Mental Health - Personal Stories!

I have to tell you a story of a young boy who migrated back to India at the age of 8 and joined a school in Mumbai. He was lost and felt he did not belong and tried hard to cope. He was good academically but struggled to become one with the group. Over the next 1-2 years some things happened and the bully in class and his group ostracized him.

"No one will speak with him" was the diktat by the bully and his cronies!

Now, you might think this is common and one needs to learn to move on. Well in this case the Do-Not-Talk diktat went on and on!!! Can you guess for how long?

FOUR LONG YEARS!!!!

Well, I was that little boy in the year 1969 to around 1973-74!!

Almost the entire class would not speak to me barring a handful who somehow were able to get an exception to talk to me without incurring the wrath of the bully's group. Ananta Padmanabhan Sarma was one among the handful.

I think I got hardened & scarred by that incident during that period. I learnt to be comfortable with myself and till date, I am like that to a large extent. One of my recent young mentees Rechana Nadar when asked about What is that one thing people may not know about KG, wrote - "KG hates socializing but is extremely good at it."

Whoa! Clearly she had understood me more than I had myself.

At that time there was no concept of counselling. My mom knew something was amiss, so she told my dad and he signed me up at a circulating library in the locality. I also joined a local gymkhana into the table tennis club.

I am sure there are permanent scars on my psyche because of this incident at such a young age, but I guess at that time, I just coped. I became a voracious reader - Enid Blyton, Hardy Boys.......Phantom, Mandrake......Sad Sack.....the entire works. That was a nice world to be in. I also wrote a diary....every single day. It was my secret and was a kind of catharsis, I guess when I look back. I had someone to talk to without judgement - MYSELF :-) Sadly I don't have the diaries anymore.

I was also drawn to spirituality!! My father was deeply spiritual and was a keen disciple of Ramana Maharishi. A book by the title "A Search In Secret India" by Dr. Paul Brunton used to lie around the house. I read it and was inspired. I instinctively knew at that young age that the quest was for something larger and deeper. Who Am I? That was the question nee' the quest that was crucial.

Why am I sharing all this with you?

Well if you look at me now, you may marvel at some of my achievements but I want you to know that I too am scarred & battered by life. I too am a sinner!!

Being isolated for 4 years at that young age is not trivial, when I look back now.

Serendipity and some higher powers helped me for sure.

But if you are down in your life, I want to give you hope. The view from my rear view mirror is full of such twists and turns. It should give you the courage that if he could, so can I.

"Hindi filmon ki tarah hamari zindagi mein bhi akhir tak sab kuch theek hi ho jata hai. Happies endings!!! Agar theek nahi ho tho mere dost, woh end nahi hai." ( I don't have to tell my Hindi knowing followers which movie this is from and who delivered these lines)

As I continue to peer into the rear view mirror of my life, I will choose some of those dark moments which I am comfortable to share NOW and write about them through this newsletter. Hopefully they may touch some soul somewhere and provide perspective, hope and courage. I hope this share did too!

"Picture Abhi baki hai"

Even to this day, when I see someone by themselves at a get together or a function, I go across to him / her and try and have a chat. Or at events, when I am met by many youngsters seeking my counsel or advise and I notice someone who try & come close to the circle, trying to get included - I widen the circle and invite them in. Small things perhaps, but I know what it feels like to be excluded.

Above all make the inward journey!!! Work on your personal OS and make it robust to deal with all things thrown at you.