Mentoring is a two way street...

This is a topic that I have had a great deal experience with both early in my career as a mentee and more recently as a mentor. It's a concept commonly discussed in leadership and professional development. If you have read some of my past post you will see a common theme of relating business concepts to science and nature. This post will not be different as I think we can draw from examples that will allow us to look at this topic from a unique perspective.

I want to advance my career...

I have heard this from many individuals regarding the desire to have a mentorship and will tell you it is not a productive way to start a relationship. I would suggest that mentorship is about advancing ones understanding of business and perspectives. It is not a track to short term promotion but more of a long term investment. It is about preparing yourself to deal with unique business issues and gaining knowledge and perspectives from others to craft your own personal management style. It does have the advantage of learning from others experiences but this is not a short cut to your own personal development. It requires an active balanced participation from both participants. A mentor will not be engaged if they find the relationship unrewarding. Your responsibility is to learn as well as educate, from your own personal knowledge base, this is at the root of a rewarding mentorship.

What exactly is mentoring or a mentorship?

Well the formal idea behind mentorship is a relationship in which a more experienced or a more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. The mentor may be older or younger, but have a certain area of expertise. It is a learning and development partnership between someone with vast experience and someone who wants to learn. While this is an accurate definition it lacks the true depth of a meaningful mentor and mentee relationship. 

From my own experience....

Yes it is the passing of knowledge and wisdom however when done correctly quite a bit more. The mentor helps building ones confidence required to take risks and make mistakes. The relationship should advance ones courage to look bigger and discover new ground. A mentor has a responsibility to be honest when others may be afraid to share opinions. A mentee may find this discouraging and develop defensive felling's however that is the exact point of the mentor and their focus in challenging and developing your broader understanding. Learning, change and development is not easy and should come as challenging.

When I was younger I had a mentor who had greater confidence in my capabilities then I possessed at the time. He opened the door for me to tackle some very difficult business situations as well as complex technical problems. He was careful not to be judgmental but supportive when I had a unique perspective other than his own. He always required that if I had a position it was supported with facts and data. Many times I became frustrated as the solution felt intuitive and obvious however his interest was focused not on what I though but rather how I developed these conclusions. I have found that difficult or "Wicked Problems" do not have a clear solution but rather it lies more in the path we take to an outcome and who we bring along in the process that decides our overall success or failure.

 Perspective can be tricky be careful!

Stop and consider this statement. We develop from our past experiences which are not obviously holistic of others. I would contend as we move through careers if we are not careful our own perspectives become narrow and many times inaccurate to current situations, generational or cultural norms. A mentee can help a mentor exercise, challenge, and evolve in this area of broadened prospective if they are willing to equally express their own personal views. 

Look at the picture below and be honest which table is wider and which is narrower?

I am sure, you are saying to yourself, "that is obvious, anyone can see that the table on the left is more narrow and longer than the one on the right". The reality is both are identical in size. Your brain has been conditioned to view these two objects based on a perspective norms and without measurement or consideration come to what seems a reasonable conclusion.

Our brains have a way of shaping what we expect rather than what is actual reality. We see a vertical line as longer than a horizontal line of the same length. This is easily seen in the letter T when the horizontal and vertical strokes measure precisely the same length, or when two line segments of exactly the same dimension form a right angle with one segment horizontal and the other vertical. 

This same process of distortion happens as we move through careers, our experiences shape how we perceive. I cannot tell you the numbers of times I have been in a meeting or discussion that I see both younger and older employees jump to conclusions based on experience that prove inaccurate or in many cases totally wrong. The mentor relationship should be grounded in helping one find real truth.

You probably have heard the saying "you cannot teach an old dog new tricks" the reality is this may apply for dogs but has little meaning when we posses an awareness that every day is an opportunity to learn, challenge assumptions and share knowledge in an effort to grow as better human beings. 

Be a little more human and show your style,

Kevin

These are my own personal discoveries and observations and if you find this information informative please provide Comments, Likes and feel free to Share the post with others in your network.