Mentee Musings’ in Corporate

When you look at being 10 years in an industry, you feel like you have lived a little. You are no longer the wide-eyed novice that you once were when you started but then you can’t really compete with the real veterans. You don’t know everything but you do know 'somethings'.

You are the equivalent of an adolescent in corporate, filled with new ideas. Eager to act. Wanting it now. With no idea of what is it that you want. The rebellion without a cause. Questioning everything, anything, all the time. Not only are you a pain-in-the-ass by definition, you also are at the cusp of outgrowing your mentors.

Mentorship is often seen as a guiding force in one’s professional career—a relationship built on trust, learning, and mutual respect. Moreover, this is just as serious as any other romantic relationship in other aspects of life.

While mentees typically look up to their mentors, they learn to pick up on their ideology, beliefs and behaviour patterns. One often start associating the benchmark of good versus bad behaviour based on what one observes.

You observe, experience and learn - how to deal with situations politely but firmly, how to negotiate with clients, how to build trust, how to build confidence within yourself, how to deal with failure, and much more.

However, what happens when that respect begins to erode? Certain workplace dynamics can shift this admiration into frustration, disengagement, or even resentment. For many young professionals, resentment towards their mentor can develop over time, fuelled by unmet expectations, poor communication, and a lack of mutual respect.

The Silent Drift: When Mentees Begin to Lose Respect

A mentor-mentee relationship should evolve over time, but when a mentee begins to match their mentor in knowledge or skill, respect can fade. If the mentor fails to acknowledge this growth and instead clings to authority, the mentee may start to feel disconnected.

Most mentor-mentee relationships are focused on growth of the mentee, but it is not a one-sided path. Mentors too need to growth in their own path just as much. While most times they provide guidance, they sometimes need to seek guidance too. They need to be just as vulnerable as their mentees.

In some generic descriptions and in-real-life examples, I tried to articulate the viewpoints of the mentees. You may find yourself relating to one or all of them. Or feeling cast onto the other side of the table as a mentor, looking at all the expectations your mentee might expect from you.

1. Leaving the comfort zone

A mentor is expected to provide wisdom and industry insights. One of the most common advice is ‘move outside your comfort zone’. A mentor usually challenges their mentee, bigger tasks, more independence, higher difficulty. All of which helps the mentee to grow. These challenges are often things that mentors have experienced themselves in their past. Which is why mentors always have solutions, or an optimization suggestion and can help the mentee navigate the waters.

Over time this helps the mentee gain confidence and deliver results. However, when this growth stagnates and there is no new learning. It can lead to awkwardness and inertia. Any prolonged state of stalemate therefore can lead to frustration.

IRL: A 27-year-old software engineer, Priya, had been working under her mentor, Ramesh, a senior architect with 15 years of experience. When Priya joined the team, Ramesh constantly challenged her with complex projects, encouraging her to explore new frameworks and architectures. This guidance helped her grow rapidly, and within three years, she became a key contributor to the team’s success.

However, as Priya's skills advanced, she noticed that Ramesh’s challenges remained the same—repetitive optimization tasks and minor feature updates. Whenever Priya suggested experimenting with cloud-native solutions or AI-driven automation, Ramesh dismissed them citing deadlines and budget constraints.

Initially, Priya respected Ramesh’s caution, but as time passed, she felt restricted rather than challenged. Her growth stagnated, and her enthusiasm waned. The mentor who once pushed her outside her comfort zone was now the one holding her back.

2. Practice what you preach

In the corporate world, a mentee is typically a decade younger than their mentor, eager to absorb knowledge and guidance. However, as they grow professionally, certain behaviors and experiences can cause them to question their mentor’s influence. Especially if they see their mentor not practice what they preach.

Meaning any behaviour or action by the mentor that diverges from their lessons. Mentees, like children, read into the non-verbal cues just as much as the rule book. Any dissonance that contradicts the teachings feels like a failure to talk-the-talk or walk-the-walk. Hypocrisy dilutes trust and can lead to loss of existing respect not just the lack of it.

IRL: Megha, a 28-year-old marketing specialist, was mentored by her department head, Anil, a seasoned professional known for his strategic thinking. Anil frequently emphasized the importance of accountability, advising Megha to own her work, take responsibility for mistakes, and always be honest with clients.

However, during a major product launch, a critical error in the marketing campaign resulted in misleading information being shared with customers. When the executive team questioned Anil about the mistake, he quickly deflected blame, stating, “Megha was responsible for reviewing the final draft. This was her oversight.” In reality, Megha had raised concerns about the messaging, but Anil had dismissed them, insisting the campaign move forward as planned.

Witnessing her mentor evade responsibility while shifting blame onto her shattered Megha’s respect for him. She realized that his leadership advice was performative rather than practiced.

3. Exploitation Disguised as Mentorship

A mentor-mentee relationship should be built on mutual growth, with the mentor providing guidance, sharing knowledge, and creating opportunities for the mentee to advance in their career. However, in some cases, mentorship becomes a tool for exploitation delegating mundane tasks that do not contribute to skill development or career progression.

This type of exploitation often begins subtly. A mentor may initially assign small tasks under the guise of "helping them learn the basics." Over time, the workload increases, but the nature of tasks remains clerical or redundant—fixing minor bugs, proofreading reports, or setting up presentations. While these tasks may be part of a mentee’s early learning experience, if they become the primary responsibility without any growth opportunities, it signals a red flag.

