Mentoring Relationships Benefit Personal and Professional Growth

During the first decade of my career I mainly had one main formal mentor and a number of informal mentors. Most of my mentors were attorneys or judges, which makes sense given my chosen profession. Others were in different professions or businesses. The string running through all of those relationships was the professional and life lessons I learned from each one, many of which I follow to this day.

In one case with someone I considered to be an informal mentor, I'm sure the other person didn't know I considered him to be a mentor. I never said anything because it seemed clear to me he wouldn't have been comfortable formalizing our relationship in that manner. In hindsight I'm not sure I was right or not never saying anything, but I still look to and live by things I learned from that person.

I actually ran into him in the past year for the first time in a long time and when I mentioned to him something I learned from him that I still thought about many years later he didn't recall the thought or conversation other than thinking it was something he would have said and that he still thought it was true. This brought home that sometimes the impact of a statement or conversation affects or impacts one of the parties more or differently than the other and that's okay. It's like The Rolling Stones said, "sometimes you get what you need" as I did from that long ago conversation.

The point is that whether a person is a formal mentor to you or you just consider them to be someone you trust and learn from, it's an important relationship. Most of us have a few formal or informal mentors over time. If you think about who helped you along the way it becomes a bit more clear. What you learned may have related to your professional life, general life issues, or both. Either way, the importance of a having one or more good mentors over time can't be ignored.

The basis of any mentor mentee relationship is support and trust. It is an exercise in listening for the mentor because a mentor is more of a facilitator or guide, not simply an instructor. But that doesn't mean the mentor isn't benefitting from the relationship. This type of relationship helps both parties. I find it helps self-awareness and understanding of my and the other person's strengths and weaknesses. By participating in such a relationship, you evolve in many ways even when it's an informal mentoring relationship and the "mentor" may not realize the role they are playing in your life.

Depending on where you are professionally or in life, think about the relationships you have in which, whether formal or unsaid, you're in the role of mentor or mentee. If you don't have such a relationship, seek one out now. It will help you grow as a person and, whether you are the mentor or mentee, allow you to play an important role in another’s story. These are the types of relationships that make life so rich.