Mentoring Insights with Joy Gayles

What are some of the ways you’ve helped your mentees develop professionally?

This is such an interesting question – in part, because I’m not 100% sure. My approach to mentoring students involves coaching and being a reflective mirror. As an advisor and dissertation chair, my job is to coach them through the dissertation process. I also take on the role of cheerleader – we all need a cheerleader in life, especially when we’re doing hard things. The other role I take on is reflective mirror. In other words, I try to pay attention to students' gifts and talents and reflect that back to them regularly. I do this with my daughter and son, and with faculty now that I’m department head. I do this because growing up someone was always reflecting back to me what I was good at and pointing out my talents. This was crucial for me because, growing up in a working-class family and being a first-generation college student, I wasn’t so sure about my gifts and talents. I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would not be where I am today without reflective mirrors (mentors, friends, students, colleagues) showing me things about myself that I can’t always see.?

Because I take this approach to mentoring, I don’t necessarily know what lands and what doesn’t in terms of how I’ve helped my mentees develop professionally. As a result, I asked them. I’ve had the fortune of advising some pretty amazing students, many of whom have graduated with their doctorates and in successful careers in higher education.?

What are some elements of a successful mentor/mentee relationship?

I believe that mentoring is not a one-way street. Mentoring flows up and down. I learn as much from my students as they think they learn from me. They keep me humble and energized. I asked them what they think are elements of successful mentor/mentee relationship and I agree with what they’ve shared – much of which reflects the nature of our mentoring relationship.?

Dion Harry, 24’ PhD, Assistant Professor, Oklahoma State University

• A mentor being willing/open to learning from the mentee.
• Mutual respect?
• Every mentor is different and brings different values. A mentee has to learn how to think through that. One mentor can’t be your “all-and-all”. They’re not perfect, but they do provide skills, knowledge, etc. that can be helpful.?
• An ethic of care is needed on both parts.

Courtney Simpson, 24’ PhD, Senior Director, TRIO Collegiate and Pack Support Programs, North Carolina State University

• Collaborative problem-solving
• Encouragement (and grace) to set boundaries
• Transparency and an element of vulnerability
• Open communication

Jayla Moody, Doctoral Candidate, North Carolina State University?

• Extending care, kindness, and grace to each other?
• Setting tangible goals for the relationship and being clear about the steps to reach them?
• Seeing each other’s full humanity and valuing the other beyond their abilities and accomplishments
• Making yourself available to listen and support/showing up when needed
• Reciprocity?
• Checking in to assess the needs of the other to ensure that you are on the same page with communication

Callie Edwards, 18’ PhD, Director, Program Evaluation, and Education Research & Director of Strategic Initiatives, Friday Institute for Education and Innovation

• A truly successful mentor/mentee relationship is reciprocal.
• As much as I gain from the wisdom, guidance, and support of my mentor, I am intentional about giving back to my mentor in meaningful ways. I offer my own perspectives, support their initiatives, and/or contribute to projects where I can add value.
• Trust: Mutual trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. It creates a safe space where both mentor and mentee can share ideas, challenges, and vulnerabilities openly. This trust allows for honest, constructive feedback and supports both personal and professional growth.
• Compassion: Understanding and empathy are crucial. A mentor should show compassion for the mentee's struggles and challenges, recognizing that growth is a process. Similarly, as a mentee, I also show compassion for my mentor by acknowledging the time and effort they invest in our relationship and offering support wherever I can.
• Resource Sharing: A mentor provides access to knowledge, networks, and tools that help the mentee navigate their professional path. As a mentee, I try to reciprocate by sharing resources and insights when possible, ensuring that the relationship remains dynamic and beneficial for both parties.
• Honesty: Honest, constructive feedback is essential for development. Growth often comes from difficult conversations, and openness on both sides allows the relationship to evolve. I not only value the honest feedback from my mentor, but I also make an effort to provide thoughtful insights that may help them in their professional journey.
• Open Communication: Clear, ongoing communication is key to maintaining alignment between mentor and mentee. It ensures that any concerns or changes in direction are addressed promptly and that both parties remain in sync. This ongoing dialogue also nurtures the relationship, allowing it to flourish over time.

What is the most common but impactful piece of advice you impart to your mentees?

Apparently, I say things that stick with people! This is reflected in my mentees’ comments back to me and in other conversations I’ve had with faculty I’ve coached over the years. In fact, after one FSP session, one of the participants in my group sent everyone, including me, a mug of “sayings” that were imparted over the 12 week program. See below for advice that I’ve shared that has stuck with my mentees. I didn’t realize I’m such a poet!

Chelsea Smith, ‘23 PhD, Clinical Assistant Professor, William & Mary School of Education

If it costs you your peace, it’s not worth it!

Jayla Moody

"You can do hard things!"?

Faith and fear cannot coexist.

Courtney Simpson

Research is an iterative process! I use "iterative" every chance I can get. ??

To write better, you must read more...and actually write.