IRL: A junior developer, Raj, was eager to learn from his mentor, a senior engineer named Arvind. At first, Raj was given debugging assignments and documentation tasks, which he saw as stepping stones toward more technical projects. However, months passed, and instead of working on real development tasks, Raj found himself stuck handling Arvind’s repetitive responsibilities—updating spreadsheets, creating progress reports, and even fixing issues in Arvind’s code without credit.

Whenever Raj expressed his desire to work on more complex coding challenges, Arvind dismissed his concerns, saying, “This is part of the learning process. You need to understand every detail before writing real code.” Raj soon realized that this wasn’t mentorship. He felt undervalued and used. The arrangement benefited the company and the project while offering little to no learning to himself.

True mentorship involves pushing a mentee to grow, not holding them back for temporary convenience. When learning stops and exploitation begins, the relationship loses its value, leading to frustration and resentment.

4. Lack of Investment in the Mentee’s Growth

Mentorship should be a meaningful relationship where a mentor actively contributes to their mentee’s development. However, when a mentor is indifferent to a mentee’s aspirations, avoids offering constructive feedback, or provides only surface-level guidance, the relationship becomes transactional rather than transformational.

One of the primary reasons for this issue is the fear of competition. Some mentors hesitate to fully invest in their mentees, worried that they may eventually outshine them or even take their job. Instead of fostering growth, they withhold key insights, give only vague advice, and fail to provide real opportunities for advancement.

Additionally, in corporate settings, mentorship is often expected from leaders, not as a genuine responsibility but as a checkbox for career progression. Many senior employees engage in mentorship because it looks good on their performance reviews, helps them gain favor with management, or boosts their professional reputation. As a result, they take on multiple mentees without a real commitment to any of them, offering generic advice that lacks substance.

IRL: Neha, a young business analyst, was excited when she was assigned a mentor, Rohan, a senior manager with years of experience. Initially, Neha looked forward to learning from him, expecting career guidance and skill-building opportunities. However, their mentorship meetings felt rushed, with Rohan offering cliché advice like, “Work hard, and success will follow.” Whenever Neha sought deeper insights or project opportunities, Rohan responded vaguely or directed her to self-learning resources without meaningful discussions.

Neha later discovered that Rohan had multiple mentees and was mentoring them primarily for leadership recognition. His lack of genuine investment became evident when he forgot key details about Neha’s career goals and challenges.

A true mentor is not just a title-holder but someone who actively nurtures and elevates their mentee’s growth. Without genuine investment, mentorship loses its impact, leaving mentees disillusioned and searching for real guidance.

5. Micro-aggressions and passive aggressive behavior

Mentorship is supposed to be a stable, encouraging, and growth-oriented relationship. However, inconsistent behaviour in the mentor can confuse the mentee. Mentors often juggle multiple responsibilities—managing their own workload, meeting deadlines, and handling leadership duties. As a result, their availability, attitude, and level of engagement with their mentees can fluctuate dramatically.

While occasional lapses are understandable, frequent inconsistencies can manifest as microaggressions and passive-aggressive behavior, undermining the mentee’s confidence. One moment, they may praise the mentee’s ideas; the next, they may criticize them for not following instructions correctly. Sometimes, they may subtly imply that the mentee isn’t doing enough, even when they are meeting expectations. These unpredictable shifts make it difficult for the mentee to understand where they stand, leading to self-doubt and anxiety.

IRL: Rahul, a 29-year-old product designer, was excited to be mentored by Meera, a senior design director known for her expertise. At first, Meera was approachable and enthusiastic, encouraging Rahul to share his creative ideas. She would compliment his work, telling him he had great potential. However, as time passed, Rahul noticed a troubling pattern. Some days, Meera would be friendly and collaborative, but on others, she would be curt and dismissive.

One afternoon, Rahul presented a design concept, and Meera responded enthusiastically, saying, “This is fantastic! I love your creativity.” The next week, when Rahul refined the concept based on her feedback, she barely glanced at it and snapped, “This isn’t what I asked for. You need to start listening properly.” Confused and frustrated, Rahul began second-guessing himself, unsure if he was genuinely improving or not.

Over time, this inconsistent treatment took a toll on Rahul’s confidence and enthusiasm. He became hesitant to share ideas, fearing unpredictable criticism. Eventually, he realized that mentorship should not feel like emotional whiplash.

Breaking the Cycle: How to Maintain Mutual Respect

The breakdown of respect in mentorship is not inevitable. Both mentors and mentees can take proactive steps to ensure the relationship remains beneficial and fulfilling:

• For Mentors: Encourage independence, let mentee’s disagree, be authentic, embrace change, and recognise when your mentee has valuable insights. Acknowledge their growth and provide constructive, actionable guidance.
• For Mentees: Communicate your needs clearly, observe both words and action, speak up and set boundaries, and seek multiple perspectives to ensure continuous learning.
• For Organizations: Create mentorship programs that include feedback mechanisms, ensuring that both mentors and mentees are held accountable for a positive, respectful relationship.

The reality is not about right or wrong. It is simply the process of outgrowing the confines of the mentor-mentee relationship. Growth requires change. Recognizing when a mentorship has run its course is not a failure—it’s a sign of progress. Moving on allows both the mentee and mentor to evolve and seek new, valuable learning experiences.