Mentor People

Welcome to the new installment of?The Leader’s Toolbox,?my Linkedin Newsletter.?In each monthly edition, I'll share thoughts, actionable tips, and advice to help you thrive anywhere.?

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In this?episode? of my podcast, my guest?Rami Kaibni said:?“through mentoring I've met so many people and two people were basically my?mentors?throughout all my journey and they helped me on a personal and professional level.”

Mentoring was a kind of foreign word for me until I took part in a corporate program as a mentee. I’d been waiting for it for a while, and saw it as a silver bullet—giving me all the answers to my career questions. Going into it with so many expectations, unsurprisingly I was disappointed.

A few months later, a younger colleague abroad I worked with asked me: “Can you mentor me?”.

I was surprised. I asked myself: “What people can learn from me?”

I was flattered.

I was also a bit stressed: “Will I be able to answer all the questions?”

I answered “yes” and never regretted it. Since then, I have mentored other people.

Based on these experiences, I’d like to share some insights.

What is mentoring?

Mentoring can take various forms. Sometimes it is providing support by email. Sometimes you can send relevant content that could resonate with what you’ve discussed with your mentee. Your mentee may need a contact to dive into a topic or to think of the next step.

As Deborah Heiser, PhD , founder of the Mentor Project, puts it: “Mentoring is a relationship”.

It is a way to share information, knowledge and experiences.

As a mentor, it is not about devoting huge numbers of hours to mentoring, and it isn’t about answering all the questions. It's just about being available to share your experiences and pitfalls.

Why is being a mentor worthwhile?

Through mentoring, I have learned a lot. I have met new people. I have thought about my experiences in a different light. I have improved my active listening skills. I have been able to share knowledge and experiences, hoping it will help others to progress.

Mentoring is more than just a line in a LinkedIn profile. Taking the time to listen and help can make a huge difference.

What are the conditions of being a successful mentor?

You have to define some ground rules with your mentee, such as:

• Expectations
• Confidentiality
• Duration and frequency of meetings
• Who will organize the meetings?

These ground rules will create psychological safety.

But these alone are not enough.

4 Pitfalls to avoid

Be cautious of the context

You may want to give advice based on your experiences, but are your experiences relevant to the context of your mentee? Will your advice help the mentee?

While asking a mentor for advice and using them as a filter can be effective, it can also shut down ideas or lead in the wrong direction. We often receive advice based on ‘that’s what worked for me’ – which is idiosyncratic to the respective person’s situation, and not necessarily useful for someone’s living reality.- Dr Christian Busch in The Serendipity Mindset: The Art and Science of Creating Good Luck

Moving the meetings

You are busy. The mentee is busy. Both of you are busy.

You may need to move a meeting with your mentee because you have too much work or a personal emergency. But moving the meeting frequently will harm the trusting relationship you are building. Perhaps the mentee is waiting impatiently to get your perspective on a topic. Perhaps the mentee will interpret it as a lack of interest on your part.

Carve out time and try to stick to it.

Talking too much

When I am asked a question, I am tempted to answer with a never-ending story and never-ending sentences. Being a mentor has forced me to listen to the mentee – and to my own voice. I force myself to answer what is asked, without launching into a monologue.

Not keeping your word

I have a notebook where I take notes about the achievements and issues shared. I also make a note of anything I have promised to do. During the working day, we often promise to send an email or a file, or introduce someone to a contact, and we try our best to do it. In the context of mentoring, for me, it is even more important to keep my word to my mentee.

So next time someone asks you “Can you mentor me?”, think twice before saying no!

What are your tips and advice for mentoring? I look forward to reading them.

You can?download ? your call to action memo. You'll learn, you'll move forward, you'll thrive.

See you next month!

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May you and your family stay healthy and happy -

Yasmina