Callie Edwards

The importance of daily writing.

• It’s advice that I now share with my own students because of its profound impact.
• Short but frequent writing sessions. I’ve found that the development of ideas becomes much more fluid, and the daunting task of completing major works becomes more manageable.
• It’s increased my confidence as a writer, allowing me to tackle complex projects with greater ease and clarity.

Writing and thinking are interconnected processes, and this has helped me—and many others—overcome writing paralysis.

The importance of prioritizing self-care, a vital yet often overlooked element of sustaining a successful career.

Watching you, I’ve learned how essential it is to preserve time for rest and rejuvenation, even amidst demanding work.

How to maintain work-life balance.

The ability to "speak truth to power."

• Through your actions, I’ve learned the significance of standing up for oneself and others, especially when facing inequitable practices or inhumane behavior in professional settings.
• You’ve consistently demonstrated how to approach these difficult conversations with courage, integrity, and clarity of purpose.
• Advocating for fairness in a workplace or challenging practices that do not center humanity, you’ve shown me the power of leadership rooted in justice and fairness.?
• These are not just principles; they are actions you live by, and they have set an invaluable example for me.
• You’ve empowered me to advocate for myself and others in challenging situations.

A lesson in professional courage. This is something I carry with me as I continue to grow in my career, striving to emulate the same values of integrity, balance, and justice that you’ve so profoundly instilled in me.

• The role of a scholar and professional extends far beyond individual achievement.
• The responsibility to confront inequity, champion humanity, and foster inclusive, ethical environments where all voices are respected.

What about mentorship energizes you most?

I love seeing people achieve their goals—particularly goals they didn’t think they could achieve. That excites me and always will. Maybe because achieving against the odds has been the story of my life. It’s a reminder that people can do anything they set their minds to do. Everyone has a zone of genius, and it’s not one-size-fits-all. We all have unique gifts and talents. Intellect is not a birthright. With the right tools and under the right conditions, people can learn, think, and do extraordinary things—people can discover their genius through joy.??

How did you get involved with the Southern Regional Education Board: Institute on Teaching and Mentoring?

I became involved with the Institute on Teaching and Mentoring in two ways. First, when I was a faculty member, I recruited a student for doctoral study, Dr. Chelsea Smith, and she was awarded the SREB fellowship. Because I was her advisor and dissertation chair, I also served as her advisor for the fellowship program. Advisors are also invited to attend the institute with their students. A few years later, I recruited a second doctoral student, Dr. Dion Harry, who also received the SREB fellowship. Dion graduated in Spring 2024 with his Ph.D. I attended SREB with the two of them as well as other SREB scholars at NC State University.

The second way I became involved with SREB is through the NCFDD. NCFDD has been a sponsor of the Institute for many years. As a part of the sponsorship, NCFDD delivers workshops during the institute. Their founder, Kerry Ann, used to do them until she trained the first wave of campus workshop facilitators to do campus workshops in her stead. I was lucky enough to get the workshops for the Institute of Teaching and Mentoring. I did my first one in 2017 and have attended the institute every year since except for the years it was postponed due to COVID-19. I am elated that 2024 will be my 5th time attending and presenting at the Institute on Teaching and Mentoring.

What are some benefits of attending the Institute on Teaching and Mentoring?

The benefits for doctoral students attending the institute are too numerous to name them all. Research shows that scholars of color and women are underrepresented in STEM disciplines, with some disciplines like computer science and physics being the most severe. The Institute is beneficial because it provides professional development for graduate students, equipping them with the skills, tools, and networks to navigate and succeed in academia. More often than not, these scholars are the only students who look like them in their disciplines at their respective institutions. Coming to the Institute on Teaching and Mentoring is a rare opportunity to see, meet, and engage with other scholars of color. Seeing so many brilliant scholars of color in STEM disciplines in one place is a sight to behold. Moreover, recruiters attend the Institute on Teaching and Mentoring. There is a myth that the reason why there is no faculty diversity on college campuses is because there are no diverse faculty. The Institute on Teaching and Mentoring debunks this myth. It provides institutions who are serious about increasing faculty diversity an opportunity to engage with brilliant scholars who are in doctoral programs and completing doctoral degrees.?

What sets the Institute on Teaching and Mentoring apart from other professional development opportunities and conferences for graduate students?

The Institute on Teaching Mentoring is special because of the level of care and community created by people like Ansley Abraham and Robert Belle, and many others, who have poured their heart and soul into the Institute over the years. The institute started small and grew exponentially over the years because of their dedication, passion, and commitment to the vision of mentoring scholars of color. This is precisely what can happen when good people come together to create positive change in the lives of others. That’s truly what makes the Institute special and sets it apart from other conferences. Doctoral students feel this in how they are celebrated and poured into during the institute. I consider it a privilege and honor to play a small part in helping students succeed and it’s why I keep saying yes to attending year after year. I am honored to be in the room where genius and joy are happening!