Is Mentoring Enough for Women to Get into Leadership?

Everyone needs mentors to help them understand how to succeed. Initially, in the?Mad Men?days, as everyone succumbed to gender stereotypes, women didn’t receive mentoring in the business world and not surprisingly did not rise into leadership. Today, many more women have made it into the leadership ranks and mentoring women is understood to be important. We also understand now that having?sponsors?is at least as important as having mentors, and many companies and female leaders invest in making sure both happen. This is all good, but as a coach who talks to many of these mentored women on a regular basis, I’m here to tell you that our mentoring needs an upgrade.

******As a subscriber, you're eligible for more free resources from InPower Women. learn more. *****

Primarily, those who mentor women–the women and the men–need to have a solid understanding of the actual biases women face, and develop skills in helping them see and respond to those biases. Why is this important? Why isn’t just sharing your own experience enough to help your protegé? Your experience matters, but if you’re not careful, and take the time to understand your own biases as well as others your protegé may be experiencing, you can help in perpetuating the very biases you’re trying to help a woman overcome.

?How not to perpetuate #unconsciousbias against #women: get smart about what it looks like to help everyone spot it when it happens.?

Looking back on it, I realize my own mentors suffered from a lack of understanding about women and bias. And so, therefore, did I. Over time as I learned more about unconscious bias and the many forms it takes, I became smarter about spotting it and addressing it. I’m sure I still miss a lot of it, but based on the research, we all have a lot more to learn.

Below are a few of the key learnings I believe every mentor should know when helping mentor women to success.

Things to help your protege

Research continues to validate that women experience the effects of stereotype and bias from everyone in their organization, women and men alike. Many women have also internalized these biases and may not be aware that the “truths” they take for granted about both their strengths and weaknesses may be little more than unfounded beliefs.

As a mentor, your job is to help your female protegé see the biases they experience (internally and externally) and challenge them in ways that are authentic and likely to result in success. To do this, you need to rely on your own understanding of the organizational culture and experience, but be sure you’re not falling into some of these traps yourself.

Here are some common truths we need to understand more deeply, for ourselves and those we mentor:

• The most precarious?promotion opportunity?isn't the leap into executive leadership, it’s the rise into first line management (called the?Broken Rung), when a woman is much more likely to lose out on leadership opportunities than she will later in her career.
• It’s not her imagination when your protege feels she’s in a?no-win situation?where she is accused of being “too soft” and when she becomes more assertive is called the B-word. Women experience a?double standard stereotype?when it comes to their leadership style.
• Leadership stereotypes?that favor “masculine” expressions of leadership (e.g., assertiveness, execution skills, charisma, ambition etc.) disadvantage women in many ways, including reducing the chances that they will be?offered promotions for their potential, in addition to their actual performance. When she learns to speak to her own potential, she can help counter this effect.
• The?imposter syndrome?is real, for women and men alike. However,?it’s not a “condition”?she is stuck with, but a mindset she can change with experience and support from people like you. Help her understand that everyone feels like they’re faking it when they take on new challenges and as she gains experience and allows herself to feel successful she will grow into her more capable identity and confidence.
• Women do face more?stress related to work-life, bearing more of the burden for home and family care than many of the men in their lives. This is?deserving of your empathy, but not your protection. Don’t fall prey to the misguided assumption that you can protect her by denying her information or encouragement to go after stretch assignments, if she wants them. Make her aware and let her decide.
• Women often struggle to gain the kind of?visibility that leads to promotions?and leadership opportunities. In helping her become visible, make sure she’s not accepting the kinds of assignments, often called?office housework, that don’t afford her the opportunity to shine and demonstrate clear contribution to mission-critical business results.?

What if you have a mentor who doesn't’ seem up to speed on these kinds of issues? How can you make sure you’re getting the best mentoring? The best thing to do is get smart yourself about the challenges you face in the workplace and educate them.

Here are a couple of InPower Coaching resources to help:

• Fact Sheet: Men Think There is More Gender Equality Than Women Do
• Guide: Women in Leadership (latest edition)

If your mentor is not open to being educated, get a new mentor.

Mentoring Women to Greatness [Mastermind Zoom] October 19, 2022@ 12-1pm eastern - What advice do you wish your mentors had to give you? What advice do you give? How can mentors help women understand and deal with bias more effectively? LEARN MORE & REGISTER

Dana Theus

Executive Coach

InPower Coaching

******As a subscriber, you're eligible for more free resources from InPower Women. learn more. *****