Mental Health Week - Anxiety

I would like to share my story with you around why I feel so passionate about health, wellbeing and mental health.

I went to my GP in April 2014 with a lump on my forehead and was referred to a consultant at the hospital for further investigation.?I was advised it was an Angiolipoma (a fatty lump) and the consultant removed the lump there and then.?For two years after, I suffered with pain, headaches, reactions to bright lights and a dropped eye but was told it was nerve damage from the incision of removing the lump.?I was referred to a pain consultant, who over the course of time, upped the pain relief medication to a point where I was taking 33 tablets a day – this didn’t stop the pain, it just made it bearable.?During this time, I was still working full-time and travelling every week, trying to carry on as normal. ?

I thought I was going mad, I thought it was all in my head (excuse the pun) – until I found a consultant at our local private clinic who was willing to start from the beginning and review my case.?The result – I had a brain tumour, a meningioma which was embedded in my skull pressing on the frontal lobe of my brain, hence the pain and symptoms.?Within three weeks, I was undergoing brain surgery to have the tumour removed. I was so lucky that the tumour was benign.?The surgery was a complete success however I was told there could be a 20% chance of reoccurrence and I’d have to be scanned annually for the next five years.

Eight weeks after the surgery, I decided to go back to work – back to working 60-70 hours a week, travelling every week, and I, didn’t recognise the signs that I was heading for a complete meltdown.?This happened on 14 November 2016, I woke up and couldn’t function, my mind had shut down on me, in an instance my life changed and I couldn’t understand why.?I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety that day, signed off work for two months and told to recover, slowly.?Those were dark days; feeling alone, empty, tearful, worried, anxious – I just wanted to hide and be on my own. I pushed my family away and felt the worst I had ever felt in my life. I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I had depression and anxiety – I didn’t want people to know. I didn’t tell my closest friends for fear of being judged or talked about.

But with the help of my family, my GP, my counsellor and eventually my friends, I began to recover when I opened up and told them.?As part of my recovery, I joined the Mental Health charity Mind and became a Mental Health First Aider with MHFA England and I also started my MSc in Workplace Health and Wellbeing at Nottingham University, to help me understand what I had experienced and why.?I was determined to turn my experience into something positive and learn all that I could from it.

In 23 February 2016 I was in hospital having brain surgery; 23 February 2017 I was off work recovering from depression and anxiety; 23 February 2018 I was enjoying my new life and April 2021 I had my 5yr scan confirming no residual tumour or re-growth and my next scan would be at 10yrs, not annually.

This is why I am passionate about health and wellbeing.

Don’t ignore the signs in yourself or in others; ask for help or ask others if they would like some help. Talk about how you are feeling and listen to your body, it knows you the best and it will tell you or make you stop if it’s had enough. The first step is always the hardest!