#MentalHealthAtWork

Sometimes I ask myself if LinkedIn is the right place to talk about these things. Then I remember we're all people, and mental health greatly influences how we work and live our lives. I feel the more open and vulnerable we are can help others feel comfortable in doing so.?So here's a little bit of my mental health journey.

During college I developed pretty intense anxiety. It never was in my head, strictly bodily responses. My heart rate was the most noticeable and scary part. I had no idea why it would happen as my brain gave me zero signals of what was going on. One night at home with my mom I started to black out on the couch. At the time I thought I was having a heart attack or dying for some reason, so my mom took me to the ER. After hours and hours checking me they told me I had a panic attack. They gave me pamphlets, told me to reach out to my PCP, and sent me on my way. I wished I sought help at that time 6 years ago, but I just pretended it didn't happen and moved on.?

The rest of college and beginning of my "adult years" were spent abusing alcohol as a way to cope. It was easy to hide in college, then the years after I spent denying I had a problem.?

2 years ago today I emailed my therapist for the first time. I still didn't make an appointment till many many weeks later, telling myself on and off I didn't need it, it wasn't that bad yet, etc.?

August 28, 2020 I had my first therapy appointment. What a relief it was to finally have help. I thank the Universe everyday that my therapist Sarah came into my life. I learned healthy strategies to cope, how to get my brain to connect to my body, and so much more. We made a lot of progress, and about a year later she told me she was noticing signs of depression.?

The anxiety was more under control, but then I battled with hopelessness, loss of appetite, loss of interest in things I loved, fighting to get out of bed or even move at all. I remember laying on the couch one night in my apartment really believing I was losing my mind. I had a terrible headache and it felt like I was spiraling in this black hole that sucked me further into the couch unable to think straight. I was truly afraid I was going crazy.?

1 year ago around this time I started taking an antidepressant. For so long I didn't want to take medicine but I had to try something. I've had a couple dosing changes since then but I can confidently say the combination of therapy and medication changed my life.?

I feel like me again and I feel like the best version of me I've ever been.

I had my 3-month check up with my psychiatrist today and a therapy appointment yesterday. The last couple times?I've seen them both they've told me "so it sounds like you're living your best life." My psychiatrist told me she was proud of me. My therapist said I sound the best I've ever been and she's proud of how hard I've worked to get here. I am so proud of myself. I dreamed of being where I am today. A healthy relationship with exercise, food, alcohol, friends, family, work, and everything else that makes up our lives. It only gets better from here. I am so happy that I reached out those two years ago. I honestly don't know where I would be today if I kept going down the path I was on.

It's okay to need help. It's okay to take medications. It's okay to not want to take medications. It's okay to need a therapist. I think/hope we're past the days that this is a shameful topic. We all have our journeys.?

If I can be a sounding board for anyone who might be struggling, feel free to message me. I'm here to listen. I know how hard it can be.

Some resources below if you're looking for professional help: