‘Mental load’ and the power of permissive brands

‘Mental load’ keeps coming up in our research these days. It’s not new, of course; we’ve been hearing for ages about the stress, not just of organising, planning and managing everything in our lives, but of constantly being aware of what needs to be done, who needs what, and how everything interconnects (or doesn’t).

The mental ‘to do’ list can lead not just to stress, anxiety and feelings of inadequacy, but also to low mood or depression, burnout and physical ill health. And it's getting worse.

It's not only women

There’s much talk - and some stats - around how women (especially mums and, even more so, mums who work) carry more of the mental load. Ask what that mental load is and they tell us it’s the mental load of…. EVERYTHING. And this has definitely become more intense of late, in the omnipresence of everyone else’s curated social media ‘reality’, showing us all those things we should be doing, thinking and feeling (and while I'm on the topic, I hear that ‘UnPerfect: A Busy Mom's Guide to Seeking Purpose over Perfection’, by Deanna Pecina and Erica Akingboye and available from Amazon here is a great read for busy mums).

But we’re seeing it among men too. There are just so many ‘shoulds’....

Shoulda, coulda got up early / exercised / set myself some goals / started a new company / meditated / romanced my partner / looked after the kids / oh, and lived in the moment and danced like nobody was watching while I was at it too.

And fuelled by all of this, we’re seeing a lot of love for permissive brands.

It's not just about empathy and encouragement

Brands that show empathy by acknowledging the problem of mental load, and cultivate an environment of acceptance and understanding, can get attention and generate a sense of community. The caveat being that focusing on ‘the problem’ can backfire (for example, we see increasing pushback when insight statements talk about what’s wrong with people’s lives, as it’s bad enough knowing you have a problem without having your face rubbed in it).

But ultimately it’s not enough just to say ‘I see you’ or ‘I get you’ or ‘we’re all in this together’.

Brands need to provide a solution.

True permissive brands solve the problem

True permissive brands are those that don’t just allow but also enable people to prioritise their well-being and wishes over the unrealistic expectations of a “do it all” culture.

The way they do this might be functional, emotional, or both.

4 ways to offer functional permission

Some of the ways a brand might offer functional permission might be:

1. Simplifying choices to reduce cognitive effort. For example 宜家 offering student packs with all the essentials needed for university in a preprepared package, Huel and AG1 taking the thinking out of nutrition and supplements with an all-in-one solution. Or (my personal favourite), the all-in monthly vet payment with alerts that mean you don’t have to remember jabs, check-ups or even trimming their claws.
2. Reducing the sheer amount of stuff to think about and do, the obvious example being recipe boxes like Gousto that simplify planning, shopping and cooking at the same time as making us feel good and be the ‘better people’ we want to be by enabling us to eat / serve home-cooked, fresh food and reduce waste. Curated clothing boxes like Lookiero and OUTFITTERY are another great example of services that take the time and effort out of our ‘ordinary’ decisions, while injecting an element of surprise and delight, too.
3. Making it flexible with customisable products or on-demand options that we can adapt to our own unique needs and schedules – especially appealing if we have multiple responsibilities. Subscriptions we can pause, increase or stop at will, like DASH Water , The Turmeric Co. and countless others, or high street gyms PureGym that allow us not just to pause but also to upgrade, do digital classes, use gyms in other cities, or take a friend.
4. Enabling people to ‘let off steam’ with products and services that help us to forget the daily mountain of cr*p to think about and escape into a world in which they don’t matter. Things that bring out the kid in us or let us be silly. No small wonder that hen parties have escalated into the whole-weekend, fun-filled extravaganzas they now frequently are (shameless plug here for my bestie Renee Binyon 's ‘posh frocks and wellies’ hen weekends at https://www.weekendinthecountry.co.uk/ ). Or that soft play centres for adults and Ballie Ballerson ball pit cocktail bars are doing a roaring trade. The mental load makes adulting hard, so it's great to simply stop doing it for a while.

5 ways to give emotional permission

Many of the functional solutions are product solutions, but there’s also great power in the more intangible, emotional permission space that is more the preserve of positioning and comms. Things like:

1. Promoting realistic expectations: presenting ‘perfect humans living perfect lives’ is a benchmark we all fall short of, so the OXO mum of the 80s and Gillette man of the 90s would get short shrift these days. Smart brands avoid this trap, emphasising realistic outcomes, helping people feel more capable and less pressured, and cultivating a healthier relationship with their products. A classic example is the way that Dove focuses on authenticity and self-acceptance, encouraging us all to embrace our natural beauty rather than conforming to unrealistic ideals. Or @C&G Babyclub's ?'Love Don’t Judge ’ campaign, promoting acceptance that we all parent in different ways, with the aim of freeing parents from the twin mental loads of ‘am I doing it right?’ and ‘what do others think?’.
2. Encouraging self-care and framing it as a necessity rather than a luxury, to allow people to prioritise, say, their mental health without shame or guilt. A good example of this is first McVitie's and now the Co-op ’s sponsorship of Mind 's ‘Let’s Talk ’ initiative. There’s a lot in it for us to believe that it’s OK to make ourselves and not our to-do list a priority, so it’s also no surprise that 欧莱雅 ’s ‘Because I’m worth it’ message went into common parlance and is now used to justify all manner of investments in self.
3. Providing light relief by simply making us laugh (especially at ourselves). There are countless examples of this but the current fave that springs straight to mind is giffgaff | Certified B Corp ’s latest ‘Are you on Giff Gaff or Something?’ Campaign. Batty – and uplifting
4. Promoting the ‘big stuff’ to encourage us (by implication) not to sweat the small stuff. Putting the mental load into perspective by majoring on authentic human connections ( Cadbury UK ’s generosity campaign being a classic example of this), helping us to remember that, despite the daily stress and pressures in the end none of that ‘stuff’ really matters. Or encouraging us to slow down, immersing ourselves in and appreciating the moment (as in Center Parcs ’s ‘Cherish Every Moment ’
5. Encouraging us to actually do less, and worry less and instead slow down, be with nature, or enjoy cooking without needing shortcuts, like the National Trust ’s ‘Everyone Needs Nature’ campaign or Lurpak’s ‘When in doubt, just cook ’

Better still, do both

Obviously, the killer combo is both functional and emotional – both asserting and embodying a permissive attitude (emotional) and delivering the product or service that offers a practical solution (functional). 宜家 Canada’s time-stands-still ‘Bring Home to Life ’ ad from a couple of years ago is a great example of this and well worth a watch.

A key question within this, of course, may be whether the emotional or functional is the lead:

• Do I first want a great meal for date night and second want a stress free solution meal – or is stress reduction my primary driver?
• Do I first want a nutritious and mess-free snack to bridge my kids between pick up and tea time and second want the snack moment to be a bonding moment between us – or is it the other way round?

The answer may be about which is the bigger / more dominant (or most resonantly emerging) consumer need or may be more about which is more distinctive versus the competition. All of which will vary.

Either way, in a world where the pressure to ‘perform’ is intense, and can feel suffocating, permissive brands can offer a counterbalance, positioning themselves as allies in a journey toward balance and reminding us that, in the chaos of daily life, it’s OK to prioritise ourselves and our happiness.

What’s not to like about that?

If you’d like to discuss this, feel free to email me on [email protected] or call

+44 7710 946493 and do visit our website www.lucidpeople.com

#research #insights #mentalload #permissivebrands