Mentoring Moment: Giving Feedback

Top mentors know that effective feedback isn’t one-size-fits-all. The best mentors fluidly shift between being a Leader, a Manager, and a Mentor—sometimes within the same conversation. Knowing how to do this well requires an understanding of what your teammate needs in that moment:

• Direction? Step in as a Leader
• Expectations? Provide structure as a Manager
• Example? Share wisdom as a Mentor

Too often, I see managers struggle with feedback—not because they don’t care, but because they default to one mode of communication rather than adjusting to the situation. The best mentors fluctuate between perspectives, ensuring their feedback lands in a way that drives action and growth.

A leader offers vision and direction for the future, helping us all see that we have a role in creating it. A manager ensures the daily workload is completed efficiently and executes on the vision. A mentor shares insights from their own experiences to offer a path forward, make us aware of blind spots, and help us see the whole picture.

Fluctuating between these perspectives is what separates good mentors from great ones.

Mastering the Three Feedback Perspectives

?? Leader: Providing Vision & Direction

Role: A leader ensures the individual understands why their work matters and how it connects to the bigger picture.

When to Use Leader Feedback:

• When someone needs clarity on goals or priorities
• When work is off-course and needs realignment
• When you want to inspire action and ownership

Leader Feedback Example: "This project is a key piece of our long-term strategy. Right now, it’s missing alignment with our broader goals. How can we adjust it so it better supports our mission?"

?? Manager: Setting Expectations & Structure

Role: A manager focuses on execution and performance, ensuring work is done efficiently and effectively.

When to Use Manager Feedback:

• When someone needs clarity on expectations and deadlines
• When work quality or efficiency needs improvement
• When you need to address performance issues

Manager Feedback Example: "I noticed the report was missing key data points. Let’s walk through what needs to be included next time so we stay on track with our deadlines."

?? Mentor: Sharing Experience & Guidance

Role: A mentor provides insight, perspective, and personal experience to help someone navigate their own growth.

When to Use Mentor Feedback:

• When someone is learning and developing a skill
• When they’re struggling with career growth decisions
• When they need perspective from someone who’s been there

Mentor Feedback Example: "I struggled with similar challenges early in my career. What helped me was [specific lesson]. Have you considered trying a similar approach?"

Tip to Get Started: Announce Your "Hat" First

If you're new to giving feedback or want to ensure clarity from the start, consider announcing which hat you are wearing before diving into the conversation. This helps set expectations and allows your teammate to process the feedback through the right lens.

Leader Approach: "I’m going to put on my Leader hat for a moment—let’s talk about how this work fits into the bigger picture."

Manager Approach: "As your Manager, I want to focus on the execution side of things so we can make this more efficient."

Mentor Approach: "Speaking as a Mentor, I’ve been through something similar and want to share what helped me."

This small adjustment can eliminate confusion and make feedback more effective by aligning expectations from the start.

What If You’re the One Asking for Feedback?

As a teammate, knowing how to ask for the right kind of feedback can make all the difference. Instead of simply asking, “Can I get some feedback?”—which often leads to vague or misaligned responses—get specific about what you need.

How to Ask for the Right Feedback:

If you need vision and direction, ask your Leader: "I want to make sure I’m aligned with our bigger goals. Can you help me understand how my work contributes to the broader strategy?"

If you need workload support or execution guidance, ask your Manager: "I’m struggling to balance priorities and stay on track with deadlines. Can we walk through my workload together to make sure I’m focusing on the right things?"

If you need personal insight or career growth advice, ask your Mentor: "I’ve been facing [specific challenge] and would love to hear about any similar experiences you’ve had. How did you navigate it, and what lessons did you learn?"

By framing your request based on the type of feedback you need, you give your leader, manager, or mentor the ability to respond in the most useful and actionable way.

Closing Thoughts for Mentors

The best mentors don’t get stuck in one mode—they adjust. Some days, you need to be the leader painting the big picture. Other times, you need to manage details to ensure execution. And when growth is the goal, mentorship provides the guidance that keeps people on track without taking away their ability to play their own game.

So before your next feedback conversation, ask yourself:

Am I leading, managing, or mentoring?

And if you’re the one seeking feedback, remember—asking for the right type of feedback gets you the right kind of guidance.

Because when you choose the right approach, your feedback doesn’t just correct—it empowers, aligns, and inspires growth.