Mental Strength Through Perspective

Handle criticism effectively

Author Marie Forleo asks,?on your deathbed,?will you say,?whew, I avoided criticism??Probably not.?

The truth is if you want to make an impact in life,?you'll be criticized occasionally.?Anything worth doing attracts admiration and criticism.?Avoiding criticism is what makes you weaker,?not the criticism itself?if you know how to handle it.?Do so by following The Criticism Critical Path,?four steps to effectively deal with criticism.?

Step one, and this might surprise you,?is first decide who gets to criticize you.?Not all criticism is created equal.?Not everybody gets a seat at this table.?For example, your boss, some coworkers, your spouse,?they get a say.?But Carlos in accounting or your judgey sister-in-law,?for example,?they don't make the cut.?The point is don't give unwarranted influence?to those who shouldn't have it.?Especially when research shows we are four times more likely?to remember criticism?than we are praise.?I'm not saying limit those that you'll accept criticism?from so much?that you deprive yourself of potentially valuable feedback.?Just be intentional.?Set criteria for who qualifies?then mentally dismiss the rest.?

Step two, neutralize your first reaction and just listen.?It's human nature.?That moment you're receiving the criticism,?your heart races,?defensiveness kicks in.?It hurts.?In fact, the brain registers physical pain?in the same region it does social rejection.?So criticism could actually seem to sting.?As the criticism comes in,?quietly, take a deep, slow breath and just listen.?Emotional reactions won't help.?Imagine a camera filming you?with a world watching you,?you'd want to come across as a cool calm character, right??

Step three, find the nugget.?Imagine a holding a strainer through which criticism flows,?sifting it to find the nugget of truth?which most criticism contains.?This is the disguised gift you're being given.?It may not feel like it in the moment?but criticism is a treasure?if you're mentally strong enough to see it that way.?For example, maybe in all that hard to hear feedback?that you are a poor communicator?lies a gem about how to get your ideas across more clearly.?The point is,?let criticism feed you,?not your insecurities.?

Last, step four, stop the spiral.?Don't replay criticism repeatedly in your head,?obsessing and beating yourself up over it.?Set aside the content of the criticism?and consider the intent of the criticism.?It was likely intended to help you.?Even if it wasn't,?know that while you can't change the words spoken to you,?you can assign the meaning you give them.?You can rise above any words.?As Eleanor Roosevelt said,?"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."?It also helps to ask yourself,?what would I rather have happened??Would I rather be judged or ignored??

If you want to make an impact,?criticism is inevitable and, unfortunately,?what others risk?by criticizing you is tiny compared?to what you risk by putting yourself out there.?No one said it was fair,?but don't ever let that stop you.?Use The Criticism Critical Path to keep moving forward.