the university or at home. You and I can benefit by knowing the purpose for our life and then press on, no matter what comes. To know where you are going and press on with perseverance is a key to lasting success.
Continually train the next generation of young leaders
Dr. Towns has always been passionate about training young people. This positive empowering of younger leaders modeled the style of Socrates, Plato and of course, the teaching style the Master Teacher used with the twelve disciples. No one lives forever so it is essential to be equipping others to carry on the work if you want to make a lasting difference in the world. This mentoring principle is one you and I can put into practice with the younger people in our lives today. Everyone can learn something and everyone can share something they have learned with the next generation which saves them decades of time being purposeful instead of drifting.
Teach and reinforce the message
A master teacher will keep sharing the same life application principles to reinforce the message until you ‘own it’. They don’t’ get mad when you don’t understand, they just look for a better way to communicate the message in a way you can hear. I’m deeply grateful for a world-class leader who was dedicated to the success of his students and honor him by teaching and mentoring others.
This brings up the final lesson I learned from my mentor so many decades ago.
Do things now that will live on after you are gone
This is the power of building a positive legacy, and it lives on in the lives of the over 250,000 students Elmer impacted who attended Liberty. I was blessed to have a mentor early in life who believed in me and do things today he taught over a quarter century ago. I’m a more effective leader because of two years as a grad student watching Elmer Towns lead others and 35 years of his continual encouragement as a mentor. His legacy of equipping students like me will ripple for generations into the lives of others.
Who do you look to for leadership?
Who is your mentor? If you don’t know the answer because you don’t have one, start looking today for leaders boldly working for positive change in their part of the world and find a way to get to them. You need a mentor you can believe in, and when you find them, plug in to the value that they can add to your life. Once you find them, listen all you can, learn all you can and then eventually lead others in what your mentor trained you to do… make a positive difference. That legacy that never dies, because it is carried on throughout generations in the hearts and actions of people who were blessed to know why mentoring matters.
What names of master mentors are on your list and what positive changes are you working toward because of the influence of your mentors? Mentoring matters because it changes you today, so you can work for a better world tomorrow.
About the author– Dwight Bain helps leaders rewrite their story through change based strategy. He is a Certified Leadership Coach, Nationally Certified Counselor, and Family Law Mediator in practice since 1984. He partners with media, family based businesses and non-profits to make a positive difference. Follow him on social media for more change based research and inspiration @DwightBain