Mental Health & Remote Work

There have been many negative posts/comments lately about how remote work is terrible for our mental health.?

While there is undoubtedly truth to some of this commentary, I've found that much of it is either entirely unfounded or stated by individuals with no remote working experience and/or personal agendas.

We always need to consider data (important post by Brian Muse ) from credible sources. Still, it feels arguably even more critical to share authentic, real-life stories as there's so much to be learned from people living and working in unconventional ways. Their experiences may not be universally applicable, but we can glean valuable insights to consider in more cases/situations than we think.

(We also need to consider data like this and like this and like this)

Back when I played poker professionally, I can't tell you how common it was for other pro players to say to me how "stupid" they thought "X" player was and how even though "X" player was on a heater, they would inevitably go broke as their playing style was unsustainable. While in many cases they may have been right, I never looked at it this way. I always saw it as an opportunity to observe and learn from unconventional opponents as you just never know what tools you might be able to add to your toolbox if you have an open mind.

This same opportunity exists off the back of Covid for companies, team leads/managers, and for the office industry (who arguably has the most to lose from having a finite mindset).

In October 2021, my wife and I cemented a BIG life decision. We decided to move from Toronto (a BIG city) to a place that we had previously only ever thought of as a vacation destination, Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island.

It was a big decision for a lot of reasons. We put distance between ourselves and our family, we were knowingly moving to a place with a very different culture (how would we fit in?), and for me, it was tough to wrap my head around as I work in the commercial real estate industry as an office leasing agent ("How could I do it remotely?" "What will people in my industry think of me?").

But despite the many reasons to shut a decision like this down, we decided to take a leap of faith (I owe a lot of the life I'm about to describe further to my wife as she holistically saw a bright future, whereas I had some blind spots at the time) and put the values of the life we wanted to live ahead of the many unknowns that would lie ahead.

Since then, it's been a wild ride!

We've had the time and space to unpack our "before times" lives and start a process of integrating a lot of the practical, emotional and spiritual reasons we made this decision.

While I could write a novel (a biography is perhaps more accurate, but that feels narcissistic for some reason!) on all of this, for now I want to focus on this issue of remote work being negative to our mental health.

While I’m not an “expert” on this subject, I kind of feel like I am because my professional life has morphed from a five year stint as digitally nomadic professional poker player, to an eight year run in an office environment (selling the office to boot!), to what I am now calling a digitally “homadic” remote worker (still selling the office – but in new ways!).

So with that…

Here are a few pointers on how to be a remote worker without negatively impacting your mental health:

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• Stating the obvious, working for a company that has flexibility in its DNA is key. There are other ways though, I work as a 100% commission salesperson, which provides me the opportunity to decide how/where I work.?

• With the essential first step sorted, go live where you want ACTUALLY want to (considering necessary legalities). I cannot underscore the mental health benefits of being in your happy place. It won’t be easy as you’ll likely be putting distance between you and important relationships but life is short, there is simply no price worth paying for existing in a place that doesn’t feel like home.**I have full self-awareness regarding the inherent privilege in the statement above but that doesn’t mean it’s not O.K. to share as if we compare ourselves to others then almost every feeling and every decision in our lives would not be “permissible” - that doesn’t make any sense and doesn’t serve anyone…

• If a move is part of your decision, go in knowing that integrating yourself and loved ones (if you’re not solo) into a new environment will take time both inside the family unit and within the community. It’s a huge opportunity though, because as a remote worker you can now forge relationships across previous socioeconomic divides. The friends I have made in my community have far less barriers. I have friends in the retail/food services sector and the healthcare sector. And far less socioeconomic divides now exist in my life, my relationships are broader, not narrower. By example, we live across the street from a family with two kids and the parents are both essential workers. Sometimes they both need to be gone before their kids catch the school bus; no problem because I can wait with them. These same amazing people have welcomed us into their family, inviting us to Thanksgiving or Christmas and always go out of their way to invite us to family outings like swimming at the community pool with all of our kids. When you add all these types of community “credits” up, you’ll quickly have stronger ties than you likely ever had. All these experiences have caused me to learn that while proximity matters in building relationships, real community is more of a feeling than anything else, it’s waking up each day knowing that the people around you have your back whether you see them that day or not.

