Mental Health Takes Effort

Everyone wants peace and positive relationships in their personal life and work. Promotions come to those who are positive, work well with others, get things done, and are solution-oriented.?

Noam Shpancer, Ph.D., wrote in a Psychology Today article , “Mental health doesn’t just happen. Like physical fitness, it takes effort.”

He says that mental health is all about managing the mind and equates our mental health to driving a car – we learn how to adapt to the traffic, change lanes safely, and drive in testing conditions.

It’s all about adapting to what is happening around us and adjusting our mindset and behavior to deal with situations so that we don’t hurt ourselves or others.

Develop Accurate Thinking Skills

Dr. Shpancer says it’s not about positive or negative thinking (both have their place) but about being guided by facts. “Decisions guided by truth and facts are more likely to prove successful. Sound mental health is served best by accurate thinking.” He cautions against habitual thinking and says it’s important to train the mind to investigate the facts.

Life is challenging, and we must accept this and work on our “responsive behavior.” This means accepting that we need to take action to modify our reactions to certain events and deal with them in a better way. We must consistently practice dealing with issues, as this will build a strong mental and emotional backbone. I still hate confrontation. I still hate having those difficult discussions, but I am getting much better at it. And in the long run, it benefits my mental health.

Remember Feelings Aren’t Facts

A life run on feelings is exhausting for ourselves and everyone around us! If we are too overly emotional, we tend to attract more drama, and a victim mentality can prevail. Or, we begin to play the blame game. We blame it on our boss, spouse, or government! While that may be true sometimes,? becoming combative helps no one.

Ask yourself honestly, what are you experiencing, facts or feelings? An honest assessment normally leads to humility, which is the great equalizer.

Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself; it is simply thinking of yourself less. Far too often, those of us who are sensitive lead with our emotions and can become self-absorbed.? Humility is the key that unlocks the door to a better life and greater self-awareness.

Accepting our emotions

The common error we all make is denying what we are feeling. This is because we don’t enjoy “negative” emotions. Avoidance and distraction are easy – work, alcohol, and relationships - but from my experience, the starting point of mental wellness is locating those difficult emotions and sitting with them.

My preacher was one of the first people I turned to when it came to working through difficult emotions a few years back. I looked at this guy who worked one day a week – on a Sunday (so, I thought at the time) - and wondered what he could teach me about life. A lot, it turned out. But, perhaps the most valuable lesson he taught me was the power of listening and allowing someone to speak their mind, their truth – no matter how difficult that may be. In turn, he taught me how to be a good listener.

Are you building character or being a character?

When we gain more self-awareness, we begin building character, and character builds self-esteem. Self-esteem increases emotional stability, and we become more resilient and predictable for all occasions. We may not be as fun or entertaining at cocktail parties, but we become the folks that people rely on. More importantly, our skin begins to fit regardless of our environment, which is worth more than its weight in gold.

An important part of building character is learning to be gentle with yourself. I can be my own worst enemy, and I need to be vigilant with my inner voice, which can be overly critical and judgemental. We all have our beasts to fight on any given day.?

And yes, with all this work on oneself comes discomfort, but sometimes one must do what it takes in the short term to enjoy consistent good mental health in the long term. It’s an investment and one worth making. Who’s with me?