Mentorship - all aboard with the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker!

If you get the opportunity to become a mentor, either through a scheme or a direct approach, I’d highly recommend it, and I'm sure your future self will thank you.

I’ve always enjoyed helping colleagues - I’d like to think I’ve played my part in their subsequent development and achievements, and I've acquired a few new skills myself along the way.

So, what skills do you need to be a mentor? When I joined my first scheme, I was told that I would need to be a coach, a counsellor, and a cheerleader but based upon my experience as both a mentor and mentee, I'd say that the different hats you need to wear are more akin to those worn by the characters from an old nursery rhyme - the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker!

The Butcher

Occasionally, a mentor needs to supply some tough love. I remember going to visit one of my mentors, a former boss, when I was looking for a new role and he didn’t mince his words. After a general discussion around job hunting and networking, he asked for my permission to enter "the uncomfortable zone".

He cut straight to the bone and spent the next ten minutes commenting on my appearance - watch ("too blingy"); shirt ("should be white"); tie ("too flashy"); coat ("the wrong type"); suit ("I’m guessing it was in the sale, otherwise I don't know why you'd buy one like that!")

He said if I wanted another senior leadership role, I needed to dress like a senior leader as potential employers would judge me initially on my appearance. He then proceeded to tell me what I should buy and where to get it. I felt like I'd been gutted, but I took his advice on the chin and thanked him for his candour. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but I knew it was what I needed to hear.

I remember saying "at least I don’t need to change my shoes!" He asked me to stand up and then said “Yes you do - they should be Oxfords. I couldn’t see them when you were sitting down!”

I sent a thank you email a week later advising him that I’d followed his advice and purchased a whole new business wardrobe. He said it was a 'smart' investment - pun intended!

I often think back to that meeting with a wry smile, and now I always check the dress code in advance before attending interviews or business events to ensure my appearance is appropriate.

Tough love can be very effective, but you need to follow some basic principles:

• Wait until the relationship with your mentee is firmly established.
• Do it with the best of intentions.
• Use it sparingly and appropriately.
• The first cut is the deepest, so obtain their permission and always respect their wishes.
• Provide some specific examples of the behaviour, skill, or attitude that they need to change.
• Step back and allow your mentee time to fully process the feedback.
• Be prepared to answer their clarifying questions.
• Be constructive - don't go for cheap cuts!

The Baker

There's no such thing as a stupid idea, but some of them could be half-baked, and that's where a mentor can help their mentees to shape and mould them into something more palatable by:

• Acting as a sounding board for their ideas - helping them with the proofing and proving!
• Providing a safe and confidential environment for them to discuss issues, situations, events - anything that’s on their mind.
• Using active listening skills - reassuring them that you're in their corner.
• Asking open questions and digging deeper.
• Giving them objective feedback.
• Suggesting and exploring possible options without being prescriptive.
• Guiding, but not steering, them to a conclusion - allowing them to make their own choices and decisions.
• Helping them to bring out their inner artisan.

The Candlestick Maker

I recall a mentee from my hometown of Middlesbrough telling me that she found me inspiring - "If you can have a successful career, Jon, there's hope for us all". I think I know what she meant!

An important element of a mentor's role is to provide a guiding light, a shining example and yes, a glimmer of hope to their mentees:

• Lead by example and act as a role model.
• Make it clear that you’re there to support and encourage their personal and/or career development, but they need to take ownership.
• Follow their agenda - set up monthly placeholders, but let your mentee decide whether and how they want to use them without undue pressure.
• Tell stories and share best practice to spark their interest - give them the benefit of your experience.
• Signpost any potential opportunities.
• Make introductions to your network.
• Help to remove roadblocks and create bridges for them.
• Show them the way, but they need to take the first step.
• Brighten the light at the end of their tunnel.

With rhyme and reason

With a few subtle tweaks, I reckon that old nursery rhyme is the perfect way to sum up my article - all aboard the mentorship!

I've captured the above points on a slide - I hope you find it helpful. Please click on this?link?to view it on SlideShare.

Over to you

If you have any stories about your own time as a mentor, I’d love to hear them unless you want to keep them under your hats!