• Next is getting daily health practices in place - everyone’s will be different here’s mine:?

- Wake up at 4:45am with my wife

- Pick daily affirmation card

- Stretch with calming music & incense?

- Get dressed for the day

- Have coffee and do a quick journalling exercise?

- Get our daughter ready for school

- Walk dogs/spend time in nature (I am BEYOND lucky to live by the ocean!)

- Take a sauna/red light therapy

- Start working…

**I have found that I only have about 4-5 hours of true productivity in me per day and with remote work I don’t have to “pad” my day; instead I fill my mornings with healthy practices and time outside.

• Then there’s staying connected. I’ve already established how I achieve deep, meaningful in-person connection within my community (which I would argue is the most important IRL to prioritize in one’s life) but what I lack working predominantly remote is the same IRL opportunity with colleagues. There are two ways to look at this conundrum. The first is to perceive it as isolating and limiting. The second is to see it as an opportunity. I choose the latter. When it comes to the relationships that help me make my living, I take extra steps to stay connected. I’ll call people just for a chat while I’m walking in nature or running errands in town or I’ll send async voice notes either related or unrelated to work. Comedy is an excellent enabler of deeper connection so I try to joke around whenever I can. Beyond this, I see the world as my oyster. The internet creates the opportunity for connection at a global scale; brainwaves can collide everywhere! I’ve found that some of my most engaging relationships are FULLY digital as there is so much to learn about one’s chosen field (and well beyond it) when we connect intentionally online. And incrementally, I am meeting more of these folks IRL which is just the BEST as relationships fostered without a proximity bias can be even more powerful due to the extra effort required.

• Mixing up one’s environment is also key. I’ve already highlighted how I do this in nature but I also do it within my community. I’ll go and work at the coffee shop or at a coworking space regularly, or on any number of walks I take throughout my day and I find this is essential.?It’s here that I’ll refer back to the first point I’ve made in this article, flexibility. If you’re forced to sit at a computer screen 8 hours a day you’re not going to be happy but let’s remember that doing the same in an office won’t make you happy either! And if you’re an empowered remote worker (meaning you control your time), don’t subject yourself to a sedentary lifestyle. Take it from me, I did this as a professional poker player and did NOT yield good results.?

• Education is also a massive unlock of remote work. Because I don’t spend my time commuting to or being at the office for 8-10 hours (and I’ve accepted that I only have 4-5 hours of productivity in me!), I have at least a few additional hours a day to educate myself. I listen to audiobooks/podcasts while in nature but there are many options to choose from.

• Last but not least, PRIORITIZE your family! And if you’re solo, do yourself a favour and spend extra time in your community to forge relationships.

While I am a big believer in the importance of office environments for intentional reasons, I’m also a believer in the paradoxical nature of life…

I work in the commercial real estate industry and I do it predominantly remotely (traveling when required) from an island.?

I’m literally on an island, on an island!

If I can do it, so can you!

Removing the office as the primary place of engagement is not possible for many individuals or teams (nor does it need or have to be), but going back to my poker analogy, looking at the unconventional with an open mind can yield nothing but positive results.

If you got this far, thanks for reading and please let me know what you think in the comments.

P.S. lifestyle choices like mine are not for everyone and they’re certainly not for the faint of heart. To get vulnerable for a second, I don’t want to do what I’m currently doing forever and it’s confusing for me to figure out what to do next. But despite some fears about the future, I am equally more grounded than I’ve ever been because I’m living by the principles of what I’ve highlighted in this article and my family is happy/healthy. And it's a good thing I’m making the most of not padding my day because lord knows I’m going to need those extra hours of educating myself to continually sort out how to maintain my digitally “homadic” lifestyle for the betterment of myself, my family, and the lives of those I touch across all areas of my life.

P.P.S.

Check out this video I did with Farrah Khimji that talks about the importance of flexibility from the female perspective (one of many MASSIVELY under-represented voices)

Or this one on my health focused basement workspace (eat your heart out Malcolm Gladwell!)

Or this one on how I'm seeing community at the moment

Or this one on flexible vs. rigid work schedules

Or this one comparing/contrasting my values since moving from a big city to a small town

Or this one on why I think office mandates will be a passing fad

Or this one which asks the question "have we reached peak osmosis?"

Or this one on being a dad