...MENTOR GIRLFRIENDS...
A few weeks ago I was driving to a business appointment and was thinking about mentoring. After mulling over the topic for a bit, the following thought stuck with me: are mentors like girlfriends (or boyfriends if that is your preference)?
I came to this thought based off of what I have experienced, and heard from many others. It seems as if the majority of us all are open, and in some cases actively looking, to finding a mentor, be a mentor or both. If this is truly the case, then how come they are so hard to find?
In previous places of employment we instituted mentor programs to help new employees ramp up quickly, and provide a way for experienced employees with a way to share their knowledge and growth. In every instance the mutually beneficial relationships benefited both parties for all the advertised reasons.
Again, if this is the case with mentoring, as numerous studies have shown, then where have all the good mentors gone? Over a number of years, I have made myself available as a mentor, and reached out on multiple occasions to offer support to others. Additionally, I have searched for someone I can look up to and learn from, but in both cases the other party is not interested, or just to busy. As dating advise suggests; maybe I should stop looking for a mentor, and one will find me when I least expect it? And long distance relationships do not work. Or maybe it is me. Could I be trying to hard? Should I lower my standards? Even worse am I pushing them away or not seeing them to begin with? I would like to think it is not one of these, besides 'even the blind squirrel finds an acorn every once in a while' right!?!
Unfortunately, in my previous experience the only way to have a successful mentoring program in the workplace was to incentivize the mentor. This was enough to take a willing mentor and pair them up with a willing mentee. There was no dance, no dating and in some cases little compatibility testing. In each case both parties came out better than before, and some of these pairing chose to continue on beyond the compensation window.
I have heard of instances where mentoring is alive and well, and at least one party is happy with the results. I have yet to meet with both parties and ask them the important questions on how the relationship began, and what is the key to maintaining it. If you are one of these people, I would love to hear from you, and if possible your mentor/mentee on what the keys are to establishing a mentoring relationship, topics of discussion and ways to maintain in a world full of distractions.If the answer is money, then I guess that is the answer, but I find it deeply troubling that we are not willing to the take to support others with the best of who we are without being compensated for it. Or conversely, if another is willing to share and pour into us are we doing everything we can to hear? I look forward to your comments, offers and advice below.
As for me, I have begun my quest, and have met some great people along the way. I have yet to string together a regular series of meetings in a one on one setting, but I am still searching/open for those 'acorns' out there for me...