Mental strength for success

Mental strength for success

Avoid demotivating language

Ever know someone at work or in general?who said things that had a way of deflating you??I know I have, but the thing is,?mentally strong people just don't do this.?They make a habit of being disciplined?and emotionally intelligent with their words.?I asked 3,000 respondents what were the most?demotivating things people had said to them at work,?or in general.?

I discovered the Eight to Eliminate,?eight things you'll never hear a mentally strong person say?and what to say instead.?

Number one, "It's your fault."?Mentally strong people don't pass blame onto others,?they show belief in others.?They don't judge, they jump to defend.?If someone said to you, it's your fault,?you couldn't help but be defensive.?Don't raise defenses, lower them?and move discussion forward.?Instead, say, "This didn't go as hoped.?"What should we do next?"?

Two, "I don't care."?I'm not talking about indifference?towards something trivial.?I mean saying these words to intentionally show?no interest in a point, emotion,?or circumstance of importance to someone else.?It's lazy and disrespectful.?Instead, say, "I hear you and understand?"why that's important to you."?

Three, "That's your problem, not mine."?Being mentally strong means resisting the temptation?to dodge responsibility, while having empathy for others?and their problems and wanting to help in some way,?even if it's just to let that person know?they're not alone.?Instead, say, "How can I help?"?

Next up, "I'll do it myself."?You can't say this without sounding?frustrated or condescending, as if the other person?must be incompetent and only you have the skills?to get the job done.?Instead, say, "Is there anything I could specifically do?"to lend a hand?"?

Number five, "I don't care what anyone thinks."?Actually, mentally strong people have enough self-awareness?to understand they can benefit from different perspectives?and enough self-confidence to handle disagreement,?using it to make the best decision possible.?Instead, say, "I have a strong point of view?"but am willing to get input that could change my thinking."?

Six, "Because I said so."?This might work with children, but to adults,?it says, I'm in charge, which, if you have to say,?it means you're not really in charge?and it fosters resentment.?Instead, say, "Here's why it's important to do this."?

Number seven, "Failure's not an option."?Maybe not, but saying it this way?kills innovation and risk-taking?and causes people to bury problems and the truth.?Instead, say, "What's our backup plan?"in case this doesn't work?"?

And finally, "You failed."?I bet the person already knows they failed?and doesn't need a harsh reminder.?The mentally strong resist the temptation?to lash out at failure,?building up versus tearing down.?Instead, say, "What did you learn from this?"and what could you do differently next time?"?

So be strong enough to choose your words wisely.?It's the wisest thing you'll do all day.