Mental Health Starts with Self-Care: Providing Care for the Caregivers

Let’s look at the world today:

• Global pandemic: social distancing, physical distress
• Economic uncertainties: recession, inflation
• Technology disruptions: openAI, hybrid work
• Political incivility: toxicity, Ukraine risks
• Social injustice: DEI, wealth/pay gaps

Each of these (and other) global conditions increases mental health challenges (see figure 1 for symptoms, all of which are rising) for people in general and for employees at work.

Employee mental health underlies employee experience, which in turn affects business results (figure 2). So employee mental health becomes an important focus for both business and HR professionals in contributing to the success of the business. Business and HR leaders become caregivers when they seek to help employees improve their mental mental health as part of their employee experience, which is no small endeavor.?

Being caregivers requires significant personal reserves and must begin with taking care of oneself. Recently, I have observed, researched, written about, coached, and facilitated discussions on caregivers who are feeling burned out and struggle to give the care to others that they desire.?

My advice is to start caring for others by caring for oneself. Self-care is personalized, and what works for one person may not work for another. Just like a restaurant has a menu of choices depending on personal preference, self-care can emerge from a menu of nurturing actions. Let me propose a ten-item menu of self-care actions that will enable caregiving.?

The key assumption of this menu approach is that self-care is inherently personal. A menu of ten items leads to 3,628,800 choices (10 factorial) as individuals select a combination that works for them.

1. Define success; set expectations.

Be warned that one cannot measure personal success through others’ criteria or expectations. Success in both personal lifestyle (be safe, believe, become, belong) and professional achievements (status, power, insight, empowerment) is self-defined. Clear (and evolving) definitions of success?determine realistic expectations?that replace distress with contentment.?What do I want?

2. Ensure that aspirations exceed resources but by not too much.

Aspire for outcomes that require stretching but are reachable and within control. When success is out of reach, one will likely give up; when it is too easy, one won’t likely grow. When aspirations become reachable goals and when we meet those goals, we will have a sense of agency or control of our well-being.?What are my realistic goals?

3. Take care of body and space.

The most basic advice mental health professionals give for increasing emotional health is to care for one’s body (nutrition, exercise, sleep) and space (care for where you live, what you wear, how you manage time). Given realistic expectations (about health and space), this means living in a body and space that is physically and psychologically safe.?How well am I respecting my body and space?

4. Savor distractions.

I am always amazed at the range of hobbies that engage people: gardening, genealogy, photography, travel, sports, music, posting on LinkedIn (ahem!), movies, fishing, journaling, video games, cooking, knitting, quilting, handicrafts, board games, and on and on. Granting permission for hobbies (without being obsessive) positively distracts and lets the body and mind shelve demands and find joy.?What activities do I enjoy?

5. Disconnect from technology.?

Recently, a number of colleagues and those I coach have renewed themselves by disconnecting from the technology-obsessed digital world. The quick-fix dopamine high from constant digital connection (smart phones with Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, video games, or other screen time) often leads to addictive and unhealthy cycles. This is especially true for the next generation who often spend three hours a day on?smart phones.?As an option, being in nature, finding solitude, or even going to a monastery offers private time to reflect and ponder. Disconnecting from technology sometimes reminds us of who we are.?How comfortable am I being by myself?

6. Connect with others.

In general, for most people, the greatest source of lifetime happiness comes from relationships. Relationships require investments of time to share, serve, and at times repair. Having best friends at work and outside of work means having someone to share both joys and disappointments—big successes and daily events. When feeling at odds with someone we care about, we repair the relationship with forgiveness and understanding. When feeling personally despondent, we should engage in a service project for someone else. When feeling unappreciated, we should express gratitude for our blessings. When feeling lonely or isolated, we should be vulnerable by sharing and inviting others into our life.?Whom do I care about who cares about me?

7. Seek the divine.

By whatever means (meditation, mindfulness, prayer, scripture study, religious worship, or rituals), finding a sense of the divine may bring personal peace and renewal. Meaning through the divine may be found in religious settings but may also be discovered by living to a higher purpose.?What gives me a sense of meaning?

8. Foster hope.

Replacing?helplessness with hopefulness?comes from efficacy by knowing that one can accomplish something, optimism by seeing the good, and imagination by exploring new ways to get things done. An attitude of hopefulness appreciates what is right more than obsesses about what is wrong and focuses on the future more than the past.?What gives me hope in the future?

9. Learn.

Instead of hiding from mental health challenges, face them and run into them. Learning means showing resilience by being better each day. Learning requires self-candor by knowing strengths and weaknesses. Learning turns failures or mistakes into opportunities for growth. What am I learning to improve my mental health??

10.?What is your personalized idea?

As a business leader, HR professional, colleague, or friend, taking care of others starts with the self. By personalizing your selection from this menu, you might replace the prevalent mental health risks with a sense of personal abundance.?

In these demanding times, hopefully my family, friends, colleagues, those I teach and coach, and I can be caregivers by starting within.

..………

Dave Ulrich?is the Rensis Likert Professor at the Ross School of Business, University of Michigan, and a partner at The RBL Group, a consulting firm focused on helping organizations and leaders deliver value.