Mentally Strong - Keep Control

Second day back and if you missed yesterday, I'm going to be blogging this month on things Mentally Strong people do.

I used to think that everyone had their life under control and that no one ever had any problems in life, it was just me. Until one day I woke up and realised I wasn't the only one with insecurities, fears and doubts about who I am. It was a surreal feeling to discover that if everyone was feeling like me then what was I so worried about. It actually made me feel empowered.

The second thing mentally strong people do is

"They keep control. They don't give away their power."

I've been reflecting on this one overnight and realised I don't think I do this consciously enough. And also there is a number of ways to interpret this point.

They keep control or they take control?

The word keep is in the past whereas take is in the now. Keeping control infers they have already taken it. So let's talk from the keeping aspect.

To keep control would mean it is important to maintain your position and to never give it away. Too many times I think we can find it easier to give away our power and let others over rule us or let them rail road our ideas. It's important to maintain your position and never give away what power you may have.

What can we control?

Keep control over your mind. Your mind can play some funny tricks on you. Thinking things that aren't actually real. Thinking people are saying stuff about you when they aren't. Thinking that people are looking at you and judging you when they may simply be reflecting on their own life.

Your mind is the easiest thing that can get out of control, so it becomes the number one thing you need to keep control of. There is nothing wrong with telling yourself something positive and telling yourself often enough that you believe it, even if you think others won't. "I am a good person", "I can do this" or "I am loved" are just a few examples of positive things you can train your mind to speak to you, rather than the negative thoughts of "I can't do this". My Nan used to always tell me there is no such word as can't in the dictionary so take it out of your thought patterns.

Keep control over your words. There is power in words, both negative and positive. You've heard of the saying "if you have nothing good to say, then say nothing at all". I heard a better version recently that says "if you have nothing good to say, then try harder to find something". We can all do better at speaking positive words into each other's lives.

We've become a society where curse words are used in everyday language which belittles the words really, however, by doing this, the power in the words get lost as well. The words we need to use more regularly and give power back to are the courtesy words such as please, thank you, hello and what about "after you". There is always more power in being polite than being crude.

Keep control over your actions. Another popular saying is "Actions speak louder than words", a saying my husband likes to use on me. It simply means that it can sometimes be easier to blow up and tear the room apart than to take control of the emotions and not let that anger over take you. You give your power away when you let emotions overtake you with anger and you either end up assaulting someone or causing destruction. (By the way this wasn't what my husband was referring to me about)

On the positive side, it's better to go and do the good deed rather than talk about doing it. And doing something positive without being asked to do it is way more powerful. We don't always need to be acknowledged so don't get dismayed if no one noticed you doing something good the first time round, just keep doing good. Doing good for others can be so rewarding. (He was referring to me cleaning the kitchen more).

So I said in the beginning I don't do this consciously enough. By that I mean I have been conscious about it in my earlier life that now it's become second nature to me.

When I find myself having negative thoughts I consciously stop and talk myself through into positive thoughts. When I'm in a situation of speaking with others in delicate situations I'm consciously thinking before I speak. And when I'm in situations I know an action is required I'm doing my best to do good.

You can become mentally strong when you can take control over your circumstances but more importantly, you become mentally strengthened when you keep control and you don't give your power away.