Mental Strength Through Self-Belief
Strive for authenticity vs. approval
Here's an unfortunate truth.?When you seek approval, you are seeking external validation,?an empty victory at best?and an elusive soul-crushing pursuit at worst.?Your craving for acceptance causes you?to change who you are and how you act.?It's a trap mentally-strong,?self-confident people simply don't fall into.?
Instead, center on staying true to your authentic self.?For help, keep these three things in mind.?First, don't lose sight of your values.?Values are those little things you do each day?that exemplify who you are, the arm around your character,?guiding you down the right path.?They're your anchor, something that steadies you?and won't change when so much else does.?A core value of mine, for example, is kindness.?
It shapes how I live my life?and, as a value, helps me turn guesses?about what I should do into good decisions.?Less than half of us know?our most closely-held, non-negotiable values.?No worries, here's help.?Giving you, a comprehensive step?by step process for identifying your values.?Articulate them, live in support of them,?not in spite of them, and return to them repeatedly?as a reserve of mental strength to draw upon when needed.?
Second, stop people-pleasing.?While you admirably give of yourself when people-pleasing,?you're giving away more than you realize.?You sacrifice the power of sharing the authentic you.?For example, you suppress your voice?and what you're really thinking in a meeting.?You avoid confrontation, missing the opportunity?to change a situation for the better?to please others, gain approval and be liked.?You say yes to yet another request?when inside your screaming, no way.?You act like a robotic version of you,?not the real version of you.?
To help overcome all of this, repeat one sentence?when you feel your people-pleasing habits surfacing.?Say this to yourself.?Think of the you-niverse, not the universe.?It's a self reminder to stop trying to be everything?for everybody in a bid for acceptance.?Start with you, set healthy boundaries?and take care of your needs first.?That way, you stay balanced, energized?and better able to serve others in a more authentic way?and ask yourself if constantly trying?to make others happy is really worth sacrificing?your own happiness.?It doesn't mean you suddenly become selfish.?People-pleasing behavior itself is selfish?because you're doing what's easiest?and are withholding the benefit?of your real thoughts and talents.?
Finally, stop asking for permission.?I'm not talking about being insubordinate.?I mean, just make that decision.?Assume that role, do your homework, then go for it.?Move forward without looking over your shoulder.?Be respectful, and you'll learn where?the boundaries of your autonomy are.?You probably have more room?to maneuver than you think you do.?At work, I used to say to my team,?home builders need a permit for everything. Business builders don't. You get the idea.?It's about valuing progress over approval.?So be confident these three strategies?will build your self-confidence and mental strength.